Open Mic: Exiled

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Cuba View Drop Down
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    Posted: 19 February 2014 at 11:42pm
From a battle with LuckyD, topic was Exile...

Exile means to be away from one's home, while either being explicitly refused permission to return and/or being threatened with imprisonment or death upon return. It can be a form of punishment and solitude.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_exile
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Peter_Pan

The raft...

Exhalation, the raft we float on is rickety
Parents wave wistfully
Cheek where they were kissing me glistening
Still warm from tears rippling
Wonder will I ever see them again
Will I recover, my hearts grieving in pain
Feeling the strain, breathing's inane
The taste of salt seeping in veins
Then they were gone
Swallowed by the horizon
And we were left in the arms of Poseidon
I later read in the library of Greeks in sagas
Being eaten by demons from the sea in their armour
And I see flashbacks of Peter and Martha
Still feel the pain of them not reaching the harbour
Living with those secrets of karma
On a new land
Where they look at you like you had the features of Martians...

Fidel...

"Fucking Americans! In league with their Catholic henchmen!!
Spreading a veil a fear, snatching our children, tactical tension!"
Castro scattered the charts to the floor
Harsh to the core since he started the war
Flattened his spine, laying back breathing
Explicitly seething, implicitly scheming
"Listen to me clearly" he said finally, calm, impassive
"We now regard as Fascist any who farmed this cattle"
The message was cryptic, but I understood precisely
So we herded up collaborators, undertook it nightly
"Political prisoners should be spared from destitution"
They were lined up in the square and executed
Don't dare to test the ruthless...

La madre..

Death squads roaming through shacks
Foaming for flesh, goading, like Ronin with 'aks
Who's coping with that?
How else were we supposed to react?
Hold my rosary slack and praying to Saints
Nicholas and Elizabeth since my baby was taken away
Aching, ashamed, rage is encaged, naked with hate
Let them crash down my door waving their blades!
The fact I'm religious makes them suspicious
No place for faith in a state that's envisaged
As a Communist prison, where ya yell and ya scream
A nightmare across the coast from that American Dream
Spreads like a violent storm, descendants of a Mayan spawn
They play chess with ideals and expect my child as pawn?
So I made my decision, it's a tough one to live with
Beg my sons forgiveness, but couldn't turn my love to witness
I'll watch over him, I promise little Pedro
As they charge through the door gripping pistols then...

Miami...

I was one of the lucky ones, loving foster parents
But I still sit on the beach late at night to stare at
The horizon, feel like a cog in a machine
Freezing fog blotting my peace
Lost and deceived, rotting at me
Drop my rosary beads
What's the cost of this dream? The sky is the limit?
They're printing these tshirts like this guy is idyllic
Che Guevara, I'm despising the gimmick
And a flaming sambuca can't brighten my spirit
A paradise I can't visit, a life that is..but it isn't
I stroll down the strip, brimmed with bandanas
Across the foreheads of little gang bangers
This is Havana? Where they're snorting the blow
Imported the snow without snorkels on boats
They're living bravado, they conquer and boast
But, mi amigo, I just want to be home...

Comprende?
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Cuba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2014 at 11:54pm
Anyone?
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2014 at 12:13am
you're from england right??? your not cuban??? WTF how did you hit this out the park? lol Imagery off the fucking chain from the swallowed by the horizon on was sick.. how you create imagery the way you do using short bars and rhyming stayed on par.... you really know your shit cubes!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lucky D Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2014 at 1:53pm
Yeah this was a well written piece that clearly was better than mine. Always dope with the descriptive rhymes and flowed well. If ya ever want to go again I'm up for it.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2014 at 3:01pm
Ok, this was dope as fuck. First off, very poetic feel to it lyrically and with wordings. Also, the different angles you took here really makes it feel original. This is one of those instant classics for me, I knew right away.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote U.N.L.M. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 March 2014 at 2:44am
The breaks, the vibe, the wording, etc just all added to such a complete work of art...the continuation of concepts throughout the piece really showed you put the necessary touches on this (for example, a line saying your religious and then later dropping the rosary beads...stuff like that is just top-notch)...

this was dope as hell...Metaphors worked so well within this piece...The opening set was truly ill, really painted a picture/set the scene well for the rest of the verse to complete...The "swallowed by the horizon" and "left in the arms of Poseidon" was really nice...Then, the whole nightmare/american dream concept was dope...bringing back the horizon in the last set and the rosary bead/sky is the limit bar was tight...I can't praise this enough, but I don't want your ego to swell so I'll just say good drop and well done 



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2014 at 12:32am
This drop was just insane from the beginning to the finish. 
The wording was perfectly executed, the imagery and the emotion
Everything was there with this piece. 

Definitely was an original piece, and I loved how you did some real research for this and integrated it into your drop. Makes that originality shine a bit more as well.

There was way too many damn quotables to quote so I will just say that I really enjoyed this piece and it was an awesome drop. 
Go my Minions!


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