Open Mic: Believe

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   So I've never made an audio before but if I was going to it would be for this track. I think it's the first time I've ever written a hook too, though it's probably difficult to appreciate it without my interpretation of how it's meant to sound (which is understandable). Unfortunately the way I envision this as a song requires female vocals, harmonisation, and some great mixing that I don't have access to. So it will stay as a pipe dream indefinitely.
Also this some of the realest shit I ever wrote and I think it's a contender for my best work (IMO it is my best work). If anyone saw my last drop you know I was in a bit of a bad place this year. I'm good now and this is sort of me venting a combination of thoughts and emotions I've had over the last 7 years or so. Peace.
____________________________________________________________________________________

I stand stall, then fall
Down to my knees, and plead
Dear God take me please
I can't breathe, at all
I don't believe, anymore
Don't wanna be at all

Every time I open my mouth you scream aloud
shout out at the clouds, can I please speak now?
Am I allowed to be free and proud?
I feel that now I've lost what I cared so deep about
Promised to find the way to your island heart,
but the skies are gray and dark,
and our violent past won't let us last
We break apart, restart then twelve months pass
still grit your teeth when you look at me,
and suddenly your misery loves my company
Start drunkenly arguing
it's sickingly comforting
We're keepin' score of slammed doors,
again and again until we've jammed yours
Proved it before, broken at the core
I guess we just can't do this anymore

I stand stall, then fall
Down to my knees, and plead
Dear God take me please
I can't breathe, at all
I don't believe, anymore
Don't wanna be at all

Who am I? You ask why I try to fly, why I try to touch the sky
when I know I'll fall and die
Why I never displayed more but became bored
sat by the lakeshore, father and his great roar
bores in my brain now, head aches and sore
my mistakes that you're paying for with flesh breaks
I know the strength it takes
to be trapped behind a cage door
you thought I'd care more, therefore feel pain more
once you realise I couldn't care less
I guess that makes me a careless mess, stressed
who failed to impress and live up to his parents success
I confess laid bare, back to the present day where
suffer alone depressed, in a broken home
chrome pressed against the dome, counting every second
like a metronome and I'm blasting off to Heaven

I stand stall, then fall
Down to my knees, and plead
Dear God take me please
I can't breathe, at all
I don't believe, anymore
Don't wanna be at all

Eyes open, conscious so low
walk solo towards the hollow center of sorrow
looking forward to a better tomorrow,
still sick, this ain't a common cold though
I show no, signs of recovery
though the blackout was a night of luxury
wake up and look left, nobody beside me
right and God lyin' to me
Three apparitions appear in my vision,
like Christmas childrens fiction
they're disappointed in my decisions,
in my suicide wishin' crimson mission
Open wide and tears to my eyes, I softly cry
n' try to hide, the fear in my mind in low supply
emotions high, surprise devotion, why?
I don't deserve these friends of mine

I stand tall, then fall
Down to my knees, and plead
Dear God save me please
I can't breathe, at all
I can believe, don't leave
I wanna be, some more
I am me, it's all I can be...
believe

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Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Believe Posted: 21 November 2017 at 11:37am
	So I've never made an audio before but if I was going to it would be for this track. I think it's the first time I've ever written a hook too, though it's probably difficult to appreciate it without my interpretation of how it's meant to sound (which is understandable). Unfortunately the way I envision this as a song requires female vocals, harmonisation, and some great mixing that I don't have access to. So it will stay as a pipe dream indefinitely. Also this some of the realest shit I ever wrote and I think it's a contender for my best work (IMO it is my best work). If anyone saw my last drop you know I was in a bit of a bad place this year. I'm good now and this is sort of me venting a combination of thoughts and emotions I've had over the last 7 years or so. Peace. ____________________________________________________________________________________ I stand stall, then fall Down to my knees, and plead Dear God take me please I can't breathe, at all I don't believe, anymore Don't wanna be at all Every time I open my mouth you scream aloud shout out at the clouds, can I please speak now? Am I allowed to be free and proud? I feel that now I've lost what I cared so deep about Promised to find the way to your island heart, but the skies are gray and dark, and our violent past won't let us last We break apart, restart then twelve months pass still grit your teeth when you look at me, and suddenly your misery loves my company Start drunkenly arguing it's sickingly comforting We're keepin' score of slammed doors, again and again until we've jammed yours Proved it before, broken at the core I guess we just can't do this anymore I stand stall, then fall Down to my knees, and plead Dear God take me please I can't breathe, at all I don't believe, anymore Don't wanna be at all Who am I? You ask why I try to fly, why I try to touch the sky when I know I'll fall and die Why I never displayed more but became bored sat by the lakeshore, father and his great roar bores in my brain now, head aches and sore my mistakes that you're paying for with flesh breaks I know the strength it takes to be trapped behind a cage door you thought I'd care more, therefore feel pain more once you realise I couldn't care less I guess that makes me a careless mess, stressed who failed to impress and live up to his parents success I confess laid bare, back to the present day where suffer alone depressed, in a broken home chrome pressed against the dome, counting every second like a metronome and I'm blasting off to Heaven I stand stall, then fall Down to my knees, and plead Dear God take me please I can't breathe, at all I don't believe, anymore Don't wanna be at all Eyes open, conscious so low walk solo towards the hollow center of sorrow looking forward to a better tomorrow, still sick, this ain't a common cold though I show no, signs of recovery though the blackout was a night of luxury wake up and look left, nobody beside me right and God lyin' to me Three apparitions appear in my vision, like Christmas childrens fiction they're disappointed in my decisions, in my suicide wishin' crimson mission Open wide and tears to my eyes, I softly cry n' try to hide, the fear in my mind in low supply emotions high, surprise devotion, why? I don't deserve these friends of mine I stand tall, then fall Down to my knees, and plead Dear God save me please I can't breathe, at all I can believe, don't leave I wanna be, some more I am me, it's all I can be... believe
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

DressToKill Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 27 June 2006 Location: Canada,New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 6872 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 78-62-0 Form: LLWWWL	Post Options Post Reply Quote DressToKill Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 November 2017 at 3:19pm
	I want to feed this but can you drop the intended instrumental? If not it's cool I just thought it would help me pick up the flow
	The original comeback kid

Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 November 2017 at 9:36pm
	No instrumental used or specifically intended. I'll post a few I think could help you get a feel for what I'm aiming for but I don't write with instrumentals in mind. Can't write to a beat well.
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 November 2017 at 2:56am
	After reading your post, like ten minutes after, I thought "maybe Walk On Water could work?" And god damn did it work. Maybe because I can't sing for shit and don't think I have a good rapping voice but I can definitely talk well (lol) and the timing was almost perfect on my first attempt. Found one other I think would fit well, if it were a tad longer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMmrr3JDfSc (Eminem ft. Beyonce - Walk On Water [Instrumental]) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6dTrxa1-W0 (Idealism - Last Time)
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

Goryo. Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Goryo. Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 November 2017 at 1:07pm
	From a technical standpoint it was pretty raw and a little wordy at times but that added to the charm imo. It fit the mood of the piece so I wouldn't change that. I enjoyed the use of inners, some sections had more than others, and some inners seemed a bit 'thrown in' like: in my suicide wishin' crimson mission But this bar was cool as fuck: to be trapped behind a cage door you thought I'd care more, therefore feel pain more Another highlight was the 'drunkenly arguing' line cause it is pretty true. I can relate to quite a few things in this drop so I understand the mindset when writing it and what mood you want to present. I hope you record it.

DressToKill Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 27 June 2006 Location: Canada,New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 6872 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 78-62-0 Form: LLWWWL	Post Options Post Reply Quote DressToKill Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 November 2017 at 12:14am
	The emotion in this was raw dude, one suggestion I have would be to broaden your vocabulary. I felt you had done a good job of expressing your emotions but id like to see some unique twists in how you portray it if that makes sense. Also the flow was on for the most part but it could of been tightened up a little, either way writing from personal experience really adds to pieces and it was no different here.
	The original comeback kid

spume corrupt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote spume corrupt Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 November 2017 at 12:31am
	Yo Sup Game, you already know I’m a big fan of your nonsense Trust me bro, my name is Corrupt so I already knew who is you after one OM drop Your predictably average/boring multiple end rhyme game unmistakable Honestly I prefer my brother roofing meister when he’s unmasked Hope you dun get banned too soon! We should collab and kill em One love homie


spume corrupt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote spume corrupt Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 November 2017 at 12:33am
	Oops wrong thread My bad Will check this for you at the weekend brother A Bomb Damn Shawn got my knickers in a twist


Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 November 2017 at 3:46am
	Thanks for the feed. In case you didn't get it the crimson in suicide wishing crimson mission alludes to the colour red (anger and blood, present in suicidal thoughts/behaviour). Maybe it's a bit excessive to add another word but it definitely fit the theme and context.
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 November 2017 at 10:25am
	Good to see you dropping a verse here,i liked this piece for its simplicity as well, you also had some highlights within too,like the crimson bar and the one before that,about the ghosts in a Scrooge sort off setting,these alone brought a sense of awareness to the drop,which coupled with your flow aided and added to the verse overall,and i'll stress now by adding awareness it also injected a certain depth too,plus it's a trait i like to read in an OM,the stepping back and looking in served as some good imagery here,i do however agree with DTK about you bringing more deeper vocab,it lifts a verse up and out at a reader,on the whole a nice drop,yep i enjoyed the read..peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".