Open Mic: [OM King] Haunted Willow |
Post Reply |
Author |
Rating: Topic Search Topic Options
|
AshleyKaos
Standard Member Joined: 11 October 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2511 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 28-63-3 Form: LWLLNQ |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Posted: 13 March 2016 at 6:41pm |
nature is beauty that lies within danger Created by the essence of anger between stranger's Inner dark and light side's that collide sooner than later This begins human evolution generating lives tainted with pollution We people hold answers and solutions But natural instinct alters how we view this The reaper within us brings confusion by lies Disguised misery deceiving by pleasing our eyes We are defined by our envy and pride We will become wise overtime We just need to search for the signs Pointing to higher calibers of a population Such georgeous love in a world filled with hatred WIthin us all is a side that spurs inspiration Painting with palettes Colorful florescent with vibrance A dawn after war ending such violence Creating pictures worth momments of silence These two parts start hearts with balance Avoiding such evil presents a new challenge Our souls dressed as warriors that are gallant Few will be brave and some will not overcome The strong can't be undone but the weak become numb All these components add up to one sum That ill still stand when its all said and done Edited by Neek - 16 March 2016 at 1:48am |
|
NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
|
|
Hackusation
Groupie Joined: 11 March 2016 Status: Offline Points: 70 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
This verse is well written, the only thing I dislike here was how bar two didn't flow too well from the opening bar however everything else was solid in my opinion, there was a few spelling mistakes but that is only minor. My only advice would be to spell check your pieces a little more. I enjoyed the read, thank you for posting.
|
|
Jet Swade
Groupie Joined: 23 March 2016 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 75 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-2-0 Form: WLL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Good job on this I like your use of middle rhymes I only wished you would have used a word other than later (a word that completed the anger, danger, scheme) other that great piece right here very colorful words.
|
|
Post Reply | |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|