Open Mic: [OM King] Betrayal

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Scotty32 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 22 March 2016 at 6:49pm


Our world was born, from day one transformed
to the world we know, by the miracles I performed
Discontent with life alone, myself I decide to clone
From clay became a drone, in my image man is grown
A paradise to call home, hills and valleys free to roam
Cared and nurtured, under my protective dome
House or feed, given whatever they need
I was oblivious to the evil seed, growing like a weed
A benevolent being, only gave them one rule!
But to think they'd follow? Only made me a fool
Satan's awake, manifested as the slithering snake,
Despite the heartache, I was forced to forsake
Those I supported and raised, created and celebrated
Now frustrated by their hatred, as evils infiltrated
Paradise vanished and humanities tarnished 
Cast and banished, my wrath is savage 
Tricked and deceived, by evil beasts the lies are conceived 
Mankind’s reality perceived, just an Illusion believed
Battlefields drawn with Devils spawn 
Hope forgone, as Man becomes a pawn
Despite eating the forbidden and sidin with the villain
The shadows I remain hidden, to save those evil stricken


Great and Glorious Supreme Presidential Leader of the People's Democratic Republic of LA
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Neek View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2016 at 2:42pm
this was pretty good..ive told you the particulars mostly.


I did think that you had several outs. a plot twist where you wrote this as Scotty_32 and the heathens you spoke of are the worthless scum that is your user base. at the same time tho...you did the picture justice. a couple hiccups in the flow but it certaintly got better as it progressed, where typically people hit a certain peak and either rush the piece or plummet heavily..this built nice.


keep up the good work fella and God bless.
#Bananas
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Jet Swade View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jet Swade Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2016 at 7:22pm
I really enjoy how this is sculpted as it draws a picture life /creation/ possibly birth and demise.
 This was my favorite line really dope wording 
Mankind’s reality perceived, just an Illusion believed
Battlefields drawn with Devils spawn 
Hope forgone, as Man becomes a pawn
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2016 at 4:34pm
This is the best open mic LA has ever recorded Scotty. You are the master. i pray towards the North East every night because you are the holy one... the creator. Ok, enough with the ass kissing and let me break this down brothaman.

Nice topical piece here. This verse moved right along at a rather fast piece. I think its because of the simplicity (which isnt a bad thing). Your wording his really concise and nice as is your vocabulary here. I also liked the way this Satan asshole tried fucking you over and your like nah you dont, im just hiding in the background ready to sucker punch the fuck outta satan and his pawns. Thats dope shit right there. Overall i think this was a pretty nice piece Scoots. Like i have said numerous times. Keep writing you assnugget. Good work


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