Open Mic: [KOTM] Pulling Me Down |
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rhetorical
Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL |
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Posted: 05 January 2017 at 6:59am |
Topic: They call me crazy,but im only crazy for you baby Your once or twice a lady but I been thinking about us lately Like maybe there was something more than we were meant to be Carving your name inside my skin to show you what you mean to me Surrender me, eventually you’ll have to let me up to breath Im Smothered in your clutch, your greed, your every fucking need I bleed to free myself, escape this prison that you built Where im inflicted by your sickness constant sins and toxic guilt The silt and pillows stains describe this life I live in chains I can’t maintain this curse you plainly shoved inside my fuckin brain Am I insane, to fantasize a better life or circumstance Or just stand among a stance that we just dance around a chance You planted seeds in me, I watched them grow into a tree Every branch ’n limb I climb is breaking underneath my feet I need release, I need a break I need some time to stop and think But then I sink into your habit, every line or rhyme I ink For this polyp in my throat, or this cramp that hits my hand To this recluse that I become that they refuse to understand Im just a man, I must confess I cant let go am I obsessed Or just upset I cant express I just regret the day we met Or better yet, is this the end, I have to turn and let you go Or let you pull me down again . . another verse for you I wrote I love you Hip Hop Beat : Clams Casino - I Am God |
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The Law
Site Moderator God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
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This is fuckin' insane. I love it. I'll tell you right now I guarantee this is a top contender to win KOTM already and that's if anyone can top it. It'll most definitely end up on the classic list at one point or another. Aside from the fact that the beat was incorporated perfectly, both delivery and atmosphere, which is obvious since you dropped the audio with it as an added bonus. Just the emotion and feeling behind the lyrics were outstanding.
These couple of bars were top notch: "You planted seeds in me, I watched them grow into a tree Every branch ’n limb I climb is breaking underneath my feetI need release, I need a break I need some time to stop and think But then I sink into your habit, every line or rhyme I ink" Glad you made it over here, so I have another sick writer to read.... and listen too whenever you drop it on audio.
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Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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yeh this was very good. Better than any of the other rapped versions out there i've heard. Very strongly written and you executed it very well. I got a similiar feeling from the pic too and as far as this being beaten...i doubt it will. Props.
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#bananas
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Yeah, I gotta agree.
This is probably the winner right here. Unless one of the audio heads steps in and tries to out do you. But even then they'll be hard pressed to put out bar you. In any case, this was near flawless in every way that matters. Rhet, if you stick around long enough you're gonna end up the clear MVP for 2017. I'm almost tempted to jack ya style and do an audio version to this myself. But ... fuck it. You already murked it. Top tier. Peace... |
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Im not gonna even attempt this KOTM now. This was dope shit. Flow was dope, content was dope, concept was dope as fuck. 25 to life concept from Eminem i got out of this. Really crisp with the audio and defo a fresh breath of air here at LA. Dope shit my friend.
FTW |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Bro.
What? #bodied. |
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#Bananas
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3162 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Haven't got time to check the audio atm, but trust I will soon
Not gonna break this down either, but it's only time constraints holding me back Just wanted to say that I read this on my lunch break and was blown away Firstly, Subject matter, really works for me Secondly, Delivery, really works for me Thirdly, if that even a word G, I just love it when a seasoned writer finds his/her way to this forum Loved this read, looking forward to seeing more Respect |
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Sky Scrapur
Standard Member Joined: 21 October 2014 Status: Offline Points: 1133 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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It‘s amazing. The whole thing is amazing.
Lyrics be inspired and the audio makes it extra awesome cause of your killer rapping skill. I respect this. Dope |
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CHAIN
Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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I see you. And I accept your challenge. Don't think I'm familiar with your work but this one was a doozy. A top contender right here. |
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alicewonder
Standard Member Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
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Well, this was very, very impressive. It's an impeccable and very creative take on the picture provided. And the recording is just the icing of the cake, really. The tone and the atmosphere you created with your wording was just amazing. I know I'm kinda repeating what's been said already, but I just thoroughly enjoyed this. It's one of those rare pieces which you can always go back to and reread, standing the 'test of time', so to say. Great work.
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Yep I can only echoe what's already been said,so I won't waffle on,this was real nice,
a genuine contender,your becoming a real prospect at LA in the short time you've been here,I find myself actively looking for your alias as I do a few others,because I know it comes with a tag of quality,this was nicely done,not a fan of the beat though,but hey,i found I could easily overlook that,you delivery was ripe stayed on course like a race car on a track,well done man.. (nods head) well done indeed..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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rhetorical
Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL |
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thanks brother. just fyi, i didnt choose that particular beat. It was posted along with this months KOTM challenge.
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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^^lol my bad,still stand by the lyrics being delivered ripe though..peace.
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Point Blank
Superior Member Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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This was crazy, it's nice to come back through here and see some fresh talent. I can tell you're a seasoned audio head, the flow was smooth throughout and the content of the verse was dope. After you ended it with 'I love you hip hop' I had to read over the verse again and was like 'damn'. Always a sign of a dope drop - keep 'em comin man
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Amgin
Groupie Joined: 31 January 2017 Status: Offline Points: 140 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-3-0 Form: LLL |
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It flowed so well even without the beat. Awesome
Just listened to the audio aswell, beautiful Edited by Amgin - 31 January 2017 at 1:52am |
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