Open Mic: Gambino-Letter to LA |
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Gambino
Groupie Joined: 31 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 196 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-4-3 Form: LNNLLN |
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Posted: 11 April 2016 at 8:12pm |
I'm gifted....
I think I can honestly say it Then it hits me-My skill is sadistic Because every moment I sit in this notebook-i feel like I'm lifted Prodigious-In my own right but always stuck with the fishes Swimmin-it seems like no one is feeding my pieces Although-Their are some people I can always find critiquin' Crimson,Stalin,Smooth,nomedic I thank you all for believin Its disheartening to look see the same people feeding All the people who only do it when it only helps them through But to be honest I was like that when I first came here too Expecting feed from vets instead of feeding them so i can eat soon Shout out for Crimson who feeds all who approach the pool So when he posts another verse I want everyone to repay this dude Because he fed us before he fed himself now that's the the definition of selfless Let's admit it this is thing all we have to retreat when times are helpless So if you help someone get better...that's like saving a life- And that reward is endless.... |
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Don't sleep on a peasant who is soon to be King
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Why thank you my friend for the shout out,and for it to be
in your verse was quite flattering really,as I consider you a near complete article,anyways really thanks,yeah you did have a nice concept here,which you did well to run with thought your drop,it.stayed on course like a horse on a race track,and to keep it there,isn't easy to do without internals too,as I said before in your OM'S,your feeling to you are an asset,that.you always bring to a verse,again well done and again thanks...peace |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Slip
Standard Member Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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this was the truth put so smoothly
you put into rhyme form what alot of people are thinking \ seeing here on L.A these days Its disheartening to look see the same people feeding All the people who only do it when it only helps them through But to be honest I was like that when I first came here too Expecting feed from vets instead of feeding them so i can eat soon Shout out for Crimson who feeds all who approach the pool So when he posts another verse I want everyone to repay this dude Because he fed us before he fed himself now that's the the definition of selfless Let's admit it this is thing all we have to retreat when times are helpless was really into this part^^^^good work shedding some light on this topic hopefully this spikes a little change and we see some more people with that crimson attitude get involved and feed some work |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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So, yeah, I'm not gonna give this a bar by bar breakdown but rather feed the entire thing.
I liked the opener and how you switched it to your pieces not being fed. I'm partially to blame for this, I haven't had much time to feed. I do check every drop that gets posted, though. I'll try to drop feedback regularly again. During the middle of the verse I think you hit the nail on its head. People feed because they want to receive feed. There isn't much wrong with this, but it kinda sucks when that's all that people do. I hardly drop anything but try to feed as much as possible because it really helps people. Not saying that everyone should do what I do and that I'm perfect or whatever, but yeah. You get it. All in all, I enjoyed this drop because truth has been stated.
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#Bananas
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AxyRocker
Standard Member Joined: 16 November 2014 Status: Offline Points: 1297 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-40-1 Form: LLLLWL |
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I don't have access to my pc right now, so can't really give it a breakdown, but It was flow wise better as compared to some of your other verses. Though you should try and add a bit more consistency flow wise throughout all your verses, by the looks of it you don't seem new to all this , looking forward to see more of your work some true stuff here, shout out to crim for doing a good job and respect for recognizing his effort
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