Open Mic: (TWD#3) Sweet! Land.

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Dntplywelwitothers View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 30 November 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 172
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dntplywelwitothers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: (TWD#3) Sweet! Land.
    Posted: 02 April 2018 at 4:41am

We've dug a trench for humanity... it's being buried in gravel
The undertakers concise...so is the man with the gavel.
We sell the object of freedom, but warning...buyer be ware...
Eons we've danced with the devil, and he has fire to spare...
We pulsate propaganda..and tell a legend of perjury....
historical burglary...a nation covered in burgundy...
We can't recover from surgery, we only omit the topic...
Baptized in a trail of tears as if our sins are aquatic ....
Binary vision , the monster writes through the authors eyes.
People murdered and ostracized, but .God bless these Stars and Stripes.
"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
Back to Top
iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 13 May 2014
Location: NJ
Status: Offline
Points: 2477

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 11-5-1
Form: LWWLWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2018 at 1:54pm
Yo... this jawn is pure flame. Topical with the words and they were contributing, non-forced factors into the piece. 

Quote We've dug a trench for humanity... it's being buried in gravel The undertakers concise...so is the man with the gavel.

Talk to them yo... the meta and the vision on this opener is in your face, telling, and the punch needed to grab the readers attention.

Quote We sell the object of freedom, but warning...buyer be ware...Eons we've danced with the devil, and he has fire to spare...

Yes, again with the imagery. Your word play is playing off of the vision so well. Really adding depth to the topic.

Quote We pulsate propaganda..and tell a legend of perjury....historical burglary...a nation covered in burgundy...

False history, bloody hands, i'm fucking with it...

Quote We can't recover from surgery, we only omit the topic...
Baptized in a trail of tears as if our sins are aquatic ....

This enhances the last line. including the trail of tears, and the word Baptized makes it that much more "godly". The manipulation of words on this jawn is excellent

Quote Binary vision , the monster writes through the authors eyes.
People murdered and ostracized, but .God bless these Stars and Stripes.

Loved the ending.

I'll be looking for more from you.

Back to Top
Slip View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 04 June 2013
Location: St Johns. N.L.
Status: Offline
Points: 1612
Crew: Alter Egos

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 14-33-0
Form: LLLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Slip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2018 at 11:29pm
Amazing usage of the given words bro effortless seamless Solid really enjoyed this one Def #1 contender this month in my opinion
See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego
inner demon violent beast so
warn the mother fucking people
Back to Top
Dntplywelwitothers View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 30 November 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 172
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dntplywelwitothers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2018 at 12:36am
Thanks for the feed fellas, I really appreciate you taking the tyme.
"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
Back to Top
daydizzle89 View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member


Joined: 23 July 2014
Status: Offline
Points: 3805

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 6-11-0
Form: LWWLLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2018 at 3:07pm
Yeah brotha,


You suprised me with this drop. Wasnt expecting this dopeness from you (Dont know your name really). Opening bar was dope as fuck. Nice usage of words and the flow was consistent. This is defo one of the better word drops out there.

Baptized in a trail of tears as if our sins are aquatic ..
__________________________________________
This shit right here is on a different level. Great usage of the
words giving to you brohamia.
Back to Top
Neek View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar
Super Mario Slaughterer

Joined: 05 October 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3862

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 3-1-0
Form: LWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 April 2018 at 3:13pm
sup bro. I was gonna do a whole review with the zomg reactions and alla dat but ill skip it..


and heres why:

firstly because you won, so we know its lit dude. secondly because we've briefly spoken on the thousand bar pieces youve been working on for the past 78 years and I feel this AMAZING drop was just a small releasing of the pressure thats been building in the pot of the thousand bar drop (TM) ...so for that reason.. besides it being dope.. I found it to be reallly ill.

anyway homeboy. congrats. stay gangsta and lemme know when you tryna get bodied on some spades again.
#Bananas
Back to Top
Lord Puente View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar
Final Boss

Joined: 05 July 2016
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 1814

Audio Champ

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 4-2-0
Form: LWWWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 April 2018 at 3:24pm
This one of the few I didn’t feed and I’m filled with regret. Lol this shit dope.

That trail of tears line tho... next level shit. Then the opener and closer were strong. Especially that closer was ruthless.

Hope to see more drops from you mr he who must not be named
Back to Top
Dntplywelwitothers View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 30 November 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 172
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dntplywelwitothers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 April 2018 at 3:31pm
thanks for the read fellas....I appreciate your words, and your tyme!

@neekazoid hope this lil 10 bar got your attention span ready for the 1250 bar drop I'll be posting in 2020 (shits almost done) I know how mfkrs be doing the goldfish when reading long ass drops. Anyway bruh...good lookin out
"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
Back to Top
D.W.G View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 10 April 2018
Status: Offline
Points: 18
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote D.W.G Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 April 2018 at 11:35pm
I did one, and I can’t see it anymore. Was it deleted somehow?
Back to Top
Crimson Juice View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar

Joined: 20 December 2015
Location: U.K.
Status: Offline
Points: 3258
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 6-11-0
Form: LLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 April 2018 at 11:53pm
OK DWG,your verse for April's WD is in your pm's,you posted it the wrong thread,i
also left you details in the same pm on what to do,as i had to clean my original
thread,now please go and read the site rules because this post of your here,is
nothing more than a freepost,as it has nothing to do with this thread via feed..




"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down