Open Mic: Black orc - Disconnected Lyrics, |
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Blacc Orc
Newbie Joined: 08 July 2014 Location: Dizney Central Street Status: Offline Points: 39 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-0-1 Form: N |
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Posted: 11 July 2014 at 11:29am |
Disco...Lyrics,spinnin' mics like a party glowin' ball.
"Silence, dog. Your only purpose is to die by my hand." I'm lyrically improper... to me there's no order... rises shoulders n a collar... messages from a private caller... not in chronological order... my frontlines edge like those of the border... never had 9 months to test the water... not in logical order... flows a phenomina with my Godly themes... not to mention my rhymin' schemes... stay hedged on the schemin' scenes... prisms and laser beams... lucid dreams and vivid visions... it seems... deadly spits... my saliva is contaminated with sputum... Homerun up about to cum... Ghosts get spirits like rum... With vibrations that burst the ear drum... I'm mean and I don't mean to harm... I'm all numb and acting dumb... Thorn the ass and deflate Minaj's bum... This bear can't chew this gum... Only sluts belong to Boko Haram... I don't know what rhymes with that. |
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Ransom
Standard Member Joined: 30 June 2014 Location: 7 Citys Status: Offline Points: 911 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-0 Form: WW |
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This joint was all over the place.. I like the short bars and everything flowed well. Just didn;t understand what I was reading...
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Blacc Orc
Newbie Joined: 08 July 2014 Location: Dizney Central Street Status: Offline Points: 39 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-0-1 Form: N |
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thanks ran
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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...what the hell are you talking about? find a topic, even if it is as simple as a hype verse. free verse, but have a direction of some sort. seems like you just put words in a line and hoped it rhymed. <-- think a little bit before you just jot down whatever comes to your head.
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Trizzy Tre
Superior Member Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW |
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This verse was a mess Orc, it wasnt very good. Most of it was just random vocab words and thats it. Like the last piece I checked from you it was the same type of thing. You've got the basics down but need to pull together something that connects to a topic. As if you're trying to create an overly complicated verse when actually what you did hurt it.
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Blacc Orc
Newbie Joined: 08 July 2014 Location: Dizney Central Street Status: Offline Points: 39 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-0-1 Form: N |
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I need some practicals there,mind helping there and there Tre ?,mentoring I meant.
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