Open Mic: From nothing to LA

i got to LA just by looking for some sites with rap
so i could prove myself that i was set for life with facts
but as soon as i post my first verse it was truelly wack
it was like i took a scripture from a dogs ass chewed with plaque
i got into my first battle, walking in with class but still failed to rattle
couldnt lay a hit, saying shit that made me run as i said skidaddle
outlawed by Cee-jay, his earthquake hit me like a true punchline
and i was like holy shit, and from there on he tought me to punch rhymes
but then came lunch time, i started rewriting my "lethal" verses
i didnt know the concept of similies or wordplay to put people in herses
so then i heard it, most of the vets and members helped me to open the curtain
their verdict tought me to never back down no matter how much i was hurtin
from them i worship, i will always have respect for every member of the site
even if its a mutual one, its just like if weve been in a horrible fight
to write on this site you need to be active, rappin and feeding others
i joined to get better with rhyming and were all like breathing brothers
i was with big game, allthough he was hated on badly
the knights were shutting down, not a frown to see him banned- see?
but soon i rose with emotional pieces, thats how i expressed
so i got help to create the syndicate, something to commit as the best
although i fucked up, i dropped from the crew cuz i knew i was on the line
trying to find peace with PB and vis maior, i failed cuz i was wrongly inclined
the story im telling is from my experiences on this site i chose to love
lyrical assault is what im talking bout, not the void Above

this was okay IZ I liked your content and the realness some of your end schemes needed a slight adjustment but most were worded well I liked some of word play as well over all I think this was proper man good work

Not bad story tellin it flowed well and I even lolz at the dogs ass

Keep at it

thanks guys, appreciate the looks and positive feed.

Nice drop, definitely came with all the tangibles, flow, direction, multis, wording rhyme work, the story could have used a tad more insight and metaphors but I've read enough of your stuff to know you wrote what you wrote on purpose, and I respect when I see those pieces, they're always on some real shit, feelin this man, great work, stay up