Open Mic: Wrath of the Titans(collab)

Levy420

Levy goose an manc zooming past kids check this relay
Slicker then the dribble skill of Memphis depay
doomed to death n decay we dropping bombs like D day
Monstrous melay fire nepalm the neh says
Play safe,just vacate,better say grace, simp minds stay novice
Our Vision illustrate's ancient alien prophets 
Clock ticks, Knowledge an wisdom extends Beyond   nastradomus
A monster? Nonsense!!, stupid shit pants dipped full a soil
Put it proper you ain't saying shit slick to a can of oil
Royale, got enough bars to pack a surplus, hard for wack cats to surfuce
get left in the dust, ya strut leave you more exposed then chris jones nuts
That crushes enormous, Plot boils Ex n nigs added to the pot scheme crazy
Comatoast a Overdose n flatline more times then that lil Wayne lady
Insane maybe? Controlling land,sea an underground Simultaneously now
Shame me how? im a descendant of zues Poseidon an Hades. WOW!!!!!!!!


Bro Goose

Got a clip full of one liners, my punchin's relentless like I'm mixed part pistol or pump,
Been known to ruin young writers and slump an apprentice like quick dismissal's from Trump!
I'm swiftly bench'n a Gump,shrimply chumps quit'n before you even begin to stand,
I'm tell'n you man, you'll need to invest in knees when I leave you look'n like Lieutenant Dan!
Win with either pens or hands,but I aint about to slap it out cuz im not a fag or dike G,
It's a bad idea to fight me, I'll slap you down like you're Pacquiao getting dropped fast by Nike!
Only time you grind it's with men, yur sweet stash works great for male facial slamming,
And I bet this guy's had more nuts on his chin then the college nurse for Peyton Manning!!
My hits stay landing, if it goes to blows then im slit'n throats proceed to bleed ima see them X'd,
who thinks they best, your flows wouldnt pass for dope after an overdose need'n machines to breath like DMX!
Let's see who's next, gone pissed N' aunory I'm a rebel soldior,
I'm more vicious than Sean Connery in the hunt for Red October!

Manc

It's fitting that my written is a part of a big piece
I'm like Alicia's man, always hard when I hit keys
carving up your slip stream with lines that you can't make
my words?, highly thought of - that's a sign that the bar's raised...
sat half baked but I'm hard faced & packing heat...
got all the alphas tails raised like a pack in heat...
go ask the team, I'm a fashion freak - dear taste!
I'll lock horns for Doe, just to see how the Deer tastes...
a feared name, you'll get ya jaw snapped for talking trash
on your feet, how ya gonna 'Connor' me & walk the match?
I've honestly no want or need to bask in others glory
when my structure shows I'm level best'.. but that's another storey

Duzt

Of course I'm the usual suspect, but I stifle cops-
shoot angels down from the heavens with rifle shots-
And laugh while I do it, braggin' & Acting so putrid-
People claim to be shootin', but I'm the one who will actually do it!-
An open casket is useless, If you dont know why then the fact is your stupid-
Nah I'm just joking cus its all love, Exo is practically cupid-
But lately I'm an outcast cus It's been really hard to be honest-
Yeah rite! I got no problem bein' the one starting the carnage-
Harboring hard fists, and completely bombardin you martyrs-
getting nervous like you saw I'm a shark fin, charging thru waters!
Opponents? their carcuss is starving, cant beat me thats part of my warning-
I'm causing a storm when, crybabies are crying acting softer than Charmin-

Nigma

I’m packing heat….. 

I’m talking, dash your future ashes with a splash of super clean premium gasoline 

Squeezing a match between the padding of my clasping fingers.

 Watch it catch flame from scratching the magic sandy pad, it’s neat. 

Then the candid scene flashes, you vanish, drifted and spread anew. 

Legends often said I’m a timid but reckless dude. 

My only mention of different rulers are inches and metric fool. 

The pace I set’s like using interdimensional fueled vessels to trek and zoom in directions you’ll never move to. 

On deck with a vicious crew reppin weapons we fit to use any second you drifting to us. Never hesitant, the death is instant, wreckless bitches lose it. 

We’re leaving any clique that wishes to mess with Elision ruined.





      



Edited by Brotha Goose - 05 March 2016 at 11:11pm

Fuck it everyone else be sleeping on this so time to feed
Dude who opened this sucks an shouldn't write anymore fucking horrible!!!!

Goose
That gump shrimp set up to the lutenant Dan punchline was crazy so was the Peyton Manning u touched on pretty much all the recent events kind of looked opon as a dick move in a punchline collaboration u self centered piece of excrement

Manc
You came with the Witt that lpha tails line was sick so wasn't your level best line verry clever dropping wisdom here

Exodust
Multies were clean an that Charmin line was sick stood out the most in your verse but your opening lines really set the pace good shit

Nigma the metric ruler line was crazy

Over all thought this was a fresh piece stay up

this was a pretty hot collab.

first guy: I liked your approach. Decent material. I found your flow quite hard to follow sometimes and ended up re-reading the same line twice so I could understand. I feel that your awkward-ish wording is a playing a big part on not being as clean as you should be in terms of execution for your punchline style. My advice would be to clean up some unnecessary words and improve your rhyme scheme consistency a bit.

gooseguy: your rhyme schemes and structure was more consistent. So props on that. But just like the first guy there's a stiffer flow to follow here. I don't know if y'all were just going freeverse. You definitely picked up a nicer momentum as it progressed with some good punches. The peyton manning one was pretty tight. advice, don't come across so battle-ish.

3rd jew: I like you mang. you got a good flow, structure, scheme and multi's. Keep it up. Only criticism don't force that oronym shit with the pack in heat/ packin heat  - dear taste!/deer taste. Unless you got a real solid angle then I say use it because it can easily become one of those things that are mental "eye-rollers" if not executed properly.

Dussed: technically speaking, I feel that this and 3rdJew are the best verses of this cypher. Yours is definitely the soundest. Great flow, had no trouble reading this in one go. Execution through your lines was quite seamless. Criticism.. watch your forced rhyme scheme near the end. You transition 'waters' to 'warning'  and then 'warning' to 'Charmin'. Jusssssayin'

Nigma: What was this supposed to be. Flexing multisyllabics? Okay it had a seamless style and execution to it, but that's more audio wise and only audio wise would it be dope to hear.  Reading this visually was like what? None the less, it's an interesting style and approach that you have. Really unique but it's in the experimentation days still and you need to really nail that down with having your material down before your rhyme.


Edited by Nigma - 07 March 2016 at 4:39am

Damn

First up Levy I've been saying this bro big ups on the progress your delivery was great I like the alliterative opener and basically the effort you put in

BG

Bro the flow was hard to follow at first but I managed to grasp it the punches kept coming and overall this was some hard shit liked the pack nike line

Manc

I read your verse man youz a cocky fella but damn you do back it up though you were sharp and every punch landed
On a large scale the closer was straight up bad ass g

Duzt

Vet by my standards everything I'd expect and some graphic psychotic Violence and references I didn't exactly get that but more on the complex shady shit
Either way its always a lesson when reading your shit big ups

Nig

I've learnt to keep up with your amorphous style you at times remind me of Royce fused with a jus allah in terms of of technical shit and content but I been lying to my self dawg I can't keep up u just u man

Liked the collab fellahs sick shit no doubt

Levy - Great verse from you. I thought you had great usage of references for plays. The nostradomous was dope line, rolled of the tongue and worked. Chris jones bar was nice. That lil wayne lady line had me cracking up. Great way to start this off.