Open Mic: Tickets to Heaven

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   Tito and Amanda were lovers, you know
Battle scarred relationship like others, fo’ sho
Lookin’ for a lotto ticket for money to blow
Just when luck left they got lucky, but yo

Yeahhh, they have their fixes travelin’ high
Not a day gone that they weren’t stragglin’ by
Livin’ that pipe dream with a crack on the mind
Always in denial cuz, it’s bad for them guys 
I guess you can see they were on the path to just die
Until, a stroke of brilliance captured his eye

They needed money bad so a scam was in place
A quick gwap grab to take advantage of mates 
People like them who were damaged, disgraced
Down in the dumps but sell luck packaged with faith

Pure golden tickets to heaven for sale 
If you don’t buy the opposite of heaven is hell
When you pass away
Make sure the ticket is present and hail
What they didn’t grasp that day
That this was a secret only the devil can tell

…$100 dollars to be saved by Jesus!
He spoke to me through faith and weakness!

Tito and Amanda’s stories unfolded…
Ten-thousand dollars later their glory was stolen
Arrested by the police, then decided to claim
Jesus was to blame inside of his brain…

Tito said…
“Behind the KFC he empowered me with grace
To sell all these tickets to take me to outer space
An alien named Stevie, is the Uber of the universe 
His planet’s made of drugs, users are exuberant!
I can bring you proof you need, look at me
I’ll wear a wire and set Jesus up!”

Amanda stressed…
“We just wanted to leave Earth and go to space
To get coke and bake and see how much my nose can take
I didn’t do anything Tito sold the tickets and copped
I just say back with him and watched”

The police confiscated over ten-thou in cash
Drug paraphernalia, an ounce and a half… 
Plus a baby alligator… let just leave it at that

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iLL ScriptureZ Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote iLL ScriptureZ Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Tickets to Heaven Posted: 25 June 2018 at 3:44pm
	Tito and Amanda were lovers, you know Battle scarred relationship like others, fo’ sho Lookin’ for a lotto ticket for money to blow Just when luck left they got lucky, but yo Yeahhh, they have their fixes travelin’ high Not a day gone that they weren’t stragglin’ by Livin’ that pipe dream with a crack on the mind Always in denial cuz, it’s bad for them guys I guess you can see they were on the path to just die Until, a stroke of brilliance captured his eye They needed money bad so a scam was in place A quick gwap grab to take advantage of mates People like them who were damaged, disgraced Down in the dumps but sell luck packaged with faith Pure golden tickets to heaven for sale If you don’t buy the opposite of heaven is hell When you pass away Make sure the ticket is present and hail What they didn’t grasp that day That this was a secret only the devil can tell …$100 dollars to be saved by Jesus! He spoke to me through faith and weakness! Tito and Amanda’s stories unfolded… Ten-thousand dollars later their glory was stolen Arrested by the police, then decided to claim Jesus was to blame inside of his brain… Tito said… “Behind the KFC he empowered me with grace To sell all these tickets to take me to outer space An alien named Stevie, is the Uber of the universe His planet’s made of drugs, users are exuberant! I can bring you proof you need, look at me I’ll wear a wire and set Jesus up!” Amanda stressed… “We just wanted to leave Earth and go to space To get coke and bake and see how much my nose can take I didn’t do anything Tito sold the tickets and copped I just say back with him and watched” The police confiscated over ten-thou in cash Drug paraphernalia, an ounce and a half… Plus a baby alligator… let just leave it at that

rhetorical Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL	Post Options Post Reply Quote rhetorical Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25 June 2018 at 5:20pm
	lmao. . oh boy where to start. i love the humor in this piece first and foremost, such a dope topic. and what i really appreciate about your writing is even though you utilize poetic elements and such, you strategically place simple words in there just to keep it hip hop af . . it all works well to your advantage. anyway, i really enjoyed the story and the choice of topic here. I work at a county jail, so its even funnier to me because i see these kind of characters come through here on a daily basis lol . .good shit ill


iLL ScriptureZ Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote iLL ScriptureZ Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25 June 2018 at 5:25pm
	Word Rhet! I'm glad you pulled the comedy from this.

daydizzle89 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote daydizzle89 Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25 June 2018 at 6:43pm
	Yeah, this is silly I remember reading this article and thinking to myself "This is what happened when to incest tribe people meet" Overall, Story/topic was pretty funny and the way you plotted it out was clever. Nice wording and vocabulary. Technical aspects was polished and flow was good. This was definitely different and i want to see more of this.

XcesE5 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 23 June 2018 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 20	Post Options Post Reply Quote XcesE5 Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25 June 2018 at 11:17pm
	You're a g for doing this./ I wouldn't really think to turn a story like this one into a verse. There's def humor throughout which is enjoyable, - I didn't like the last 2 lines of the dude perspective, feel it could've been formatted to deliver a scheme Overall enjoyed this.

Sammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Sammy Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 June 2018 at 1:34am
	man iLL ur really good at making piece complex and poignant but still maintain a strong hip hop core. not to say that pure hip hop can't be complex or poignant but most arent. its either really face value or just braggadocio. this was a really cool story. and lol@baby alligator! somehow a very sharp commentary is bubbling underneath. it was simply a moment of aleatory effect. i really like this piece man. keep on.


iLL ScriptureZ Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote iLL ScriptureZ Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 June 2018 at 2:55pm
	Day, X, Sammy... appreciate the time