Open Mic: My S3 Verse - Comments+Criticism Welcome

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BiggStankDogg View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 August 2004 at 9:09pm

My opponent is Flawless
--------------------------------------------------------
Stage 1 = Warm-up...

Prepare to meet the He-Man of rappin', I'm battlin' cats till I waste up their 9 lives
Your members must wish they were admin - that way THEY could win the site's top prize...
Flawless gets half his wins from no-shows - the other half he's gettin' his clit sucked
But who better than the Heavyweight Champ here for the job of holdin' my dick up?
My scary presence in raps is amazin' - like what Wes Craven & Jason exchange at Christmas
Your flow's poorer than Mr. Hanky - spit some rhymes that are worth more than two shits
These fools be California Dreamin' - they keep thinkin' they can beat the best of L.A.
We'll devour these cats alive like Alf's family reunion at an All-You-Can-Beat Buffet

Stage 2 = Lambs to the slaughter...

Welcome to the Fight Club of rhymin', and I'm Tyler Durden hittin' with quick-fists
You stand in Stage 3 group-hugs cryin', you're the blurred verbal vision of Bitch-Tits
Listen - this limp-wrist spits heat that couldn't penetrate the Invisible Man's vest
I heard this dude's blingin' with the pearl-necklace ~~BRIGGZY~~ left on his bare chest
This cat's really reachin' for punches - his wack avy jab managed to make me giggle
I rock a skull and crossbones - this bitch is repped by a shirtless dude and his nipples
Burnin' this Stage alive and crispy - y'all nothin' more than a notch on our hitlist
De-pantsed with rhymes, I expose what you're lacking - this bitch's NEW name is Dickless

Stage 3 = Faggots...


Fear the Bow of the Silent Archer
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Demonic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Demonic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 6:26am
sick verse man im likein this drop havent seen the other guys yet but that'll more or less rip lol nice drop man


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King Jehu View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote King Jehu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 8:46am
lol, you funny MF... good shit.
Insert something rappy here
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-Orion- View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Orion- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 8:49am

Funny, mocks 'em. hit's 'em hard, rhyme scheme is simpler, wordplay you both had, not sure where that goes, you both flowed OK but I think you take flow as well.

All in all, you have your work cut out for you, because he's the Admin on this so-called "neutral" site, so I think he'll take it. My opinion? You run each other pretty close, if you'd have thrown some more rhymes in there it'd have been yours for certain.

. . . Now who said they fuckin' with me?
They just said that FUCKIN' with me
They didn't mean it
Nah . . .
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King Jehu View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote King Jehu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 8:56am

...says the guy with the wins

Insert something rappy here
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BiggStankDogg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote BiggStankDogg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 9:43am
Yeah, I was gonna tweak it a bit, but I just got a shitload of work dumped on me, and I had no time for touch up. Still, I have a feeling if I dropped the golden verse on that ass, I'd still lose because we're at the station waiting for the Dickride Express to drop off the voters. I think you're right -Orion-, it could have been more lyrical... Any other feedback?...

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BRIGGZY View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote BRIGGZY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 3:06pm

i didnt wanna flood the battle n yeah im from Stage Three

but i liked this drop..flow was tight nice punchlines and humor was crazy..Should be a hot battle Flawless got skills too so good 2 c who takes this 1

PeAce

..Gingerfication Album - coming 2011..
www.facebook.com/briggzyuk
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Cuba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 3:18pm

Yeh it was a nice contrast in styles...BSD had a simpler verse but he came hard, his opponent had a dope verse 2 tho, so that cud go either way...

But its nice to see someone with the ability to punch without having complexity around it...since a lot of people try to be more complex with there shit, its nice to see a difference...

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote 20theTruth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2004 at 6:16pm
yeh itz ben sed but da verse did seem Alot simpler but the punchez and humor overriden that ish so even tho rhymez aint at onpoint da fuckin wordplay and str8 up jokez had me crackkin up so yeh ima hafta hand to u 1upz payce1 - 20 ´´the truth´´
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