Open Mic: "Poetic Justice" |
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alicewonder 
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Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
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 Topic: "Poetic Justice"Posted: 22 July 2016 at 10:32pm |
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Fuck a corny title and
some abstract patterns,
saw her story writing,
decided to put some facts that matter
to your bona fide –
it’s not only that her efforts stagger,
but to roar on idle -
like you owned that title - w/ bantamweight, huh?
crowned her Queen of
LA for her textual pleasure?
or was it her double
30 strike, cos it's “X with flatters”
I wonder Y then your
bloodlines spell without epsilon’s alpha
or was it for the lack
in grammar? (Guess Ash gotta catch ‘em all)
so you could defy the
odds in your records rankings..
Syn needs a rotten
apple, and if Adam’s is absent, Ashley’s is at it
let’s get this
straight, though - at least you’re a rapper “rapping”!
#syllabletagging, don’t
matter if your ad-lib’s rampant
developing character
traits on its own to adapt to basses..
or what else’s that
crack in my head phones.. I cannot fathom
unbelievable that you
still got faith in this shit with your maiden writtens
cos when Game
began, like Mandy Lane, you didn’t even make the listing!
That’s bow to the
queen – the jester is playing pretend quick sixteen.
Edited by alicewonder - 22 July 2016 at 10:42pm |
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Neek
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Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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Posted: 22 July 2016 at 10:43pm |
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I often wondered (no pun) if this was going to happen.
but to roar on idle - like you owned that title - w/ bantamweight, huh? crowned her Queen of LA for her textual pleasure? or was it her double 30 strike, cos it's “X with flatters” I wonder Y then your bloodlines spell without epsilon’s alpha or was it for the lack in grammar? (Guess Ash gotta catch ‘em all) so you could defy the odds in your records rankings.. Syn needs a rotten apple, and if Adam’s is absent, Ashley’s is at it let’s get this straight, though - at least you’re a rapper “rapping”! #syllabletagging, don’t matter if your ad-lib’s rampant fam? wildness. cant nobody say AW sneak diss tho. |
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#Bananas
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BIG GAME
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Joined: 16 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 4322 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-4-0 Form: WLWWLW |
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Posted: 22 July 2016 at 10:54pm |
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This is a nice diss.
I like the aggression. Nice closer too. Good way to dig up a personal and turn it in to something. I don't know it this is a response or shots fired But it'll be fun to watch it all play out Good shit. |
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 23 July 2016 at 1:42am |
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this was dope, but I much prefer you on that more poetic type/descriptive storytelling ish like in "the color gradient of past", that's more your forte.
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Exoduzt
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NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 23 July 2016 at 2:19am |
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I am sooo glad you stepped out ya comfort zone on this and fucking dissed someone. there is nothing wrong with increasing your talent as a writer. thats how I look at it. The more you step out the better writer you become. I may have missed it but maybe you have dissed someone before?. This was pretty on point. Flow I knew was gonna be there and it was for the most part. The punches were pretty on point and direct. your vocab is top tier and this pretty much was a solid diss. I see what Lord Puente is saying but thats not the case with me. I mean I love your poetic OM's but for you to diss someone and have some power behind it. I love it. Keep doing shit like this alice for real. It helps your all around writing game. expand ya mind!
good shit
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 23 July 2016 at 9:03am |
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Whoa,checkout Alice..
I liked this from you,surprised the shit out of me though as I never saw this coming,with that said I guess I should have,because one all female battle doesn't make a queen when there are more than 2 females, this was a good Diss,from a neutrals point it was Ripe,I liked the way you got at her here,direct and subtle with a little aggression thrown in,the blend was cute,my question to you Alice is why now and not before,I can see you would make a decent battler once you got a few under your belt,and I agree with Neek,it is good to step out of your comfort zone,because when you do step out at first you make a few mistakes,but mistakes is progress,this is weird,although I feel you have the right to challenge Ash about the queen business,I also feel with the diversity Ash brings as of yet it's justified,I.e.her audio's,her OM's as well as her battles,but with that said,I also feel you have a point as there are things you do well too,giving excellent feed which helps ppl to grow,dropping thoughs powerful scribes about life,so you go girl,now back to your drop,the tempo was good and content wise this was on point,your vocab came across as meaningful,all in all a good solid drop,plus it good to see a KK member stepping out too,as at this point all crew collabs and battles are coming from the new rejuvenated Syn crew,so good work Alice,keep that nib moving..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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alicewonder
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Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
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Posted: 23 July 2016 at 12:30pm |
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Thanks all, appreciate it.
@Exoduzt: Really glad you like it. This is the first time I've written this type of verse. And I totally agree, trying out different approaches can be interesting. @Crimson: I acknowledge that, Ashley's diversity is definitely her "strong" point. To answer your question (which is actually included in the first few bars here), I saw her complaining that she still hasn't received her title recognition on the main page, and after having read her battle, I found it amusing, to say the least. I did this for the fun of it. Thanks, though! |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator
Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Posted: 26 July 2016 at 8:24am |
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My bad Alice, been meaning to feed this but I didn't have a PC nearby.
Sheesh, you don't play around. Love how you immediately jump in punching.
This was vicious. The wordplay and abstract references towards chromosomes and Pokemon (ha!) we're really well done.
Dope personal shots here. Love the slant rhyme in the second bar and the hashtag. The more hashtags the better it is.
Been looking into Mandy Lane. I guess it's a movie character, right? It seems the movie remained unreleased for 7 years. It's dope reference to how Game didn't name Ashley in his verse and thus, a dope personal! Overall: Like Neek I always wondered (pun intended) what would happen when Alice took her silk gloves off. Remind me to not mess with you, heh.
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#Bananas
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 26 July 2016 at 1:23pm |
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Alice,
you went in with some nice aggression and you made alot of points during this diss. Not sure what the beef is about or if there is any but this was hella nice. The complexity of this peace is ok but that isnt needed because of the personals and content you had in here. unbelievable that you
still got faith in this shit with your maiden writtens
cos when Game
began, like Mandy Lane, you didn’t even make the listing! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ DEAD AS FUCK. Dope shit Alice |
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Sky Scrapur
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Joined: 21 October 2014 Status: Offline Points: 1133 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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Posted: 26 July 2016 at 9:23pm |
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Haha good diss Alice, now i wonder who is L.A's real queen.
Great job! |
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alicewonder
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Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
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Posted: 26 July 2016 at 9:34pm |
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Thanks guys, appreciate it!
Too bad that there hasn't been any reaction from her side, I guess.
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