Open Mic: Slaying Snowflakes - Daydizzle / rhetorical |
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rhetorical
Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL |
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Posted: 14 January 2017 at 4:53am |
Daydizzle rhetorical The professional Vocalists November: the festival of socialists The snowflakes with their boastfulness "Trumps Tone is as atrocious as it gets" Their emotions get hit A bunch of puppets to the noble globalists Trump n the oval office "He a racist" Baseless attempts at being persuasive Want a job? Get out your parents basement your fearing his hatred? Yet protesting an apparent patriot Supporting a bitch who protected a rapist The Clinton Foundation is filled with corruption And for the Emails, it was Trump nd the Russians You fucking Kids can't handle a simple discussion Trump wins and your all about destruction A liberals mindset is wealth reduction yet the rich pay for 90% of the tax consumption Aint that something? Liberal logic, im crushing it Im clinging to my gun you punk bitch Its IN GOD WE TRUST YOU FUCKING LIBS A new age is coming with bliss The illegals are running to the fence Rushing to get back over the border Fuck the left and their new world order Liberalism is a mental disorder Abortion is placental horror They support Murder in trimester four Target allowing Trans through which ever door If you have a dick, your a man for sure Im a libertarian Asking Snowflakes for war Ill stone a flake, there is no place for Social Justice Fuck Michael Brown, Kate Jenner and homegrown Muslims an Illegal, Fuck ISIS, This place i call home is Republic Fuck a mullah, the double standard is troublesome When the bubble busts, Ill be waiting with my Muzzled
Guns O.k. They fabricate lies that Obamacares affordable You either stand with ‘them’, or your branded
‘deplorable’ Email servers in burn bags aint even searchable Then attack Russians for hacking your illegal terminals Lynch and Clinton positioned on a private plane Sipping champagne with their corrupt driven campaign Money funneled from the Middle East, a million at least While these evil beasts feed the Socialists regimes Three Thousand people dead in Chicago City streets Fake news repeats the same police shooting for weeks Protests turned looting to movements for sheep And Social Justice Warriors claim their fighting for
peace Black Lives Matter as long as the agenda gets set Keep your eye on All Lives while we go further in debt If you don’t accept it your labeled a bigot or racist Or just say its White Privilege as they spit in our faces We invade their space? When liberals bend the laws Got trans-MEN pissing next to little Jen in the stalls Now children can’t even say the pledge in the halls Without getting suspended or parents getting a call Fuck you all. . its time we took this country back Politically correct? (pfffff) you can kiss my dirty ass
crack Clinton commits perjury but Trump don’t have the
“temperament” Libs rally men and women to ban our second
amendment Meanwhile the borders are left opened or unattended While Muslim extremist plot their next fuckin Nine Eleven Ill never be a victim or bow to you snakes Or sell my own values to appease you snow flakes You’ll never take my guns or my love for this fucking
land United we stand UNITED. . we'll Make America Great Again! |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Wow can't believe I didn't see this earlier,my bad guys I must be tired or some shit..
The professional Vocalists November: the festival of socialists The snowflakes with their boastfulness "Trumps Tone is as atrocious as it gets" Their emotions get hit A bunch of puppets to the noble globalists Trump n the oval office "He a racist" Baseless attempts at being persuasive Want a job? Get out your parents basement your fearing his hatred? (some nice undertones here Dizzle,I'm feeling the vibe off this segment also,and the line about snowflakes had some ripe subtle imagery tagging along with it,all whilst making a valid point of view,i do enjoy me some political satire,(and these politicians do make it easy),I like how your stating the parody here nice touch..) Yet protesting an apparent patriot Supporting a bitch who protected a rapist The Clinton Foundation is filled with corruption And for the Emails, it was Trump nd the Russians You fucking Kids can't handle a simple discussion Trump wins and your all about destruction A liberals mindset is wealth reduction yet the rich pay for 90% of the tax consumption Aint that something? Liberal logic, im crushing it Im clinging to my gun you punk bitch Its IN GOD WE TRUST YOU FUCKING LIBS A new age is coming with bliss The illegals are running to the fence (nice rant this,feel better now?,powerful statement here with truths attached from your view point,this came off as effortless to read and dripping with vibe,I liked this segment alot,as the emotion expressed was in the need to be heard,or read in this case,this for me is some (not all) of your best writing for me,you still have that grit and in your face style of yours cracking,but here it's impacting better..) Rushing to get back over the border Fuck the left and their new world order Liberalism is a mental disorder Abortion is placental horror They support Murder in trimester four Target allowing Trans through which ever door If you have a dick, your a man for sure Im a libertarian Asking Snowflakes for war Ill stone a flake, there is no place for Social Justice Fuck Michael Brown, Kate Jenner and homegrown Muslims an Illegal, Fuck ISIS, This place i call home is Republic Fuck a mullah, the double standard is troublesome When the bubble busts, Ill be waiting with my Muzzled Guns (preach brother man,your contents and aggression have been constant throughout in this verse,it has come off as hard hitting from start to finish,and with the factual angles have been a joy to read,plus it was an heart on sleeve affair too,and in a way a ripe personal insight into you as a person,and to which side of the bread you liked buttered,a totally ripe read..) rhetorical.. O.k. They fabricate lies that Obamacares affordable You either stand with ‘them’, or your branded ‘deplorable’ Email servers in burn bags aint even searchable Then attack Russians for hacking your illegal terminals Lynch and Clinton positioned on a private plane Sipping champagne with their corrupt driven campaign Money funneled from the Middle East, a million at least While these evil beasts feed the Socialists regimes (damn man give a brother room to cut in,that flow was ripe,I didn't even want to break it there to be honest,and the intended message was driven home well and true too, about distraction and conceit nicely done,i felt it,it had harshness blended with truth, ah the way of the world eh,I must say I'm enjoying this collab..) Three Thousand people dead in Chicago City streets Fake news repeats the same police shooting for weeks Protests turned looting to movements for sheep And Social Justice Warriors claim their fighting for peace Black Lives Matter as long as the agenda gets set Keep your eye on All Lives while we go further in debt If you don’t accept it your labeled a bigot or racist Or just say its White Privilege as they spit in our faces (Whoa,yep that hits not just the right spot,but all of them,this segment was again class,loving the content/Concept and the live statement you set aswell,this had some nice infusion of emotion in the way of spit and racist,tools that are degrading, and meant to belittle and show vulgar power,nice..) We invade their space? When liberals bend the laws Got trans-MEN pissing next to little Jen in the stalls Now children can’t even say the pledge in the halls Without getting suspended or parents getting a call Fuck you all. . its time we took this country back Politically correct? (pfffff) you can kiss my dirty ass crack Clinton commits perjury but Trump don’t have the “temperament” Libs rally men and women to ban our second amendment Meanwhile the borders are left opened or unattended While Muslim extremist plot their next fuckin Nine Eleven Ill never be a victim or bow to you snakes Or sell my own values to appease you snow flakes You’ll never take my guns or my love for this fucking land United we stand UNITED. . we'll Make America Great Again (I liked the twist on words in this closing segment,in fact throughout really,your flow/everything has been on point,like Dizzle's your point of view is also on the same wavelength,which just feeds overall a harder hitting collab,your a skilled writer,and here is the evident of that,a tremendous read here that caught me like a fish on a hook,I really did get pleasure here..) Overall SOLID,nuff said..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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The professional Vocalists
November: the festival of socialists The snowflakes with their boastfulness "Trumps Tone is as atrocious as it gets" Their emotions get hit A bunch of puppets to the noble globalists Trump n the oval office "He a racist" Baseless attempts at being persuasive Want a job? Get out your parents basement your fearing his hatred? Yet protesting an apparent patriot Supporting a bitch who protected a rapist So i can cake it your a trump fan and hate Clinton fans, message loud n clear here The Clinton Foundation is filled with corruption Truth And for the Emails, it was Trump nd the Russians You fucking Kids can't handle a simple discussion Trump wins and your all about destruction A liberals mindset is wealth reduction yet the rich pay for 90% of the tax consumption Every man for themselves right Aint that something? Liberal logic, im crushing it Im clinging to my gun you punk bitch Its IN GOD WE TRUST YOU FUCKING LIBS We need more religous people with guns A new age is coming with bliss The illegals are running to the fence Rushing to get back over the border Fuck the left and their new world order yeh get back to your own country Liberalism is a mental disorder Abortion is placental horror They support Murder in trimester four yeh who gave women the choice in the first place Target allowing Trans through which ever door If you have a dick, your a man for sure oh this is about the scientific link between trans people and pedophiles Im a libertarian Asking Snowflakes for war Ill stone a flake, there is no place for Social Justice Sharia Law steez Fuck Michael Brown, Kate Jenner and homegrown Muslims An eclectic mix of hate there an Illegal, Fuck ISIS, This place i call home is Republic Isis/muslims whats the difference Fuck a mullah, the double standard is troublesome When the bubble busts, Ill be waiting with my Muzzled Guns Well its your right i guess O.k. They fabricate lies that Obamacares affordable You either stand with ‘them’, or your branded ‘deplorable’ i get the impression it's not affordable Email servers in burn bags aint even searchable Then attack Russians for hacking your illegal terminals Lynch and Clinton positioned on a private plane Sipping champagne with their corrupt driven campaign Yeh they got found out in the end Money funneled from the Middle East, a million at least While these evil beasts feed the Socialists regimes they took more than a million but what regimes are those Three Thousand people dead in Chicago City streets Fake news repeats the same police shooting for weeks Protests turned looting to movements for sheep And Social Justice Warriors claim their fighting for peace Corrupt media/ professional protesters..i can dig the frustration there Black Lives Matter as long as the agenda gets set Keep your eye on All Lives while we go further in debt poor is poor black or white If you don’t accept it your labeled a bigot or racist Or just say its White Privilege as they spit in our faces spitting isn't nice We invade their space? When liberals bend the laws Got trans-MEN pissing next to little Jen in the stalls cubicles are pretty private though Now children can’t even say the pledge in the halls Without getting suspended or parents getting a call Fuck you all. . its time we took this country back Politically correct? (pfffff) you can kiss my dirty ass crack I am all for you native Americans taking your land back Clinton commits perjury but Trump don’t have the “temperament” Libs rally men and women to ban our second amendment Don't take away our guns or we'll shoot you Meanwhile the borders are left opened or unattended While Muslim extremist plot their next fuckin Nine Eleven They should be tighter than a nuns snatch now at least Ill never be a victim or bow to you snakes Or sell my own values to appease you snow flakes You’ll never take my guns or my love for this fucking land United we stand UNITED. . we'll Make America Great Again! I mean it doesn't sound exactly inclusive so not everyone can unite but the idea sounds nice. Overall well you got your point across. I thought it had some relatively decent points but i can't say i'm share the majority. I mean this is bound to offend but i'm not personally. I already know where you both fall politically so this wasn't anything surprising. I thought rets was put together better as far as an argument but Diz had more of the shock factor. Both were well constructed well, Diz i felt your wasn't as smooth but with the right pauses in the right places it still flowed strong. |
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#bananas
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Concrete
Standard Member Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1418 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Aight this was a pretty refreshing read. I suppose these views represent the silent majority that got Trump elected. Personally I don't find these very offensive, much of this it is just common sense if you have the audacity to think outside the media narrative. So I'm all for critizing anything or anyone really, let freedom of speech be free and all that.
That said, I would like to see you make a similar attackagainst the other side also, Trump statements, capitalism, greed, bombing of countries, nationalism, etc. While you clearly express how you think in an effective manner, yet to invite for more serious contemplation the overall message could be less simplified and unbalanced. At least I find the fundamental philosophies way more interesting than the media driven day to day crude american politics.
A new age is coming with bliss - This remains to be seen really, Trump is truly a wild card. Technically both did mostly well, Dizz had short and direct bars while rhet had a somewhat more intricate style that tho stumbled a bit, worked well overall. The strong point here is how you conveyed your message, it was clear-cut and never got boring. The only thing I will object to here is diz giving this a five star rating, that's a classic corrupt clinton move right there, dude. Leave the impartials to give out stars. |
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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alicewonder
Standard Member Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
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So, this was an interesting read, especially because of the different approach both of you displayed here.
Dizzle - I liked the schemes here, the transitions seemed effortless at some spaces. And I generally enjoy your rather short bar approach. I feel like it's getting smoother with every verse you post, which is nice to see. For the content, well, it's good to see you expressing your opinion. I thought the very direct approach you went for here matched everything quite nicely. Rhetorical - Although obviously very similar in content, I thought your part was quite different in terms of concept execution. Especially your first few bars set the tone in a more descriptive and less aggressive way, compared to Dizzle. I enjoyed the schemes and subtle switch ups more in this part, it had a tone of naturalness to it, which I appreciate. While I don't necessarily agree with the majority of the lines you formulated, I appreciate the value those lines carry for you. Interesting collab. |
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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As true today as the day it was dropped
I fuck with this major Bumping this as my feedback on the latest piece by the "Real Hip Hop" And cos I like it |
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