Open Mic: Rejuvenated |
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Alpha&Omega
Newbie Joined: 07 April 2015 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 31 |
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Posted: 11 April 2015 at 4:05pm |
Seeming to trifle had my share of alcohol and drugs I was involved with thugs instead of reading my Bible Conceited my idol, myself, statue in my image Casually I’m sinnin’ and I’ve even seen an asylum I was takin’ out on a stretcher with several knife wounds Was a rebel like you battled the
doubts and the stressors In trials and tribulations, look
out for my brethren Counseling reverend, was exiled
from sinner sanctums Had miles of inner hatred, was worshipping myself Worsening my health I was vile no vindication At alcoholics anonymous confessin’ what I did last night the sins that fright I have a problem, it’s consciousness Can’t solve it and I’m convinced I am to die alone Knives, patron inside my dome is all that I’m authorin’ Though what I wrote was genius always drunk during this time
Of slurring my rhymes, no doubt, I was a hopeless heathen I put my Hope in Jesus, blessed with a beautiful wife My future is bright, Holy Spirit exposed the demons Now I’m mostly seeing, God’s beautiful rays on the days Face the days as I pray, no longer a Christian and Laodicean |
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thryjoe
Groupie Joined: 09 April 2015 Location: ur mans pants Status: Offline Points: 289 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-2-1 Form: LQL |
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Wow! Really great! I love it.
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they told me it was reality, but it's really all in your mind.
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Alpha&Omega
Newbie Joined: 07 April 2015 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 31 |
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Thank you, I appreciate it! I thought I'd try my hand at the ABBA rhyme scheme. I paid special attention to the syllable count in each bar.
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6 Boson
Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW |
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I like the Rhymes schemes and vocab... This was a really nice read, keep it up man
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6 Boson
Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW |
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Theeeeee rhymes schemes man, I aint seen this kinda ish before, and I like it pretty much bruh, this is some create lyricism
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6 Boson
Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW |
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I re-read it undisturbed, hence the feed again... Word
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nomedic
Standard Member Joined: 11 January 2014 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 1578 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-25-0 Form: WWLLWL |
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Man the call backs here showred trrue class i liked how you put these rhymes down shit was pure man and thecontent was on point the style you used reminded me of an elzhi verse so you can only imagine how much i liked this man dope
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Geeza
Groupie Joined: 24 February 2015 Status: Offline Points: 158 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-0 Form: LLWWL |
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thats wikid! man i relate too your story. i love everything about this, from multis to flow to vocab an more. great display of your obvious ability.
keep em comin
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Inertia_Rage
Newbie Joined: 14 April 2015 Location: New York Status: Offline Points: 21 |
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Not gunna lie had to re-read over twice. Buts that's only because I had been working the first time. Well worth it this is well designed. I love it!
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One Love,
Inertia_Rage |
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