Open Mic: Ultimate Vow |
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Just Belief
Groupie Joined: 03 June 2016 Location: L.A County Status: Offline Points: 54 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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Posted: 05 June 2016 at 3:09am |
Raising the Fated, Erasin the Hated,
But This Crazy Creation, To Amaze me with Fakein, It's Rasing the Nation, Trailblazing the Station, Too much to explain, BOO with a touch of tha pain, Who's crutch all in Vain? I paid dues crews remain, Same Game another Season, Blame Fame another Reason, Flames James Smothers Treason, Claim Names My Brothers Bees In, Like the WU, Be Insightful and True, Capture Mics in this Zoo, True Insight it shoots Thru, To The True Hip Hop Community, No Rhyme Flow Rip Shop gets Immunity Time to show the Tip Top of Unity, Vocal Lip Crop True to be, for you and me, It all comes down to this, We all die fall same ground of emptiness, Or does a ended stalled brain sound holyness? I recall my Strain and found the bliss, Paper Mate, It was a raper date, I maker hate, Cops are Laker Late, only now its how I allow the Music, Let it use me and how to use it how to muse it, A VOW TO NEVER LOSE IT
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Just Belief
Groupie Joined: 03 June 2016 Location: L.A County Status: Offline Points: 54 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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any constructive criticsm? was my first piece here, hit me.
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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First off,the.multis here were nice,made for an easy flowing read,
in fact the whole tempo of your verse was decent I liked it,and I was feelng the WU refrences here too,plus the whole verse with its subtleness,I kind of liked the struggles about time being served and to be fair,you displayed it here with this piece that you know how the structure and vocab goes in OM's,I also enjoyed the line lengths too,the main gripe I have is the length of this piece,but then I can be greedy..good drop..peace. |
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