Open Mic: Come As You Are |
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Vellum 
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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 Topic: Come As You ArePosted: 26 June 2014 at 7:55pm |
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This was written to the karaoke version of "Come As You Are" By Nirvana If this my last supper I'm gonna eat it off the holy grail It's a 'hard knock life' all the cops they know me well I feel like 'Jay Z' lately having 'Nightmares Of A Lonely Cell" I aint scared of death but I'm scared to go to jail Even holding cells are freezing that's that's why I believe it's cold in hell I dropped out of high school now people say I'm known to fail those little black clouds aint so little no more they're all grown up and it's beginning to poor Its "never say never" but I wish I never been born I'll never say never when I see my record in stores Is there a killer in you? cuz there's a killer in me! Is there a killer in you? cuz there's a killer in me! I'm on the highway to hell, drivin in the fast lane Smoking every bust down I find up in the ash tray Adderall and all the pints of the caffeine Got me off the wall like dice in a craps game In this rat race the cheddar distracts me everytime I forget to remember it trapped me come as you are I'm a come as I am come as you are I'm a come as I am I'm like Kurt Kobain with the gun up to his head Razor blade romance there's blood up on my hands It's suicide soon as I get money in my hands Then I'm running to the packy & I'm guzzlin' these cans Addictions aint sprintin they running in my fam & Im gonna keep the tradition because I'm nothing but a man With a killer stuck in him that's fucking up his plans The killer stuck with me since my father up and ran I'm so close to death but my momma understands That I'm ... In too deep Found at the bottom Over my head, Drowning in a bottle Ten fingers aint enough For counting all my problems What other rap dude ... could rock a crowd to Nirvana? |
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 26 June 2014 at 8:00pm |
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Man I listened to this track yesterday actually, really cool as both a rock and rap fan. As an audio head you already have superior flow to most of the cats on here, no over-long bars and written perfectly for your voice. Tight rhyme schemes and no poorly used technique. Lyrically I enjoy the content though I know for a fact you got much deeper shit in you. All in all it's tight, but I think it comes across better in audio than in text. Good job.
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2014 at 8:03pm |
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This was a good piece, you stayed on topic well and you had some hard hitting bars. This is actually the first OM i've seen from you and you're showing me some quality shit right here. Stay up homie
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Vellum
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2014 at 8:04pm |
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thanks there's more to come
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Vellum
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2014 at 8:05pm |
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how the hell did you listen to this? ive been looking for it for two days!!
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 26 June 2014 at 8:07pm |
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Hahaha you crazy man, you gave me the link. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1293115 top song homie ;)
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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Vellum
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2014 at 8:09pm |
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i am not an organized person lol.
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Freeda5thDawg
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Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Posted: 27 June 2014 at 2:30am |
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Aw man, I was excited to listen to the audio but for some reason it isn't playing the whole track. Anyway, from what I did hear, it sounded like it would've been a nice listen. As for the lyrics, you definitely displayed skill here. I loved the flow of the second verse and the lyrics as a whole were pretty damn good. They seemed well thought out like you knew what you wanted to say and let your style dictate how it was said. Really enjoyed reading this and hopefully can enjoy the full track another time.
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The Law
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God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
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Posted: 28 June 2014 at 6:53am |
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This was a dope piece. It flowed very well. I thought you really picked it up in that second verse. Favorite line were the "ash tray, caffeine, razor blade romance" lines. I wish I can listen to the audio right now but I can't put it out loud and I'm not getting out of bed and going to my for the headphones haha. But tomorrow I will definitely give it a listen
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