Open Mic: Forget A Keystyle |
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Blissful Barrage
Groupie Joined: 06 May 2013 Location: 210 Status: Offline Points: 320 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-5-0 Form: WLWWLW |
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Posted: 14 July 2014 at 5:42am |
…Put up any lines, I’ll match you bastards They’re done now throw ‘em to the Lions…Matthew Stafford Tired of these tough guy personas and when they retracing they statements LA’s resembling Catfish: The TV Show there’s so many fakes in these pages If you throw shots at me they’re subliminals that aren’t profound at all If I throw shots the scene’s painted red and your brain is slithering down the wall I don’t box for change but I’ll clock you lames you’ll be up then down like stock exchange So it’s not Louis V Millionaires or Ray Bans when I’m talking rocking frames My style is terminally ill beyond the healing touch of physicians And yours is benignant, check out the juxtaposition Going against me your life flashes before you it’s not long that it ends And it doesn’t make you more photogenic when I snap your limbs Weapons gripped fast and I won’t let you slip past as I let go a sick laugh I’ll open a big gash on you that drips fast with blood as I attack with a pickax
Texters and me are not the same and any comparison y’all got fail If you thinking you’re my tie (Mai Tai) you must be sipping rum cocktails
Applauding readers posting votes ‘cause I got thought provoking quotes Only time you could hear cheers is when proposing toasts You can get a nicer whore right on board that you might afford But only time you bag a chick involves buying a Michael Kors I prey on these kids when I’m staying relentless A few of my punches will have you laying defenseless Y'all are some of the worst, see how could your bars hurt me
Only holding Mead binders are your writtens five star worthy
Some boasting's soft and failed flow is off, I perused your text And you're not Mikael Prokhorov so you failed to move the net |
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Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
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really fresh read. got that old school type of flow and stuff thats a style of your own, really complimented this well. whole intro was really solid, buncha quotables in there. i liked the juxtapose line. photogenic / snap limbs line coulda been touched up, multis in the pickaxe line stood out, good imagery and word choice. same with the stock exchange line, really liked the flow in that one. mai thai line seemed a tad forced too, a little tweak woulda made it stand out imo. ending also solid
enjoyed the read, seems like it was a quick write kinda, just a few lines below what the expectations other lines presented. dope verse regardless.
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Blissful Barrage
Groupie Joined: 06 May 2013 Location: 210 Status: Offline Points: 320 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-5-0 Form: WLWWLW |
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Thanks for the look, Nigma..
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Pretty solid verse. I thought you kept your punchlines pretty fresh and original for the most part. The flow felt more appropriate for something like face to face, acapella battles but besides the pickaxe, juxtaposition, and Michael Kors rhyme sets, a lot of it either lacked rhythm or lines were too lengthy to have a steady pace. A real cool display of skills and flexing some battle raps though. Very much enjoyed it.
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Blissful Barrage
Groupie Joined: 06 May 2013 Location: 210 Status: Offline Points: 320 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-5-0 Form: WLWWLW |
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Appreciate the feed on this then , yeah...
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Blissful Barrage
Groupie Joined: 06 May 2013 Location: 210 Status: Offline Points: 320 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-5-0 Form: WLWWLW |
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Oops, bumped it. Some last feed would be appreciated, thanks.
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Point Blank
Superior Member Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Yea I liked this man, it's good to see you back writing. Some clever plays in here and technically you're a very good writer. I think your main strength is wordplay based on people's names in battles, sort of like you did here with the Mai Tai bar, you're one of the best at that sort of thing. Your verses are always entertaining, it'd be good to see you drop more man
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Trizzy Tre
Superior Member Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW |
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Damn Bliss, you are killing the punchlines in this one. Its one after another.
The set ups to each really helped the impact of the punch, no to mention how origianl each of them were. Thats something I've really noticed about your barz, the angles are completely fresh...then you throw your own spin on it and BAM the punch hits even harder. The flow was spot on too...
Solid verse bro
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Sirius
Groupie Joined: 18 July 2014 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 76 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-3-0 Form: LWLL |
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Loads of great set up and punches and wordplay here. Plenty of variety and clever concepts. Props on bringing all of these elements to the table in one drop. I agree that there are plenty of quotables but also agree that the length of some lines disrupts flow. I was really liking the flow and multis when you dropped this bar:
Overall great delivery and a refreshing read. |
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Red-B
Groupie Joined: 09 January 2014 Location: FL Status: Offline Points: 408 Crew: eNtiTy Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-1 Form: NWW |
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This is a really nice verse here man was a good read definatly, had some good wordplay In here and non directed punches that caught my eye, flow was smooth and had a different feel to me, also schemes where pretty good overall good read and I'll check out ore of your stuff
Keep up and stay blessed |
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