Open Mic: Cobwebs

Jay, welcome back. I can see that you're easing yourself back to writing. I've seen harder shit from you. You have all the technique down. On my end, whilst reading, I thought a syllable here or there extra in some lines would have enhanced the flow a bit. Just how I was reading it. It was like I naturally added them. All in all man, I'm excited to have a vet back on the grind.

What up bro. Good shit here not bad for taking so much time off. Some rhymes werent adding up or throwing off the rhymes schemes. But a great flow and consistent overall. Get at me

Well simplicity was the key here,it all read natural and cohesive,I liked how you started,
it came off as meek and submissive,but by 2nd half it was forceful with a controlled tone,the vocab here didn't need to be extensive as the tempo and contents carried this
piece forward here,and to be honest I was happier for it,as this made a nice refreshing
change really,see complexity all well and good,but when striving in that direction you
have to sacrifice flow to achieve that,now with simplicity your more focused on
the rhyme schemes and flow,the bonus is with this route is less clutter less fuck ups,
hence a cleaner verse,a nice quaint and enjoyable read here..peace.

Just wanted to jump in here and say welcome back homie, I love to see the old faces resurface especially those that were active for long spells at the same time as me

Well I can definitely relate to the position you are in, I only came back about 8months ago after a year or more off my writing

The drop was ok, I can see you still got that passion
A couple more pieces and you will find the thought process return's
The fundamental is locked down you just gotta get the metaphor and clever angles back in your game

Respect

Wanted to dig this one out because I didn't feed it at the time but had read it at work & intended to give feedback...

Two minds really, one is, I like to see evolution and I can see you're trying to move more towards a grime feel but at the same time I personally don't like it as you were one of those guys who, to me, had a real great style and I thought you had a real great balance to your writing. You can kind of see some of the remnants of that in here as your natural (and learned!!) style is still in here, you've just chopped out some of the syllable count. It's a real interesting one in some way because your signature smoothness/flow doesn't really marry with the sharper, more stacatto/aggressive type grime that I'm used to (though got to hold my hands up and say I'm far from an expert in that form and it's more my impression). I dunno man, I'd love to see you try and do more of the Kiki approach if you were gonna go for shorter bar structure than grime...because I used to love reading your drops man, you had a real confidence and authenticity that not many people achieve.

But that's just me!! Hope to see more from you man.