Open Mic: Gambino-"The Older I Get" |
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Gambino 
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Joined: 31 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 196 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-4-3 Form: LNNLLN |
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 Topic: Gambino-"The Older I Get"Posted: 01 April 2016 at 8:15pm |
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It seems the older I get
The more that's unsaid Now-a-days nobody know what to expect Whether your living in a house-or outside shiv'rin to death So now you searchin for a little ounce of respect Trying to find a single bullet in this game of roulette Never lacking a moment- Walking back and forth until you find a crack in the road and Trying to find a way around without your path getting broken They say a star never fades? Well that's a hell of a statement Cause lots of talent goes to waste because they lackin the patience Let's face it... Everyone wants to be famous and known Take a place on the throne-but never wanna face the trials that put stains on their soul Wanna be shameless-wanna claim that they can make it alone We went from Hall of fame to Wall of shame its heinous I know And still the greatest of feats? To walk a mile in the shoes of someone you think you can be To prove everybody wrong that's been doubting your speech And weigh you down to prove that you won't make it out of the streets The older I get...ha...the more I seem to hate where I'm livin So I'll just sit inside this notebook and continue my scribblins |
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 01 April 2016 at 8:41pm |
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Well this was a decent piece,like the way you captured the
daily strife ppl feel and want,thinking the grass is greener that there's something better,I also liked the part where you take comfort from your scribbles,although the topic has been done countless times,I still got the feeling it came of as a fresh verse,struggles are struggles,that I believe makes and forms character,all in all a decent drop,the only thing holding this verse back is mechanics,but that will come soon, good work....peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Slip
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Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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Posted: 01 April 2016 at 10:49pm |
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i agree with what crimson stated you captured the concept pretty well Now-a-days nobody know what to expect Whether your living in a house-or outside shiv'rin to death So now you searchin for a little ounce of respect Trying to find a single bullet in this game of roulette this got the message across with a nice flow ^^^^ Everyone wants to be famous and known Take a place on the throne-but never wanna face the trials that put stains on their soul Wanna be shameless-wanna claim that they can make it alone these few lines were dope "face the trials that put stains on their soul" nice this was a decent read keep'em commin
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Exoduzt
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NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 02 April 2016 at 12:12am |
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See this was much much much better than the last OM of yours I commented on. You slowed down your scheme so to speak. This did not seem as rushed what so ever as compared to your last one. Damn dude for real theres still some things you need to work on but you def flipped the script on this one. Your flow was so much better in so many different ways. The concept was cool. You executed this very nicely. I am really impressed with this.
keep doing your thing and keep finding your own style. This was a vast improvement from your last work. I'm glad to see you improving. keep doing it
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Gambino
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Joined: 31 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 196 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-4-3 Form: LNNLLN |
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Posted: 02 April 2016 at 12:20am |
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Thanks man appreciate the feedback from all of you.I'll be sure to repay the favor.
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nomedic
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Joined: 11 January 2014 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 1578 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-25-0 Form: WWLLWL |
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Posted: 02 April 2016 at 10:27am |
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The content here was relatable due to me perceiving it as universal a lot of the aspects hit home and I see you have good audio feats I could see by the lyrics the flow was consistent structure needed alil more work I say but overall this was good keep it up
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