Open Mic: An American Education

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JBrenn View Drop Down
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    Posted: 29 March 2014 at 8:40pm
She brushes her hair and her teeth she refuses to eat just,
Cuase she get beat and teased for her weight on the school bus,
So she asks her mom for a ride,
but she's to busy has no time,
holding a five to nine on her grind,
Her daughter sighs and then cries.

But this isn't another BULLY rhyme no its about a system corrupt,
this is about a broken system designed to cookie cut,
We are forced to fit a mold and wonder why were called slow!
"You don't know what you are suppose to know!"
Teachers bellow and drone on about subjects they don't like,
Break up kid fights and demolish our human rights,
Our government decides our classes and paths,
Your "special" if you can't accelerate at math,
Your ass is dumb if you rather paint or write,
Individualism is punished almost on sight!

Now back to the girl who's smile is sweet,
clothes are clean hair is kept neat,
She draws on her trapper keeper that hides her true self,
Sits with her cheerleader friends and dreams of some wealth,
She's warned to not be late for class yet reach for the stars!
They find her poetry and punish the cussing but ignore the bars!
Her trapper keeper was all to keep her trapped by a reaper,
disguised as a teacher she rapped and they beat her,
not with fist but with doubt to defeat her.
But deep down they wana be her!
"Please Sir." She pleads "There just words."
"No my dear we need yer mother to see this verse!"
Her hands on her face she regrets her writings...
For her mothers wrath is swift like lightning...

She grabs her head phones blasting pink floyd as he calls...
she hears voices muffled and drowned out by "brick in the wall"
She speaks softly "we don't need no education!"
Then her mind drifts into a meditation...
Moments later her mother shows up...
in factory grease not make up... her comes the blow up!
She thought to herself headphones still on ten...
Her mother stands there quietly listening to them...
the principal hands her mother the poem.
She diverts her eyes and knows it will be worse at home...
A hand pulls down her headphones softly she fears this!
"No Mr.Principal she needs to hear this!
First of Honey this was an amazing read,
I almost teared up to where i couldn't breathe."
"What?!?!" interrupts the principal with a gasp!
"Shut up!" Said her mother "you couldn't recognize art if it bite your ass!"
She Continued "You punish a girl like this for words so true?
She cuts through your soul with this and your not moved?
You only see the FUCKS and ASS but refuse the poetry n smarts?!
Censorship of art is the diminishment to our hearts."
Her jaw dropped listening to her mother speak...
"BUT SHE BROKE THE RULES!" the principal squeaks...

No child left behind?
MY ASS!!!
EDUCATION SHOULDNT BE A SYSTEM IT SHOULD BE A GUIDE!
Education should be there to push you to greatness in whatever field you desire!
Education should be there to prepare us for the real world!

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H4ZE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote H4ZE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2014 at 5:31am
dope. This shit is all true, kids being put down for ART because of the bad language they use when really they really have talent and being called stupid for not being able to do math problems. Its all real witch makes me respect this a lot. I can relate to it on a personal level also. The imagery and wording was on point and the flow was nice through out this to. Dope shit.
Keep writing and stay blessed
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2014 at 7:38am
Thanks haze!
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sid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote sid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2014 at 11:08am
dude it is true 
back on our land things are also same
people here
 just hope to turn pages so that we can get paid in future
this was amazing the story was rolling in my mind
good keep it up!!

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AshleyKaos View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote AshleyKaos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2014 at 2:52pm
this was quite the political message hhere wich was wwell deliveered. i thought this verse was very dope with eexcellent imageyr and i like the message for hip hop here. how artists messages are smutherred or screend sometimes due to the "NORMS" or "STANDERDS" of what is and isnt appropriate what is and isnt art..aand it is a very prominent aspect in the school system ... fuck them i agree with you ! nice drop
NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2014 at 7:04pm
Ty everyone.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2014 at 11:23pm
dope concept/content, superb drop.

Clap

The world we live in is imperfect though, so it is what it is.
The same goes for capitalism.
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Freeda5thDawg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Freeda5thDawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2014 at 9:48pm
EDUCATION SHOULDNT BE A SYSTEM IT SHOULD BE A GUIDE!

Sums it up right there. Great take on this subject. Story kept my attention and the direction you took at the climax was also very uplifting and eye-opening. You didn't skip a step and made sure your writing and storytelling was kept consistent and interesting. If only the world was as fair and accepting as the mother in this story but unfortunately reality tells a different tale. Good job, man.
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2014 at 10:06pm
Really i want people to take the perspective of the mother here... if we alls ere more like her and looked at things in a different light with OUR children we can start to form the world we all desperately want...
i.e. our children to be able to learn essential life tools yet explore their own creativity. 

THANKS FOR THE FEED FREED!!! Always like seeing you on the threads!
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Smoothtung View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Smoothtung Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 April 2014 at 12:51am
I love this, man. I'm always down for the rebel shit. The attitude here is priceless and the message is transcending. Great piece.  
Imagery so vividly intrinsic you might miss it..
Though you never even had the chance to witness it
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 April 2014 at 7:52pm
Smooth thanks for taking time to feed this man!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Titu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2014 at 11:08pm
This was truly DOPE. Not just because the concept was so realest but also due to your flawless execution.
Very strong verse and i was feeling its every bar.. Your story telling skills went to the next level in this piece. Its one of the best pieces ive seen in a while. I cant do any critisizm as it was dope
Imo...and maybe im not on yo level but props on delivering such a meaningful messege across perfectly...
Stay up fam
Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.

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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2014 at 2:34am
Thanks titu! Always look forward to your feed fam!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Zinaii Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2014 at 4:51am
another side of ur versatility Brenn very nice topic vivid imagery storytelling was clean about the girl and I feel like u more then got ur point across.....keep em coming fam
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 April 2014 at 6:34am
Thanks again Z
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yand View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote yand Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 April 2014 at 8:39am
I thought the second stanza was a bit too straightforward in it's message especially the government part felt a bit crammed in (then again I have never been to an american public school so it probably is completely relevant), but everything afterwards was just gold.

I especially loved the line
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You only see the FUCKS and ASS but refuse the poetry n smarts?!

Which is really reflective of people who dismiss art due to some perceived vulgarity.
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 April 2014 at 8:34pm
yo all this feed is greatly appreciated I'm gonna try and hit all of you back this weekend!!! thanks again y'all
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JBrenn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 April 2014 at 10:22pm
bump
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwedishDope Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 April 2014 at 5:18pm
Amazing read man, got me hooked from top to bottom, props! Clap

Hope to see more from you and guess I got some catching up to do since I doubt this is one of your firsts :) 

big up/Swede
As I like to say, no such thing as "can't get no better, baadiing!" Gain no fame to stay the same!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 April 2014 at 8:27pm
This shit was real as fuck. I was nodding my head the whole time agreeing and that ender was great.

Tbh, this only needed one picture, the one of the broken ruler.

Well done, shit was on point, fam.
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