Open Mic: **Living The Pipe-Dream**

I was asked to post this in OM. Your feedback would be appreciated.







The trap is set, it's time for them to lead the way with blazing guns
with Peach as bait, Luigi stayed, concealed, in wait to take the plunge
he'd raid the front.. his brother watched the rear incase the soldiers got thru
gawping at the slaughtered corpses weirdly lay near molten rock pools
eerily displayed remains of all of those who came alone
those who solely failed to break the reign and boldly take the throne
strangely though, such sights that might deter the sane - astounding them!
meant nothing to the brothers - their perverted brains were round the bend!!
surrounding them were crowds ready to pounce, preventing loss of life
the docile guards are toppled, but protection round the boss is rife!
so once they've got inside and shot his guys with gauges, Glocks & nines
they'll off his wife inside his office whilst he's made to watch her die

see, in the past the twins were slinging crack back on the Kingdom streets
before THIS sting was planned, back when they lacked that competition streak
the kids could eat and life was great, until King Bowsers 'rise to fame'
he'd thrown a spanner in the works, suffice to say that times had changed
the once blue sky was grey, the nights were plagued with clouds of dusty smoke
as fires raged & plowed thru dusk lit homes which housed the Mushroom folk
the rustic roads were littered with remains of those who fought to live
still, mothers called their kids, distraught... a thought that's sure to haunt the twins

"look.. something ought to give, the thought of this for life is crazy bro"
"So let's go raid his home! - we'll torture him & fight to take control
his trade could make us loads - the client base worth twice our weight in gold!!"
we'll find what ace he holds & break his soul - this time we'll make him fold!!

and so ....
they vowed to make a stand & crush skulls for his drug stash
they'll reclaim the land until the plug's pulled in this blood bath
it's a basic plan to rake in grands - give & supply fiends
whilst being widely seen as heroes - they'll be living the pipe dream

this was pretty dope MANC.. like the way how you display the imagery and nice use of vocab... every bar were worded nicely... good to see u posting your stuff..

the once blue sky was grey, the nights were plagued with clouds of dusty smoke
as fires raged & plowed thru dusk lit homes which housed the Mushroom folk
the rustic roads were littered with remains of those who fought to live
still, mothers called their kids, distraught... a thought that's sure to haunt the twins
that's my type of shit right there Manc, absolutely excellent.. wish I could give you some constructive feed but I don't see any to give

Fucking artwork right here. Will be back to feed more in depth fer shurrrr. Just know I seen this, I love this and for now 5 star and a bump, kiddo.

This is my typa shit, u already know.

Your narration was solid. Loved all the details and the entire metaphor as a whole. Another Super Mario topical written very well and approached very creatively. Haha, you guys are tainting my childhood with the way you're depicting the video game. Nah, but, you wrote this awesomely. The flow never lacked because you pieced your words together carefully enough that everything read smoothly. Really enjoyed reading this for the story AND for the writing style. Double-edge sword right. Great work, man. Very entertaining read.

Solid piece through out, very good imagery, kept the reader interested the whole way through. No filler here sir. 

Pretty much what has been said by everyone already, real good read flowed perfectly wording was good and didn't disappoint, was creative the way you worked it but I'd expect no different tbh since you seem to have a way with bringing unique ideas to most topics, overall i enjoyed it a lot