Open Mic: 16 Borz |
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SageOne 
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Joined: 12 June 2006 Location: At Your House Status: Offline Points: 2976 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-13-2 Form: WLWLLL |
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 Topic: 16 BorzPosted: 04 May 2015 at 11:26am |
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Not sure if I'm breakin rules by posting without droppin 827478 links to feedback I've given on other open mics, it's been a minute... just gonna key some stuff and if it's in the wrong place then just delete this.
 Been gone a minute, let us talk and grimace about all we've missed since I dont often visit so much has gone on, like those Boston victims, or how now my city has Marijuana clinics you don't even need a doctors visit for pot prescriptions I'm back and good as always same pot to piss In. I'd often think about the wrongs we're living or rather, how in Baltimore the cops are trippin. Mayweather beat pac man, the wrong decision. And In Florida guess what... the law is trippin. The state in which I live just left the water drippin now the faucets shutting off, the world left hot for children of ours who never thought this'd be the awful vision We could've never foresaw since before Seahawks was winning Superbowls... but I guess I been doing the usual. Thought I'd be able to recall more major events since we last spoke, LA... but then again it is 3 in the morning. Cheers babes. |
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dalinquent
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Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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Posted: 04 May 2015 at 2:10pm |
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Pretty basic drop here, not bad but not stand out... sup tho
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 04 May 2015 at 2:12pm |
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This was nice for a key. The flow was pretty good and your multis were fresh. Content was uptodate lol yet a little sporadic. Still not bad brothaman
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SageOne
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Joined: 12 June 2006 Location: At Your House Status: Offline Points: 2976 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-13-2 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 9:35am |
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Sup doe
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 7:05pm |
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What the?! What up bro! You back for reals?
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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Scotty32
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Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 7:22pm |
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Welcome back Sage!
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queensavage
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Joined: 01 May 2015 Location: midland texas Status: Offline Points: 19 Crew: XFade: Phoenix |
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Posted: 06 May 2015 at 4:21pm |
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well although i dont know you welcome back!! i like your stuff kind went and stalked out some of your stuff...sorry bout that ...anyways like i said welcome back
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(Q_S)
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SageOne
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Joined: 12 June 2006 Location: At Your House Status: Offline Points: 2976 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-13-2 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 07 May 2015 at 1:40pm |
I'm gonna try, man. Just moved to the beach. Not sure how the hiphop scene is over here and we all need an outlet so one can only hope. Good to be back yall |
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Parker
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Joined: 06 May 2015 Status: Offline Points: 10 |
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Posted: 07 May 2015 at 2:41pm |
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That's pretty decent man, I like your flow... However although I'm a newbie to the site I'd suggest mixing up your rhymes a little but, try and experiment with not rhyming at the end of each line. I know you didn't do it throughout but it'd be nice to see what you could do with a little bit of experimenting, also I like the real life references, you used them well. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on anything, only seen this verse of yours and don't wanna mean any insult or disrespect.
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SageOne
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Joined: 12 June 2006 Location: At Your House Status: Offline Points: 2976 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-13-2 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 08 May 2015 at 5:45am |
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Not rhyming at the end of each rhyme is for...poets maybe? Or bad rappers. Granted, this is a text forum so I guess...but Im an audio cat through and through so if I dont rhyme at the end of each bar, it just sounds wack. Some shit only reads well...but over a beat its trash...its more of a musical rule than a writing rule. But I appreciate your feedback Parker, welcome to the site and way to get involved!
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nomedic
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Joined: 11 January 2014 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 1578 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-25-0 Form: WWLLWL |
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Posted: 08 May 2015 at 10:19pm |
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i thought the flow here was pretty nice bro i get what you mean by saying the rhymes are rather suited for an aidio but i dont even get why a writer has to explain that it depends on how a reader reads this i guess off beat or on beat but this was definately spot on via the flow aspect and for a key this was pretty outstanding.considering the content stay active im looking forward to something way better from you
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 08 May 2015 at 10:20pm |
What UP though? You need to come join me and Dal in our audio revolution, free production a leadership and a bunch of talented kids and noobs who love to spit ;)
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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SwordedStylez wrote: