Open Mic: [OM King] Haunted Willow

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AshleyKaos View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 March 2016 at 6:41pm



nature is beauty that lies within danger
Created by the essence of anger between stranger's
Inner dark and light side's that collide sooner than later
This begins human evolution generating lives tainted with pollution
We people hold answers and solutions
But natural instinct alters how we view this
The reaper within us brings confusion by lies
Disguised misery deceiving by pleasing our eyes
We are defined by our envy and pride
We will become wise overtime
We just need to search for the signs
Pointing to higher calibers of a population
Such georgeous love in a world filled with hatred
WIthin us all is a side that spurs inspiration
Painting with palettes Colorful florescent with vibrance
A dawn after war ending such violence
Creating pictures worth momments of silence
These two parts start hearts with balance
Avoiding such evil presents a new challenge
Our souls dressed as warriors that are gallant
Few will be brave and some will not overcome
The strong can't be undone but the weak become numb
All these components add up to one sum
That ill still stand when its all said and done








Edited by Neek - 16 March 2016 at 1:48am
NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Hackusation View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Hackusation Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 March 2016 at 8:37pm
This verse is well written, the only thing I dislike here was how bar two didn't flow too well from the opening bar however everything else was solid in my opinion, there was a few spelling mistakes but that is only minor. My only advice would be to spell check your pieces a little more. I enjoyed the read, thank you for posting.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jet Swade Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2016 at 4:28pm
Good job on this I  like your use of middle rhymes I only wished you would have used a word other than later (a word that completed the anger, danger, scheme) other that great piece right here very colorful words.
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