Open Mic: Corvo Nero

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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 December 2016 at 9:01pm
Glimmering skies begin to bathe in my darkness
The blistering cries are laid as a carcass
Dismay is harnessed by the dead but not the living to die
Let me display the heartless with picturing lies
Different than mine are visions stained with hardship
This is demise, an imagine of pain & carnage 
I've prayed regardless of the sickening rides
That have made me carsick cuz of differing drive
Consider the time I let pass, wave to departed
I figured I'd find the pathway to the garden
That grave is a market to evil pitching to pry
A slave to the marksmen who's itching to try
To swallow whispering sighs, the rage is the starving
It feeds slithering slime that is the face of the Scarlet...
...Satan...
...Pacing...
...Waiting...
Fidget with lines laced in your garmets
It's Him in disguised with the grace of a darlin'
Touching the space like an artist, vivid as a mime 
Placed as a starlit with sounds of a wind drift to a chime
Acidic as liquid in a lime the tasting is harmless
My spirit is lifted to the sky in a basement of garbage
His patience isn't pardoned, I have a minute to just climb
And in this minute I experience a limitless design
Sitting just inside this prism that is addiction in a rhyme
'Til I realize I kill every written I provide







...EDIT: if a mod can fix my picture I'd appreciate it, Idk why it isnt working.
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daydizzle89 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2016 at 9:46pm
Dope opener. Nice grim type bars. The multi string with'n the internals made this flow like butter. Loved how you kepted internals and used them later in your end-rhymes. That helps dramatically with the flow. The assonance kicked cunts for breakfast while drinking Orange juice nd sparkling wine. The way you switched back and forth with schemes was sickening. another dope drop. I dont expect anything less from you. Dope work and my favorite Om Artist on LA.

Vocab - dope
Flow - dope
Internals -dope
Descriptiveness- dope
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spume corrupt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2016 at 10:10pm
Script's
You know I don't always got time for breakdowns and shit
Dope fucking read here man, you don't even need a mod to fix the picture,,,this was already art
Realy feeling the continued theme on this one, shit felt like a place As much as a piece

I'm thinking you took this one from conception to carcass
Effortless control with flow and delivery
Brilliant word choice and placement
Prob one of the most refined drops I seen you bring

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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2016 at 12:08am
Thanks Diz, that's high praise man to be anyone's favorite writer.

Spume I appreciate the feedback my man
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Sammy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2016 at 4:21am
first, elite, then rut, then venom now you. yall dudes planned this out or something??

ur quite the artist man. Going from cut throat bars like the ones from the multiple collabos done to beautiful poetic prism of the senses like this here. I first caught wind this weird dichotomous caricature during ur Bermuda Triangle piece where i was low-key going..."damn this dude's wording is fucking crazy"! Continuing the theme, i must say that the wording here was IMMACULATE!

Fidget with lines laced in your garmets
It's Him in disguised with the grace of a darlin'
Touching the space like an artist, vivid as a mime 
Placed as a starlit with sounds of a wind drift to a chime

 what?!! hell nah! this is some shit u'd read in novels, son! 

Oh and lets not forget about the fuck rhyme scheme. You chose to carry the long "I "sound and "eh" sound. The way it was wove was crazy. it dipped and dived, skimmed and skid...at point it seemed like it was left by the wayside but then it was brought right back up.....the moment you expected it! the understanding of inherent rhythm was so strong that it was almost like u predicted when we'll expect the rhyme to hit again and then bam...right on que. IMpressive work indeed man. good to have u blessing readers again. hopefully we'll see more soon. 


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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2016 at 9:33am
Sammy thanks for the kind words and feedback. It's appreciated
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2016 at 2:19am
Touching the space like an artist, vivid as a mime
Placed as a starlit with sounds of a wind drift to a chime
"Acidic as liquid in a lime the tasting is harmless
My spirit is lifted to the sky in a basement of garbage
His patience isn't pardoned, I have a minute to just climb
And in this minute I experience a limitless design
Sitting just inside this prism that is addiction in a rhyme
'Til I realize I kill every written I provide"

^So this is what you call "being in the zone"

Geezus, bruh

You twisted, turned, and bent each word with effortless command. Your scheme was a thing to behold and your wording was alway where it needed to be. You put this joint together like a puzzle. Every word fit in place perfectly. Also, I like the grim and gloomy, yet mystic and poetic atmosphere of this piece. Your brand of writing is signature at this point. There is a certain kind of lyrical language you scribe in that is uniquely yours. Trademark kind of stuff. Dope per usual.


Props!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2016 at 2:26am
Well, this was just incredible. The second section, which has been quoted already, is just full with brilliant word placements. I actually don't know what else to add as everything has been said already. I thoroughly enjoyed the subtle poetic tone you employed here. Thanks for sharing. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rameez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2016 at 6:20am
Pretty solid verse, couldn't find any flaws. It was a good read and you doing really great
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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2016 at 9:37am
Thank you all for the great feedback
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