Open Mic: my dream last night, my poem for today

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    Posted: 28 January 2018 at 6:25pm
Last night I dreamt of you
I got so close but could hardly remember you
confused, I couldn't smell the familiar scent of you
free, there was no love to trap me
and when I looked in your eyes, I sadly
felt no compassion..... and you looked so unhappy ...
whispered, and asked me "do you still love me?".
that's when I paused and said ".....I feel nothin ......".
I'm no longer lost in that dark fate.
And I noticed when I focused on your eyes, 
they no longer make my heart ache.
And unlike I did for years, when you'd throw fits and more,
this time, I didn't catch your tears, I just let them hit the floor.
reluctantly I say, "no I don't love you anymore"
as we both stare down at the puddle on the floor
nothing more to say, I walk after I turn away
my dream last night, my poem for today
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 January 2018 at 7:34pm
Well well well BG,impressive and quite poetic..



Yeah i liked this one,your depiction was the highlight for me,the details were
subtle but expressive,and the flow was smooth also,i could visualise the pool
of dropped tears,the realisation of a lie,and the steps that led to the truth being
discovered,all nicely done i thought,a short verse that actually contains a lot
due to the emotional aspect,and ill be honest here,the repeated rhyming of the
word you at the start nearly made me think this was going to be mediocre,but
it was far from that,i enjoyed this one alot (truth),it was a well written piece...

peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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