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Skep
Standard Member Joined: 08 July 2014 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 498 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW |
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Posted: 20 February 2017 at 5:11pm |
Fuck a life together, fuck her soul and our the night adventures
Over this and you, colder with my view, just to spite December This has gone long enough, a songs enough to fight forever Praying I forget, upset that I might remember this slight displeasure You think I'm pissed, bitch, I'm really not tripping balls Baby steps, this shit is a crazy mess, but ain't phase me yet, It's like one step forward, and 80 steps back to my hazy death Am I lazy, yes... Like I said, baby steps but every kid slips and falls You wanna a make point? Okay, it's gonna be your final statement Like grow a back bone, quick being a fat hoe, you need a spinal placement Time's complacent, really it's a joke, you know my minds impatient To my amazement, open hearts from the start, but mine's adjacent I did everything I could try, to the point I literally would die But that's the past, and just like my legs, you just stood by And did more damage, so I'd store sadness, or madness Simply put, my cores shattered and this is really good-bye |
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Live Battle Artist The True Audio Champ Verbal Assassin |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Do you feel better now?,seems like you had something you wanted to get off your
chest here,as the emotion within this verse was quite strong really,like it was written via experience,the ending seemed bitter sweet compared to the rest of the verse though,in most parts your displaying anger due to her being lack lustred,and then the end with its sentiment attached,all that was missing there was good bye and fair well my love,fuck you and fuck off would have been more in tune with the prior subject matter for me,anyways the tempo/vibe was good,as was (like I've already stated ^^up there) the emotion too,I do like to read heart on sleeve pieces,as it acts like a window into your thoughts when it was written,so props in that department there,yeah I liked and enjoyed the read, good work..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Beans
Superior Member Joined: 12 October 2013 Location: MA Status: Offline Points: 6718 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 95-24-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Shit son. some harsh shit in here....as a verse this was cool. read smooth some decent schemes in here. deff could tell you were frustrated while writing this. stay up
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1-2 Season 1 Final Champ
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Skep
Standard Member Joined: 08 July 2014 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 498 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW |
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Respect
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Live Battle Artist The True Audio Champ Verbal Assassin |
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Amgin
Groupie Joined: 31 January 2017 Status: Offline Points: 140 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-3-0 Form: LLL |
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Unreal! This is one of my favorite posts to read, I think it strikes a cord in everyone too that's gone through messy breakups |
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