Audio Mic: GDub - Aleister Crowley

Yeah this was decent in vocab and wordplay,but your flow/mic presence was
suspect,it sounded like you was reading the verse whilst recording it,and for
me it was noticeable,(not that i Rap myself let me just add here),and i also feel
Neek,Doom,Elite,or Puente could expand better than i can on that,i will type
though,overall i did like it for its gritty-ness,just work on your delivery..peace.

I'd work on your writing before you devote any serious time or money on the audio side of things. At this point, its like your talking for the sake of talking when it comes to your content. Imagine rapping with people talking, be more like someone given a well prepared speech than someone saying random as fuck all over the place shit, if you know what I mean. Don't start writing until you have something to write about. Random references like the scorpion shit early on detract anything you've built. Cliche stuff like puffing the bong all night long made me turn the song off. Most of the things I disliked about this would be remedied by starting off with a concept instead of writing down the first rhymes that come into your head. Be more picky with what you say.