Open Mic: Gunshots

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Anubis View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 May 2005 at 8:52am
Just something Shortish...

Gunshots, beging of gang warfare, acts of brutality,
buckshot, no thoughts of welfare, escalating around me
Calmly now, take a breath, aim and pull the trigger
They allow themselves death, no skill in this villager
Bang, massive bleeding, Bang, loss of feeling
BANG, Vision Bluring, BANG, no returning

Expectation of continuation as they move in unison
Basic formation of intimidation, a move of despiration
An ethinc combination, black, white and asian
Seeking Compensation for a previous elimination
Reaching their destination, feeling of determination
Left in tatters, demoralization, Far from salvation
Blood Splatters, a lack of information, of preperation
Coagulation and the passing of foriegn Congradualtions

This harsh reality, bleeding the masses dry
Sitting above it all, watching, wondering why they cry
Removed from it all, once a factor in their hollow views
from the world with its limited knowledge of hues*

*Skin colours
A work in Progress

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Fatal View Drop Down
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...Wicked Wit Wordplay...

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Fatal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 June 2005 at 5:32pm
nice imagry, storytelling, good vocab.
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20theTruth View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote 20theTruth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 June 2005 at 5:41pm
i really liked this
flowed well
and had nice vocab

nice meaning and nice portrayal
stay up Anubis.
no more
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