Venomous vs Asylum: Lynxx Vs. Mackie |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
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Posted: 24 September 2007 at 2:38pm |
Venomous: Lynxx
Asylum: Mackie 26 Lines Each Deadline = 7th October Be There Or Be Square Like Spongebobs Pants Blind Drops to me Topic: Soldier In A War |
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dalinquent
Superior Member Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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Will send soon...wanna finish mine first
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Kay B
Superior Member Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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And there was me thinking you'd send a half finished one |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
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Mackie:
dey dey call dey call it warfare.. man, it ain fair, dey dey dey call call it warfare.. bruv war ain fair. trench mud sprays wen the bullits hit it, bullits slap the mud, rifles pack sucha massive thud ringin in my ears like the hissin of a dud wishin i cud run, i hold my gun tight - its my life line, told i gotta fight many men lose their life, soon as they go over dat dirt - germs gotta snif' picks em off like flys. morta attacks make earth splash into air.. this is warfare.. limbs littered round - lost dogtags wait to be found in the ground.. this is warfare.. this is warfare... its a plague everyones catchin bullits - so we callin it the shots for short, everyones coverd in miniscule red dots, n we fightin.. well im not so sure id call it dying. bodys buried under bodys wit the mass grave's we sittin in, stick a dead between my hed n the line of fire, got bullit proof vests made from skin, freinds n family back home gettin blitzd n im over ere gettin shit.. no im over ere gettin pickd apart by tic's n watchin men get shot in heart by migs, im havin hard a hard time workin out what it is thats worth this, war is a extention of politics when politics dont work - in it, lives are worthliss... ...i wonder how many partys wud be elected if the people saw the plight ...if people knew the true meanin of a fight... if they knew how life looks before you die.. war ain pretty, a glorious death in the name of ya nation, yeah it sounds pretty but what im seein now is gritty, tarnishd that bullshit, now its straight shitty, you shud see our hospitals, veterans screamin wit missin limbs nurses are scared shitless they jus stick to singin hyms, n everyother cunt is a born again christian... every man you kill - man it hurts they still shootin shouting mein fuhrer long after they dead, i hear their words germs bout fiddy feet away - mortas drop every minit, guns fire every secon, i can still hear what they say... its impossible to sleep when you ain scared of the dark.. but ya fear every day anyway its my time to go out the trench run over whatevers in between, my feet slippin on blood n the dead, but i ain ever seen a field so serene Lynxx: Playin russian roulette, see em die.. you next,
stormin trenches n barbed wire, rushin two vets,
debri flys past my shoulder, bullets n shrapnel,
clap tools, homicide on home soil, clutch triggas, pull it n catch falls,
the left behind rot on the floor, amputation for feet n arms,
the sight of a man wastin n retreat alarms,
fight for survival, the sight of the rivals,
bloody n gore automatically exciting the rifles,
no mans land populated by magazined militia,
ganged guerillas, farewell to dead, the team'll miss ya,
propaganda puppets pullin on metal, a forced decision,
ammunition multiply deaths, add to cause attrition,
the subtract of life and the divide of peace,
fatal fate of fallen men, they die increased,
they lie in piece, all cos of governments that lie in speech,
the reduction of the fit, the clappin n rockets,
all to feed countries' power n fatten they pockets,
stop it, but it never will,
only once the worlds creatures are forever chill,
cold in the grave, hot hollows hit hastely,
i fall deaf in slow motion, tip missiles rip, wastin me,
am i seein the light as my existance falls dark,
or am i just another to walk the distant war path?
all as result of the hunger n greed,
that engulfs our world and our sons that'll bleed..... |
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2smooth
Standard Member Joined: 25 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1930 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 36-5-2 Form: WWWWNW |
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aight... i'm not gonna do bar by bar here... basically, i gotta VOTE: Mackie on this one...
he just had a more descriptive verse... the situation as he explained it seemed as if he drew the picture of what was goin' on... where as lynxx had a cool verse as well, it just wasn't as descriptive IMO...
to be perfectly fair tho, neither verse was done as well as they could have been...
ok battle...
1-0 mackie
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Kay B
Superior Member Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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This was a preety one sided battle imo, though both verse's lacked something to make them dope....Macks just had more of a story to it like smooth said, his description wasn't amazing but out of the two i prefer it and there was more...I enjoyed reading macks verse more
Mack gmv...2-0 |
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lynxx
Standard Member Joined: 03 February 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 417 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-2-0 Form: LLWW |
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it doesnt have to be all descriptive....its not Ur a soldier in a war....its jus soldier in a war....perspectives can be different...
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Kay B
Superior Member Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Topicals NEED description you NEED to capture the reader eye and have them feel like there in the situation of the character (s)
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Mackie
Standard Member Joined: 20 August 2005 Location: MK Status: Offline Points: 1504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 45-38-4 Form: LLWLNW |
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i think what he's trying to say is....
VOTE FOR ME PLEASE |
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dalinquent
Superior Member Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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2-0 mack
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Mackie
Standard Member Joined: 20 August 2005 Location: MK Status: Offline Points: 1504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 45-38-4 Form: LLWLNW |
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direct1
Standard Member Joined: 29 March 2008 Location: north wales Status: Offline Points: 486 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-0 Form: LLLWW |
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to be honest i know this is an old battle but takin a look at it i would of said linx won that, because i liked his flow his creativity was good and it did give u an idea of what people went through and still go through without the trenches, macckies wqas a nice idea aswell and he did a good job but i'd have to say lynxx won.
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Bolo
Standard Member ¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
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please don't dig up old threads man....
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I am the one that knocks...
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