Open Mic: Quick Keystyle... feedback

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$n00z View Drop Down
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    Posted: 06 February 2010 at 10:43am
Lemme drop a quick gem.... hhmmm let's see
 
Let me grace yall, erase all doubt-from-ya-mind
I'm a beast, I drop da bars, u sit on the couch-an-rewind
Move at break-neck-speed and break-legs-knees
Necks-n-feet, or any limbs of niggaz steppin-to-me
MC's aint sayin shit, like accordians I hate the noise
Disect u an leave body parts in different yards like paperboys
Your face annoys me, plus you roll wit a bunch-of-clits
Ya name should be "J.J. Red" because u stay in front-of-"Dick"
Havin fun-when-I-spit, I aint runnin-from-shit
If yous a "sucka" u can suck on "dum dums"-from-the-clip
 
jus a lil somethin... ya know
holla
U already know...
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Stalin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Stalin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2010 at 10:51am
rhymes are nice, flow was pretty good in most parts.. obviously.. there was nothin special.. nothin really hard hittin, nothin to really stand out.  But as this was a quick key, not bad at all...  The 3rd and 4th line rhymes seems way too forced for me though.  I mean with the breaks leg knees, the words were forced together, but u also set up the next line to have the same rhyme sas that.  While the beggining and end do rhyme, the middle doesnt at all, which usually doesnt have to.. but when u have a word with such emphasis liek legs in the middle, its tought to pull that multi off with out that sound being in the following rhymes.
 
Overall a pretty good drop.. nice to see you do know what ur doin for the most part.. stay active.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2010 at 2:41pm
This was coolio, imagine it might sound a bit better on audio with a bit of attitude spun into the words...in terms of text, it was decent...some of the rhymes were a bit simple, I liked the accordions simile and the paper boys was a decent idea. 
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Eyez View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Eyez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2010 at 6:47pm
nothing special but a decent text..
paperboys line was a nice idea.
rhymes seemed to be forced a bit
but on audio it definitely sounds better.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote King Jehu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2010 at 7:54pm
I agree with them on all counts. JJ Reddick line was nice, but it might go over the heads of some Brits.
Insert something rappy here
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$n00z View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote $n00z Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2010 at 9:27pm
Damn I keep forgetting this isnt an american site. I'm from the US in North Carolina. I was just tryin to find a site to battle on and this was the most interesting one I've seen. Yea alot of my rhymes are better in audio. I'm about to post some shit i dropped bout a month or 2 ago.. thanks for the  feedback... later
U already know...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SwordedStylez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2010 at 11:16pm
Not bad, apart from the "legs-break-knees" bit which was plain retarded this was a decentish keystyle. Can see you have good fundamentals, oh and Jehu, some of us brits keep up with the NBA ;)
Music

Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's)
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