Open Mic: As The Raven Flies

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    Posted: 14 April 2015 at 12:02am
you know when I was young, I never contemplated Jesus
i'd smoke a joint at break and sit there mocking all my teachers
a weakness, my uniqueness simply brought me to distraction
i was clever, dressed in leather, never thought about my actions
I was cold, I didn't give a shit, a kid who lived fa hittin spliffs  
resisted ever thinking that a kingdom was as big as his
or hers, I'm not sure yet, don't know all of the secrets
so i read the dreams of older blokes who wrote a holy thesis
now I'm seeking the divine, in lines of any ancient text
to find elation at the beating of the faith within my chest
i'm steady searching for a sign but nuttin' whistles in the wind 
is that a whisper of a king behind the verses in my mind?
and is that figure sickened with the lack of mercy of the times?
or are we dust within the storm just born of earthly cess and grime? 
do we owe our very being to the very beings in my many dreams?
is there life behind the screens we'll never see in any memes? 

I wake up, wipe the tiredness from my eyelids, as I yawn
I see a new universe manifesting in the rising of the dawn
inside the violence of the storms, a silent island's crust is formed
the mountains rising from the sea to find a vibrant brush is spawned
across the land-scape, and the man-apes point their fingers to the sky
with smiles suprised to find the firey light that's singing all their eyes 
so are we tyrants by design, or simply victims of our crimes?
is God legit, or is there simply something missin from our lives?
is the shit within the scriptures simply fiction? is there wisdom?
is the notion of a soul a twisted glitching of the system?
is our focus on the gold an illness, sickness or condition?
are we crazy in our nature? did we flip our lids in "isms?"
was it prisms, schisms, rhythms, trips or visions of religion
that delivered me the gift of spittin lyrics with precision?
does a spirit slip within my little tricks of witty wisdom?
or am i sick because i learn the words and spit'm with conviction?

so now I'm older, I might take a peek at jesus
to see if i'm reflected in the depth beneath his features
i need this, but i'm open to suggestions to believe in
even dreamers need to feel'n see the realness through the textbooks and the 
schemin, i'm still reeling from deceptions of the demons
they broke me, now i'm hopin for an exodus to eden
but mostly i'm just moping through the texts of blokes with reason
to find a life of pride that hides inside my empathy and feelings
should I try'n fight my spite in-spite of everything I've seen?
and should a guy inclined to try, be pious, restful and serene?
or is it all about the thoughts'n doubts? be spiritual or devout?
are we prayin every day or is he sick of dudes just callin out?
i like to think that we're just many players on a stage, and
every, hatred, pain and dissarray's just fake for entertainment
i'll make a play of every day and aim for greatness and elation
when it comes to me and God I'd say "we came to an arrangement"


Edited by SwordedStylez - 22 April 2015 at 11:28pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote 6 Boson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 11:19am
Damn bruh, this was pretty sick... Your flow was spot on and solid through-out, and the content was Gold.. You did pretty good with this.. Keep it up man
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 4:36pm

you know when I was young, I never contemplated Jesus
i'd smoke a joint at break and sit there mocking all my teachers
a weakness, my uniqueness simply brought me to distraction
i was clever, dressed in leather, never thought about my actions
I was cold, I didn't give a shit, a kid who lived fa hittin spliffs
resisted ever thinking that a kingdom was as big as his
or hers, I'm not sure yet, don't know all of the secrets
so i read the dreams of older blokes who wrote a holy thesis
now I'm seeking the divine, in lines of any ancient text
to find elation at the beating of the faith within my chest
i'm steady searching for a sign but nothing whistles in the wind    
is that a whisper of a king behind the verses in my mind?
and is that figure sickened with the lack mercy of the times?
or are we dust within the storm just born of earthly cess and grime?
do we owe our very being to the very beings in my many dreams?
is there life behind the screens we'll never see in any memes?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

First verse - Im gonna try and get gritty with this feed. So.....
First off. As a whole. this verse had some very nice content.
I liked the progression that you came with as far as the
content is concerned. It painted a nice picture along
with hella nice flow. I had a few spots where i thought
you could have fixed. I highlighted them in red. I read
the verse with out the words in red to give it a smoother
flow. Even though its still like butter.

"i'm steady searching for a sign but nothing whistles in the wind"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Im talking a guess that "wind" is pronounced Weh-nd? If so, nice.
 
 
_________________________________________________________________
 
 
I wake up, wiped the tiredness from my eyelids, as I yawn
I see a new universe manifesting in the rising of the dawn
inside the violence of the storms, a silent island's crust is formed
the mountains rising from the sea to find a vibrant brush is spawned
across the land-scape, and the man-apes point their fingers to the sky
with eyes surprised to find the firey light that's singing all their eyes
so are we tyrants by design, or simply victims of our crimes?
is God legit, or is there simply something missin from our lives?
is the shit within the scriptures simply fiction? is there wisdom?
is the notion of a soul a twisted glitching of the system?
is our focus on the gold an illness, sickness or condition?
are we crazy in our nature? did we flip our lids in "isms?"
was it prisms, schisms, rhythms, trips or visions of religion
that delivered me the gift of spittin lyrics with precision?
does a spirit slip within my little tricks of witty wisdom?
or am i sick because i learned the words and spit'm with conviction?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Im loving the second verse here. Very philosophical. The flow was butter
smooth and your choice of vocabulary was nice. I was able to paint a
vivid picture of what you were trying to say. That's gangsta shit right
there. I had the "planet of the apes" type of vibe to this. Don't know why
but when I read this, that's what came to mind. DOPE SHIT
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 4:47pm
Sup Sword, seen you around & we haven't caught up yet. I like what you're doing with that Boom Bap Collective. The idea is fire and hopefully you guys make some moves. First verse, I disagree with Dizzle on some spots about the flow. I thought 98% of it was perfect. I do agree that dropping "simply" would create a better flow. I think that in "I was cold, I didn't give a shit", you could drop the second I. You already have it 2 words earlier so it sounded better, to me as "I was cold, didn't give a shit". Those were the only 2 flaws from what I saw. Everything else was butter. The second verse, pure flame. The second half of the verse is where it really was just "it". That really shined and brought the whole piece full circle. Extremely strong finish. That last 8 lines is a quotable. Content is something any thinker has gone over before. I think you hit the nail on the head. Hope to hear this as an audio. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 6:29pm
Haha actually both the "simply" and the "i" are to IMPROVE the flow in my accent haha short vowels people, short vowels ;). And dizzle, you're correcting me badly I don't "I wake, up wiped my eyes" that's mixing tenses fyi. And you obviously missed the call back "in the wind" it rhymes with "whisper of a king" not the end rhyme of the next line. Please do me a favour, refrain from correcting me when you're actually wrong, makes me want to slap you ;)
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 6:38pm
Don't slap me SS,
 
I pronounce a few words differently because of the differences in dialect. No biggy. I have to keep reminding myself to spit it as if I was an Englishman. I see the correspondence between king and wind now. If you never brought that up I would have never saw it. I say wind and W-eh-nd and King and K-ee-ng. Difference pronunciations obviously. Though, this was still a bad ass drop. Next time ill look out for the little differences in dialect and slant them to make it flow better. Im not actually wrong, just a barrier between UK n my Chicago ass lazy tongue.   
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 6:43pm
Actually you ARE wrong. "I wake up, wipe the tiredness from my eyes" is correct. You correction of "I wake up, wipeD the tiredness from my eyes" has me talking on 2 tenses in the same sentence, definitely WRONG. Just so you know. (yours would only work if you also changed it to "woke") I'm not talking about a past experience in the verse, it's present tense. The "imagery" is the stream of consciousness in that present moment. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Titu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 8:21pm
Shit.  The flow on this thing is crazily smooth. By listening to your tracks, now I see how you flow. It had the same vibe as "you never know". Like i could see where to bump the words and where to put extra pressure. Very smooth verse. I was also feeling the content, there were a lot of quotable but this bar was 🔥 
 " inside the violence of the storms, a silent island's crust is formed
the mountains rising from the sea to find a vibrant brush is spawned" 
You had some deep vibe on this. Kind of shit I would love to listen on audio.  Dope work.
Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 April 2015 at 8:35pm
Yeh i won't critique this, not much to critique if i'm honest anyway. The multi's and flow were spot on. I'm sure this works perfectly on audio aswell. Some nice real life shit and plays on words here. Enjoyable piece ss.
#bananas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 April 2015 at 8:12am
good looks all
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote nomedic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 April 2015 at 8:44am
Yo sworded i remember you saying you dont do topicals ayt what was this it didnt look like a keystyle shit was precise though i could relate to everything you touched on due to the detail and imagery and the accuracy in wording too helped with that also this was a nice read that gave me insight to some extent and the approach first explaining your situation then asking the questions afterwards nice man
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 April 2015 at 6:23pm
"topical" = pick a topic and write on it. I NEVER do that. this is just how i express myself bro, seriously, ask anyone who's seen me keystyle in real-time, I'm not someone who needs to sit for 12 hours to write like this, this took me about 10 mins once i had the basic beat laid down. Frankly, I write songs. "topicals" is a text thing bro.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Naga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 April 2015 at 7:59pm
Another nice drop from you Sworded, you been in this longer than most and this really goes to show it. My favourite excerpt has to be:

"I'm not sure yet, don't know all of the secrets
so i read the dreams of older blokes who wrote a holy thesis
now I'm seeking the divine, in lines of any ancient text
to find elation at the beating of the faith within my chest
i'm steady searching for a sign but nothing whistles in the wind 
is that a whisper of a king behind the verses in my mind?"

Deep few lines here, makes you think about interpretation, a holy book that rules a nation, defining emptiness and happy elation. 'whistles in the wind' reminds me of Bob Dylan's 'Blowin' in the Wind' which has very transcendental roots if you've seen how the earth and wind are connected as a whole. You made me question faith as a definition. 

I also appreciate how you avoided
topical premonitions
, you just let the flow hit the keyboard and we gota piece that probably reflects your inner conscious state. 

good write.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 April 2015 at 8:32pm
good looks, thanks.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2015 at 11:29pm
edited with full vocals as i'm likely to record in the next couple days
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2015 at 3:57pm
*Puts on Nas - Hate Me Now*

Originally posted by SwordedStylez SwordedStylez wrote:

now I'm seeking the divine, in lines of any ancient text
to find elation at the beating of the faith within my chest

*most critically acclaimed Pulitzer prize winner* ....not the best story teller though lol

i'm steady searching for a sign but nuttin' whistles in the wind 
is that a whisper of a king behind the verses in my mind?

*it took a little time to claim your spot, Chairman of the board till the game stop and you side with the lord*


is the notion of a soul a twisted glitching of the system?
is our focus on the gold an illness, sickness or condition?
are we crazy in our nature? did we flip our lids in "isms?"
was it prisms, schisms, rhythms, trips or visions of religion

*best flow I bet the whole U.K know*

i'll make a play of every day and aim for greatness and elation
when it comes to me and God I'd say "we came to an arrangement"

*Second to none, blame God he blew breath in your lungs*



+Sick-Witted+
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote NoteBook Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2015 at 4:13pm
I needed this on my spirit... im glad to see my thoughts arent so.crazy .

Ive gone through the same struggles with religion and spirituallity....
But we aint here for that lol..

I would love to hear you spit this.... it reads like a badly written poem... not saying its not good just i cant catch your flow justfrom reading itand that throws it off .... for me atleast...
The concept was superb and the wordplay nice... just that dreaded fucking flow lol...
Thats my only complaint though... its still 9/10 for me

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2015 at 5:54pm
You can't catch the flow because you're reading it ina Memphis accent I'd guess, I'm british haha so my accent works a little different. Good looks on the fee d though, i'd be interested to hear YOU spit considering you just called me flow terrible, just sayin...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Triton Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 April 2015 at 1:51am
Damn.This piece was dope.Nice multis and it flowed basically all the way through.Nice Piece.Keep it up
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