Battles under Review: Mr. House vs Kid Spitter |
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Mr. House
Groupie Joined: 11 July 2013 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 343 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-3-0 Form: WWWWWW |
Topic: Mr. House vs Kid Spitter Posted: 28 February 2014 at 11:54pm |
4 bars
House Rules |
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Kid Spitter
Newbie Joined: 24 February 2014 Status: Offline Points: 11 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
Posted: 05 March 2014 at 2:25am |
You 5 and 3 but u ain't surviving me u will die easily u facin me basically my verse is his eulogy usually I body real rappers what are u to me.....nothin stop frontin u ain't no badnewz u ain't even a bad discussion
Mr. House I could spit in his mouth and his shit still wouldn't wow it gets no ones attention this dude need to start benching....pick ur barz up u ain't hard nuff I battled him left him star struck Mr. House ill hit him hit a A.R clip shoot in his face like J.R smith take u off the radar quick with this out the quasar shit and no at five barz I abuse the ceiling u bout to die hard like Bruce Willis make this dude bruised when I spill my true fillings put led in his mouth like a tooth fillin u could never beat me I build momentum constantly never reach peak velocity lyrical larcony if he tries to steal barz from me |
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Mr. House
Groupie Joined: 11 July 2013 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 343 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-3-0 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 05 March 2014 at 1:49pm |
Ahhh shit you said the same JR Smith line in your Titu battle...recycling is against the rules...is this battle not possible now?
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Kid Spitter
Newbie Joined: 24 February 2014 Status: Offline Points: 11 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
Posted: 05 March 2014 at 5:42pm |
I reused it on purpose cuz I thought that battle had expired cuz I couldn't find it
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I Bang Rhymes yea I Bang Rhymes
Hold the mic up that's my Gang Sign |
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Kid Spitter
Newbie Joined: 24 February 2014 Status: Offline Points: 11 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
Posted: 05 March 2014 at 5:45pm |
And I didn't wanna waste a good punchline for a battle that wouldn't have counted
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I Bang Rhymes yea I Bang Rhymes
Hold the mic up that's my Gang Sign |
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Mr. House
Groupie Joined: 11 July 2013 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 343 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-3-0 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 05 March 2014 at 9:14pm |
Yo he's been begging for a battle, saying anything to get a mention
It's left him desperate, but it makes sense since 'bold claims' is how 'kids gets attention'!* So I sent a message, settin up our battle, but your bars were hard to read though cos 'none of it hit' like a 'weak joke', and your 'lines were everywhere' like 'free coke'! You shoulda perceived me as a massive threat, next time you should plan ahead Since your rhymes are like a waterfall - the flow is good but then falls off at the end! Stamp his neck! Next time you pen a verse, try and work to make it fit you lazy bitch thinking you big like Jadakiss, this 'kid' got a 'bigger ego' than Jaden Smith!
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U.N.L.M.
Standard Member Joined: 19 December 2006 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1955 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-15-0 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 06 March 2014 at 3:30am |
Kid Splitter: A bunch of generic punchlines and no real direct lines at your opponent...Why not incorporate a punchline revolving around your opponent (Mr. House)?. Anything actually relevant to him? See how he used your name "kid" in a punchline with his opener. Anything to be actually direct. What you dropped could be dropped against anyone, that's not a good thing in such a short battle. Also, the fact that you had to recycle isn't a good look. First off, sort the structure to make it easier to read. Look at other drops and maybe read a tutorial to figure out the structure here and make it easier for people to read your verses...For instance, something like this
You 5 and 3 but u ain't surviving me u will die easily u facin me basically my verse is his eulogy usually I body real rappers what are u to me..... Also, the punchlines were pretty played in general...The lead/tooth fillin thing isn't really fresh and neither is the benching/pick up your bars idea. Stay up. Mr. House: Opener was a good idea although I think it would've been good to mention the actual claim in the setup so we don't need to read the link. "Saying he can beat anyone, lying just to get a mention" would've been a more effective use of the setup line IMO along with linking the thread...Little things like that help as you don't want your expos or links to do all the work - just to be a reference to something some people may not have read or known...Still, it was a solid opener...I wasn't feeling the second bar with the coke play...3rd bar was alright, a bit simple as well...Closer was a decent idea, but again could've been fleshed out with a better setup...Don't just throw in generic filler into your setups...Use them to connect to your punchline/punch and really beef up your bars...Stay up, you took this one pretty easily... V/Mr. House
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Kid Spitter
Newbie Joined: 24 February 2014 Status: Offline Points: 11 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
Posted: 06 March 2014 at 10:25pm |
How was I not direct I said his name like 3 times
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I Bang Rhymes yea I Bang Rhymes
Hold the mic up that's my Gang Sign |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Posted: 06 March 2014 at 10:33pm |
Round here we like to try and keep the battles clean of bullshit. Saves the mods time havin to clean up after you.
If you have a problem, report it to a mod. Battles should be kept to simply verses and votes. |
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