Open Mic: Superficial Mad Linguistic Multi-Braggadocious

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Ridley Squat View Drop Down
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    Posted: 28 February 2016 at 10:54pm
Sup faggots! I've made some words rhyme with some other words. Fucking check it y'all!


Yo!

I've walked out free
each vault I've been
in Fallout 3
with just the spork I eat
my pork n' beans
from the school canteen
and for a small agreed call out fee
I'll walk and leave, not cause a scene
I stormed the beach at Normandy in '43 ...
then bought some brie for my daughter's tea
... yeah I'm that sort of G! ...
... I'm sorta nastee! ...

I stormed the Basti(lle) with a Cornish Pasty
threw prawns & scampi at the Tour-de-France team when they cornered past me
like Gordon Ramsey - how I'm always angry
make Foreman's dad seem - like Orphan Annie
fuck the Law's of Harry
the whole Morgan family
I'll leave your organs danglin'
and make you call a taxi ...

... and still the law can't catch me ...
cos I'm faster than lightning
and darker when rhyming
than half of the clients
of Arkham Asylum
got the heart of Poseidon
out sharking for sirens
with the last of the Titans
on the barbs of my trident
I'm remarkably violent
but in class I be silent
just the mask I'm behind
tryna pass this assignment


shouts to Art and Orion

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TittySucker View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote TittySucker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 February 2016 at 11:45pm
i like the bit about gordon ramsey and how you be packing sporks
sporks are awesome
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Venomonology View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Venomonology Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 February 2016 at 3:57pm
not a bad little exercise, I much preferred the flow, feel and content of the 2nd part compared to the 1st since you started off just rhyming for the sake of rhyming, jumping from Fallout 3 to pork and beans to being involved in WW2, just felt messy.. the 2nd part had a more solidified feel to it though, particularly enjoyed:
 
I'm faster than lightning
and darker when rhyming
than half of the clients
of Arkham Asylum
 
thought that flowed incredibly well and was real creative too
 
keep it up man and next drop you I'd love to see you hold down a central topic / subject throughout the piece
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Exoduzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 February 2016 at 7:01pm
This was cool for non sense rhyming.   I use to do this type of shit all the time.  Id love to see some writing of yours that you too time to write.  I really enjoyed the second part of this more.  I really enjoyed the barbs of my trident.  That was dope.  Overall it was a cool little flow type piece

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 March 2016 at 8:26pm
lmao...fuckin, Ridley. aite aite we know u can rhyme, son lol! i've always love intricate rhyme scheme and this was fun as fuck to read. the nonsense just adds to the apathetic "cool" attitude of the verse lol. Good shit, yo. Hope u explore a more focused topic cause i can see u droppin some dope OM honestly


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Patient Zero Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 April 2016 at 6:58pm
Snap this was dope bro, for what it was. I personally didn't dig the rhyme chop halfway thru shoulda just kept it a mass multie... but thems just different apples. I really liked some of the crazy ways you went with it tho...I was digging that flow, you should try some paragraph rhyming and getting a little bit heavier on the schemes, you could drop some mad shit brah.
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Raskit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Raskit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 April 2016 at 7:59am
"I stormed the beach at Normandy in '43"

Normandy invasion was in 44 bruv.

You can't change history just to fit your flow. Not than I'm suggesting you did, lol.....
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Ridley Squat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 April 2016 at 9:15am
Originally posted by Raskit Raskit wrote:

"I stormed the beach at Normandy in '43"
Normandy invasion was in 44 bruv.
Good lad! Glad you brought that up. I was always ready to justify this particular point!
Yes, D-day as it played out in 'your' reality was 6th June 1944, but they started planning it in 1943, so in the reality I am suggesting here is, fuck a plan, I went off and did it all on my own... so 1943 makes more sense. Hope that helps.

Originally posted by Raskit Raskit wrote:

You can't change history just to fit your flow.
And yeah you totally can!


The rest is true though


Thanks for the feed y'all
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Storm $hadow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 April 2016 at 2:54pm
Not much time to comment but i could twist the effect of that '1944' though. In reality, it was done in '1944', right?(i don't know about it though) but if you did it in '1943', it could also mean you were ahead or you murdered time there.
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