Open Mic: Beans presents:LA cypher3 (chain,tre,bren,nig)

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    Posted: 09 May 2015 at 6:10pm
LA cypher


REPRESENTING
SYNDICATE
JBRENN



Feverishly he peaked early the sleepish geek...
Either he's freaked or he sheepish to speak...
Neither he's geeked B's Bad meanest to teach...
Mouth breathers impede the cleanest of speech...
The fiercest to breech the sites weirdest emcees...
Speared spirits mirrors tiers best mean nothing to me...
Vets fear B steer clear I'm armstrong stretch with the reach...
Lets hear jeers tears flow like liquor when deaths in the street...
Now he's like meeting Meth blessed by a deaf psychotic priest...
Iconic feasts test his chest breath filled with microscopic beasts...


TRIZZY TRE

A lurking wordsmith wit Murderous fists puts yall on a witness stand...
I'll kill myself just to spit in a Notorious face cuz i aint a Biggie fan!
Wicked hands land heavy shots, battle me? let's go bitch...
blessed flow shit, no Tamfa but you'll still be a dead Poet!
Gotta smooth toung yet I wrote it, Tre prone to some violence...
Some of yall been quiet like you're having your own moment of silence!
Hoe in disgust shit, u got some bitchy mood centered hate....
Never drop Gold, just old Olympians wit Bruce Jenner traits!
Who's real or fake? ...jock hoppin? Damn that boy swallowin...
LA's like Peyton, due to poor management u lost that 'cult' following!
It's ongoing legends that feel threatened ..worry u wack bitch...
So if I say I apologize, it's between ur shoulders I bury-the-hachette!



REPRESENTING
VIS MAJOR
NIGMA



How the fuck should I start this thing…
Um, it’s not too warm this morning so…
I gotta torch and scorch em, keep releasing more endorphins
Gotta chop my competition like the lords of warring swordsman
Gore you till your core is warm as hugs and kisses or loves ellipses
The struggles in the subtle bliss you have to achieve
Advancing from catching Z's to crashing sleep. Smashing dreams like caffeine seen in arabica beans
And the raptures complete when the sun eclipses
I’m like the Luxor Sphinx, fronting sin.. While you butlers bring my luggage in
I’m cutting off my fingers, tryna count the fucks I give
My flow is hydrogen colliding.. CERN.
Lightning strikes as I write this cypher verse with more righteous words than Christs rebirth
I’ve got the pride, allure, and alignment of lions luring the lives of vermin to dine and serve
It’s higher priced per word than diamonds, pure as hymen birth. I desire first
Frightened by the sight of silver like a life immersed in lycan fur
I’ve got a smooth tongue and I’ll bite his work, providing a third recitement to finally earn it the shine deserved
My IQs higher than Vicodin and rising like the climate crisis we fight with fervor
Inside my mind while flying earthly skies I know you’re like the writers version of flightless birds
Your kind is worthless



CHAIN


I’ll baptize my flow in Baltimorean flames
‘fore it gets out of hand like Scorpion’s chain.
More than deranged, I played Corleone games
Strong, and calmly I could chloroform Bane [Dang!]
Bars, I be fighting them the Cormier way
Puns push the point like corkscrews through brains.
Hammers gon’ bring order like courtroom debates
Turning long nosed liars into swordfish soufflé.
A morbid display of a force on L.A
The foreign exchange student formally named [CHAIN]
From the aught school so unusually dope…
That dudes in the know think he’s Jordan on base [HEY!]
I’m different like autopsies on corpses of greys
Deliver like my timing has stork DNA.
Laying down the law in ‘bout 48 ways
For grown ass men calling shorties their ‘bae’.
Effortless, YES, I’m the source of dismay
It’s "none of the work with all the glory" they say.
Fuck it, the rich will let the poor ones donate
Business over bitch shit, ORG’s the domain.
The ordained preacher with assorted arrays…
Of truths which he drops just like a porcelain vase.
A porcelain vase from the Victorian age
I’m the reason the folks at the morgue need a raise.



BEANS



I FUCKIN SAID!....
My spits provoke a sickening cult that been killin since ya text game birth'd
My fist's a grope & grip ya throat till u choke worse than ME in my Ch3kkgame verse
Yet I'm a test when scoped, y'all vets take notes as my verbal machete sway
& I protect n hope that u left dead & smoked till there's no background check like Freddie Gray

AAAH FUCK IT!..
I start my DAY wit MISSION BONDS that'll shoot into ya heart wit a fist
....Facts
those trolls^^ got more pillar strength for an Empire than DOOM, BARKER & BLISS
Start wit a quit! Before thinking U can dance wit Beans in text, bitch
Cos like nervous prom chicks who been on dick? U'll be found in a dumpster ...dead kid!
My textual tactics crack ribs, u faggits get bodied yo
Ya bangin crew? I'll hang them dudes, so stop the jokes
The 2's blast, go Boom Bap! Cos "text gotta go"...
I'll scar child of Sharp Styles as this text head beat 1 of yours in audio
Hoe run! I'll cut u ya fuck dude & you'll prolly elope one
Faggot "BBoy" think u Poet S'Why you'll get a bo-son
Loading songs the only harm u seem tough & Buffer
So from America to you, Fuck you Cunt & Go fuck your mother!

***deep breath***

My hyper stance be lighting hand speed, so faggots quit
Y'all dandy diapers & diaper dandy cos y'all bags of shit
Attack'm quick, a drug addict who Smackin wrist till my head gets lift
Or in chats killin cats gettin drunk wit Elite, EX & Tits
This hot skill like pepper seed to the nostril & you'll drop light
My punches put a hit on more dudes than Amber Rose in the spotlight
What I makes great, ya only flames grate so die for hates sake
Cos u know I'm harder than EX when he reading articles on deflate gate!
Peace





....



.....

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2015 at 7:54pm
Fuck yes
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2015 at 9:49pm
BANG!!!

Pure heat fellas!

Imma break this down later...

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2015 at 11:37pm
Brenn - cool drop man, smooth verse despite the intense rhyme scheme. What I would say is sometimes felt like the rhyme was jammed in there (from a content POV rather than flow, as it never jarred the line)...other thing I'd say is I'd probably try and go a bit higher quality on the multis rather than slam a whole load of simpler ones in there. To make yourself stand out, especially in a collab like this you need to bring something extra to the table. So while I liked what you wrote I wouldn't be like WOW at any point & I think that's the difference.

Triz - this was nice, I liked the attitude and that bristled through the verse...internals when you used them were nice, accentuated your impact. I really liked that Bruce Jenner line, that was clever. Rest of the punches lacked that extra zing about them, I liked the way you worded them...had that venom in delivery, but conceptually nothing in that that made me go WOW. But you've got the fundamentals down, just need that iron.

Nigs - lol. Love your style, rolling over a concept with multiple multis, heavy hitting. Lords of warring swordsman I dug, liked the caffeine line too, and the fucks I give (that was a dope counterbalance). Even the climate crisis was a dope example of what you can do. Standard criticism applies, I'd like to see you force yourself to a fixed form, so you'd have to roll the multiplier effect over a couple of bars rather than one elongated runaway train. Think that would sharpen you up even more and just make the style ridiculously vile. Personally I think you must have that ability, think you're just being a bit lazy and going "fuck it I'll just rhyme it all out in one big line". I can see why you do it to be fair, in a way, why restrict yourself...but I think you could really make it razor across an entire verse & be Chain level with your own unique style.

Chain - Scorpions chain, you mother fucking baller...wish I'd thought of that!! Your references and the way you deliver them are just so raw, it's like you just flick the switch and automatically fire out a bunch of razor metaphors. Shots at Scotty were flame. Loved the closer too. All round dope verse man.

Beans - similar to Triz, I liked the attitude you brought in this...opener was funny, later on I liked that BOOM BAP line too. I think you should've compressed the line length a little at the start, just felt syllable heavy that you naturally compressed towards the mid point of the verse. Sure you could've chopped down the lengths of those lines in the first half and still delivered what you wanted to. Think you lost a little of that heat until the end with the deflate line and the Amber Rose one. Overall I think you just need a bit more concentration / consistency, or maybe not to half ass it as much? I'd like to see you really nail it right across the verse, you get some clever shots off but then sometimes you're a bit jabby and flow could be smoother. So mixed bag really.

Overall, it was cool...enjoyable read, I liked Chain and Nigs verses the best, but everyone brought something to the table, so props.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Beans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2015 at 12:45am
Cuba - thanks for that feedback man. U nailed my verse. I keyed that at separate times been mad busy. These guys brought some heat so I wanted to get this up asap. Good looks man
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2015 at 1:39am
I'm a give some proper feed monday. By the looks of it, there is alot to feed from

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2015 at 4:12am
By the way...Beans...props on puttin this together and reachin out.

I dug how we each dropped how ever many barz we wanted to. Came out cool, gave an actual dope cypher feel. Giving a breakdown next...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2015 at 4:41am
Very dope collab!!! 

Tre was dope dude the wp and punchlines you brought were smooth and a great change of pace from how i started the thing...

Nigma.... you surprise me with every drop... you have a twisted view point on shit with a flow thats perfect you tied the whole thing together...

chain.... you had a topic and a point that was easy to relate too and you executed it with perfect flow and great punches...

Beans... you went in.

seriously you went in.

it was raw it was real it was dope!!! the whole thing tied in so well!!

great work!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote nomedic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2015 at 9:20am
Jbrenn

I liked your approach here usually in cyphers you expect alot of self hype but this was slightly different the schemes were great maintaining that throughout the verse how ever i agree with Cuba on somin he touched on i feel in a collab like this you couldve brought abit more heat nice read regardless

Trizzy

the dead poet line and the Bruce Jenner were my favourite punches your whole verse was pretty much what you'd expect in a cypher punches swinging nice flow and end schemes and some superb and clever word play i have been reading your drops for a while and i think you got this style in the back of your head its your thang now challenge your self by adding somin new just in the delivery content wise and with the punches you got thats always dope so as your usual drops but try and switch isht up dope drop


Nigma

I'd advice you to switch up your style but this verse was outstanding for real the subtle bliss/sun eclipses. call back was like a fusion of aesop rock and crookid I, hot your vocab and metaphorical ability is always a matter of class once again and sick drop

Chain

that scorpion line was too clever the wording was mad tight and the stock line i like how you carry a facet of variety in your drops there was a sense of seriousness and @ the same time humor and the delivery was crisp and sharp sick shit

Beans

your drop looked like an audio verse from a live battler the vibe it had was all aggro from start to finish
some of the ammo was directed @ the wrong places like Bliss for instance i aint seen him in ages but sone of the punches here had me laugh for real and yourdelivery had everything id want in a verse dope multis and nice content


over all this collab was fresh the various styles complimented eachother and i was impressed doooooope
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2015 at 2:43am
Brenn, you fully focused on inners and schemes..shit was smooth the whole way through. You kept it on point.
Killed this:
Now he's like meeting Meth blessed by a deaf psychotic priest...
Iconic feasts test his chest breath filled with microscopic beasts...
^^^^.....dopeness

Nigma, first off this was one of my favorite verses of the piece. The first bar was pure comedy...then you went off bruh. Shit was crazy. The referances pulled were original and used some clever vocab and wording.

Gotta chop my competition like the lords of warring swordsman
Gore you till your core is warm as hugs and kisses or loves ellipses
The struggles in the subtle bliss you have to achieve
Advancing from catching Z's to crashing sleep. Smashing dreams like caffeine seen in arabica beans
And the raptures complete when the sun eclipses
I’m like the Luxor Sphinx, fronting sin.. While you butlers bring my luggage in
^^^^^.....this was flames


Chain, you always bring that effortless flow and delivery of a verse. Its impressive how it comes off, in the text game that's tough. You're concepts always stay fresh its insane. Good to see you still got it...lol jus playin bruh


Beans, I actually liked how you pieced your cypher verse together. Everyone droppin their own amount of barz and yours stood out man. It seemed to be different verses wrote at different times, but it worked. Really gave it a cypher feel and your intro pause between each kept it on point.



Well done fellas, glad to be part of it...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2015 at 4:40am
Thanks for the breakdowns everyone, i should have my comp running in the next few days so expect some feed from me soon
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2015 at 7:14pm
Brenn - The tongue twisting ability you showed in the latter half of your verse was pretty cool.  I stumbled through it at first but going over it again to get it perfect made it well worth it.  I think that you really can put together a verse with some nice rhymes.  Wishing for something longer from you but not a bad opener to the collab.

Trizzy - Your verse screamed "confidence through the roof" to me.  That Biggie Fan line was raw! Started off in the set up with some creative multis then finished it off with a hard punch.  Moment of silence line was sick, liked the little shot at Smooth. Jenner line was tough too.  Overall your verse really came off strong.

Nigma - I love how rhyme words.  I've said probably too much at this point and how you pull from different angles to make a concept work.  I will criticize on this that, to me, your flow was everywhere.  & I think that is due to your extremely long lines.  Normally, I have no problem with them but in this drop it wass all over for me.  The lyrics were very nice in this shit though, kinda made up for it.  Feel like you dont give a shit anyway, I like that shit.

Chain - That Scorpions Chain line doe.  Bruh that Swordfish Souffle line was raw.  I always say your delivery is literally the best on the site.  Just dig your style bruh.  As true Chain style you kept the multis through out the verse without letting the content suffer.  Verse was pure flame.

Beans - TBH you touched on a lot of subjects.  You came with aggressiveness which we've all known you for.  You had like an accapella SMACK type of battle vibe.  Which I think is why it seemed wordy? Idk if I'm even close with accurate feed right now.  The content though, was typically Beans as well LOL Touching on current issues in the masses and online.  Concepts and punches were good as well.  Props on getting this collab together 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2015 at 8:00pm
Thanks scripts. I wrote and formatted my verse on my phone so i can see how itd come off with more lack of fucks than usual. Got a verse i just started late last night that im gonna be strict with my syllables.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2015 at 10:28pm
Thanks everyone. I love collabing on a major piece like this.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Beans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 12:07am
@nomedic
your drop looked like an audio verse from a live battler the vibe it had was all aggro from start to finish
some of the ammo was directed @ the wrong places like Bliss for instance i aint seen him in ages but sone of the punches here had me laugh for real and yourdelivery had everything id want in a verse dope multis and nice content

That's why I was saying day dizz mission and bonds would have been better than barker bliss. Just a diss. Lol

Thanks for the feed everyone
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote nomedic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 6:39am
my bad beans
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Illadel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 7:51pm
Posting from my phone so I don't feel like using quotes but I Will give some feed quickly

Brenn you had a dope flow all the way through particularly at the beginning
The line that stood out most to me was thepouring liquor in the street that was dope.

Tre I think you killed everything from the moment of silence line on you were getting at em and that bruce jenner line actually made me lol

Nigma crazy verse had quotables all over the place not to mention Imo you had the hottest line in the cypher with that werewolf line that shit was crazy

Chain again like I said about nigma lotta quotables the scorpion line the swordfish line the young thug line and I loved the way you worded the vase line dope

Beans I like how you snapped at the end even though some lines went over my head because some things you spoke about were before my time here crazy verse nonetheless I liked how you poked fun at yourself in the beginning as well

All in all dope cypher love to shit like this hope yall do another...that is all






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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 8:46pm


JBRENN - Your assonance tones and flow was pretty good. You also used some pretty nice internals and
multis as well. The problem i have with this verse is that it makes little sense when i read it. I dont
see substance nor do i see a concept/concepts being flung out there. I will break it down bar by bar to
show you what i am talking about


1st bar
Im not getting this. I tried to get an understanding
on what your saying but its not clear enough.

2nd bar
Im trying to make sense of a character nethertheless
a sense of what you are trying to announce

3rd bar
The last line was just words put together and didnt
make any sense either

4th bar
This made some sense and i got where you were going with this.


5th bar

Im not understanding the correlation between the bars/lines well.
At this point i feel like you started to just rhyme for the sake of it.
I suggest you take more time and think of some concepts to keep the
readers more entertained. Substance is also another thing i would work on.
Anyone can put a bunch of rhymes together and make it sound cool. What i like
to look for is substance, a message, content and flow. This whole verse means
nothing. You had no concepts and seemed to be a rabbling of words.

 

 _______________________________________________________________________________


TRIZZY TRE - You came with the delivery and the flow. You can tell your
a battle type writer. I see alot of things that i dont like and some things
that i do. First thing i like is the flow and the multis used. The things
i dont like i will break it down.

BAR1
The last line was generic and was poorly executed. I think you could
have gotten more creative with this. Instead it fell short and
the end rhyme was slanted too much. Threw off the deliver for me.
The first line could have been worded better to up the flow.
There was alot some words that could have been left out or
reworded

BAR 2
This was pretty good. You need to rearrange your words to
keep your delivery hitting. This was a nice concept but
i think you could have been more creative. You lack creativity

 

BAR3
The setup was nice till the middle. you went from smooth tounge's biting
to something completely different. I questioned that. Also your last bar
had little to do with the setup. This fell short

BAR 4
This was actually nice. I enjoyed this bar here. Relevant and
the was followed through

BAR 5/6

You had some wordplay in this verse and some concepts but i think you
could have came more with creativity. I read your shit everytime and
it seems like the same Trizz shit with nothing changing excepts the
words. You lack creativity and diverseness. I suggest you switch up
you shit and start trying new schemez, delivery, concepts.
 


 ________________________________________________________________________________

Nigma


i cant break this down bar for bar because its not structured well and some bars pour into the next
set. You do a run on flow that doesnt work at all on a beat. So when i was trying to catch a beat, this
didnt work out so well. Its nice to read this because its neverending with some flow but the problem is
that your not actually writing for a rap. This comes off very spoken word and weird. Your concepts are dope…
and you metaphors were nice as well. You also had alot of assonance that helped with that weird flow. I suggest
you try and write with a beat in mind and start being more strict on how this sounds when your spitting it
on a beat.

________________________________________________________________________________
CHAIN
I would criticize this but i really cant. This was
literally one big mashed multi lmfao. I like your
concepts in here and defo like the way you place your
wording. You have also used alot of nice metaphors but
didnt rely on them for your verse. This was nice. Flowed
well on a beat

__________________________________________________________________________________
BEANS

You came with the grimey battlefield verse with a punchline
feeling and delivery. I am confused on alot of your lines/bars.
I will break this down to the best of what i can do.


bar1
This was good for the most part. I liked the flow starting off. What catches my eye
is "my fists a grope". I think you just used groped to add to the flow and add another
internal. That made no sense and through the delivery of your punch out the window. Still
nice diss towards yourself.

bar2
Again, "TEST WHEN SCOPED". This is stuff that throws me off. I dont like it. It seems to be filler
for flow. I want to know how you set this up and finished on Freddie Gray? There was not subsance to this

bar3
This was pretty nice. Not because my name was in there but you kept to a concept and
you didnt shoot words into your lines for rhymings sake.


bar 4
Not feeling this. You could have easily tied the setup with the punch alot better.
You had a concept i believe but didnt tie them together clearly enough

bar5
This was statementish and so far none of your concepts/punches
are following and transitioning throught to the next line/bar

bar6
Relevant and i think this was your best punch yet. Problem is that
you had hate votes against mission. Only reason you won that battle

bar7
This was whack. I didnt understand it and the flow was
chopped to shit


bar8
EHH, I chuckled here. First line made no sense


bar9
Lighting hand speed? Whats that mean? Your punch was irrelevant
to your setup and vise versa


bar10
"smacking wrist"? That throws away all of this


bar 11
Setup should have stopped at nostril. The rest made no sense and
again took away the effectiveness AND THE PUNCH MADE NO SENSE


BAR 12/CONCLUSION
Last bar was garbage. I think you need to step back when writing and
take a look at what you put out. This wasnt good. You used too many
fillers and added words that completely threw away all of the deliverance.
There is alot of things in here that could have been worded better. Alot
concepts that could have been created more effectively. What i saw you
taking an idea and mushing rhymes together to get it to sound good.
I saw one clear punch. I think you need to also work on setups connecting
and punches leading off a new setup. To keep the flow and deliverance going.
This whole verse made no sense.

Overall - This was a shame. Chains had a great verse and Nigma had a pretty good one

Edit- had to fix the layout


Edited by daydizzle89 - 14 May 2015 at 9:04pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Beans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 9:30pm
Lol. Thanks for your feed
1-2 Season 1 Final Champ
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 9:54pm
Originally posted by iLL ScriptureZ iLL ScriptureZ wrote:


Trizzy - Your verse screamed "confidence through the roof" to me.  That Biggie Fan line was raw! Started off in the set up with some creative multis then finished it off with a hard punch.  Moment of silence line was sick, liked the little shot at Smooth. Jenner line was tough too.  Overall your verse really came off strong.



thanks bruh, you know I'm just keep in the blade sharp ha

I knew you'd enjoy that biggie line.. that's your type of shit lol


Respect to all that dropped feed and took time to read this...
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