Open Mic: Pure Remorse

what am i going to do, this shit just wont go away

all these messed up feelings and images keep fucking me side ways

I cant sleep due to all the chaotic visions, this shit has become a trend

this shit is causing me pain and grief looks like death is my only option

All those women and kids, or just unarmed people in general

i had to kill them over nothing, they didnt even get a funeral

Yeah i know it was do or die, for disobeying an order

We did all that over some Oil or control of their border

I came home after it all , thankful to  the lord to still Living today

but some bitch  tree huggin war hater, protests reminding me of those sinful ways

The lord will never forgive me, nor will i forgive myself

I deserve this one way ticket to burn forever in Hell

My mind is racin, i cant take it any more, made my mind up and its on lock

This shit ends right here, I place the barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger to this Glock!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunate if it's based on someone else. This is obviously a soldier's perspective which you explained decently but as rap lyrics, it lacks in flow. Some lines are too lengthy and some of the wording forces the reader to just recite it rather than rap it because it lacks rhythm. Rhyming with more syllables, placing rhymes in between bars, continuing a rhyme from the last line by rhyming the beginning of the next line with it, shortening your lines...all this is good practice if you're looking to improve and dedicate yourself to this. As for the piece itself in terms of what you created and explained, I think there's many that can relate to it. It's a very significant topic and again, if it IS based on a real person who was in your life, bless their soul. Stay up, man.