Open Mic: Freestyle #19 - Ascended Bastard

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Concrete View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Concrete Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Freestyle #19 - Ascended Bastard
    Posted: 17 May 2020 at 8:33pm

a defiant punk solely seeking guidance from violent bums
now my eyelids close my mind is one with the silent hum
by my mcintosh, absinthe and applesauce back and forth 
jackin off to kalashnikovs due to lack of love at the source
rather let my pen be blasting, find targets then advance in
taking out all competitors one at a time like a zen assassin
repel - get served, challenge me you got a hell of a nerve
only said I'll be-game to battle as in the level you deserve 
your sad life the unsung saga abused by your drunk mama
therapy may resolve the issues but I give you blunt trauma
aint no spirits coming here, see your girl then summon her
ask the bitch - miss, are you bothered by this commoner?
to peep your battle-raps I'd need a bottle of adderall caps
as a matter of fact, I rather attack and shatter your back

call me the bad guy of mankind, put killers in the dirt like landmines
became enlightened at the grand shrine, recognized buddhas gangsign
making it all clearer, aint no testing this killer wrecking down pillars
you refuse to see the light like triggered whiggers checkin out mirrors

an act of love, as its such bestowed - as above, not so much so below

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Neek View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2020 at 8:38pm
I dug the Buddhas gangsign lol. last four of the first stanza felt a tad... yolo in presentation lol.


overall, im wondering where the fuck the other 18 went?!


welcome back Con.
#Bananas
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Beans View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Beans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2020 at 9:55pm
Nice
1-2 Season 1 Final Champ
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2020 at 11:07am
Well look at you!, flexing your pecs and all, this was really really nice, is it a sort of
warm up to Beans up and coming battle event?, I loved the mature vibe you ran with
here, kind of made this come off as a statement of sorts, like who got the gumption
to step in this direction, like your drawing a line on the floor and challenging ppl to
dare cross it, i also liked the rhyme scheme it was fluid and concise, good to read
your back around Concrete i always liked the battle stance you bring within all your
drops, you wasn't the undefeated champion for nothing, (a title he ended up giving
away let me add), and here a titbit for you, i've always tried to (in a fashion) model
my verses on your style when battling true talk, not as effective as you though, but
i try, really enjoyed this blunt essence of a piece here, solid read brother man solid
read....peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Concrete Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2020 at 6:03pm
Thanks for comments players. Crim thats flattering to hear, 'blunt essence' pretty much sums up what I aim to write.
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CHAIN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 May 2020 at 3:53pm
Drunk mama- blunt trauma bar was super hard.
Need more of that
The wigger bar was insidious

Good shit.
+Sick-Witted+
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Mitch.Wagwaan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 June 2020 at 2:37pm
Fire shit. Multies popping off. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Thought I would atleast bring some critique to the table though.

Jackin off to Kalashnikovs due to lack of love at the source.

I personally feel the ‘The’ before source isn’t needed and took the bouncy glow away whilst I was spitting.

Buddha & Wigger best bars but the flow on this was the highlight for me.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 June 2020 at 3:52pm
this isnt particulary feedback but im always impressed whenever people write the same line lengths consistently and still make the verse fire

just a dope verse with a bunch of quotables...i fw it heavy
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Schematic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 July 2020 at 12:19am
SuperAce
http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/rapper-t-vs-schematic-horrorcore-02_topic45919.html
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