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barrybondz
Standard Member Joined: 09 June 2014 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 1440 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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Posted: 28 December 2017 at 11:02am |
So ya got beef, I'll kick you right in the shin So fuck geeks, homie I'll knock ya right in the chin Yeah laugh, it's funny but I got that devilish grin I relish in it, I once gave a shit turned selfish Life keeps kicking and eventually you get the message Yet jealous ones envy, I beg em to end me Who woulda thought words could be so deadly A conscience weighs heavy so you'd better tread lightly Fear ain't healthy friend I can get quite nasty I'm twenty six but in my mind I'm only nineteen Yeah I fucked with queen, bohemian rhapsody One writer, one producer and that shit was clean Now we got j-bieber? Twenty nine producers thirty writers? Pops in a state of 9-1-1 so call the rap cops Til this crap stops send this punk on the run Quick! give Ransom a loaded gun, quick destroy my pun Why should he have all the fun? |
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Absolute Abomination
Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW |
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this one was much better...but I remember seeing that meme with Bieber and Queen and the lyrics and the list of writers a few years ago. Some old irrelevant subject matter Bondz...
I liked the first half and didn't like the second half. Shoulda stopped after "I can get quite nasty" and continue on that braggodocio i am the best stuff, instead you switch to taking shots at a pop star that taking shots at has been lame for a few years. PS this is 17 lines not 16
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Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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So BB good to see your alias about again,this piece is like a selfhype/warning Shot
for me,your rhyme scheme was basic but it did have merit as it kept this drop(imo) moving on,I liked the Queen lines within this,not only the "Bohemian Rhapsody",but the other indirect lines like One writer One producer,it had that "Its A Kind Of Magic" vibe which mirrowed how that songs starts,i didn't care for the J Bieber references to much though,seemed unnecessary and read kind off flat and out of place here, all in all a nice drop that's easily worth a 3 star rating, which i will assign this piece, anyways good to read your around again...peace Sorry dude i hit the 2 stars by mistake. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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barrybondz
Standard Member Joined: 09 June 2014 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 1440 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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You know what's wrong with today's rap or this mumble crap. Kids sit on a rhyme dictionary and try to rhyme big words all day and call it intricate. In the song shook ones prodigy says" I'm only 19 but in my mind I'm old" so I had a shout out that probably went over most heads but oh well. Also in business Eminem says hip-hops in a state of 9-1-1 "pops in a state of 9-1-1" name a different pop artist worth taking a crack at that's in a state of 9-1-1. Overall writing pieces with "big words" and calling that a complex rhyme scheme ain't the same thing.
Also as for the 1 writer 1 producer, it wasn't about some meme you saw on the internet. It was basically a shout-out to queen whilst also stating rap typically has 1 writer and that's why I prefer it's genre. |
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Absolute Abomination
Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW |
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That was a reaching Prodigy reference lol.
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Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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