Topic ClosedHeat Wave: HW Text (Rd 2): Zinilli v Nomedic

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: HW Text (Rd 2): Zinilli v Nomedic
    Posted: 13 August 2015 at 7:48pm
Quarter Final: MARVELLOUS MAYHEM

Alias battle

Zin = Spider Man
http://marvel.com/characters/54/spider-man

Nomedic = Green Goblin
http://marvel.com/characters/852/green_goblin

16 lines max
Best of three votes from nominated JUDGES
Deadline = midnight, 23rd August
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2015 at 12:21am
killin you is like a holdin cell drill i got one call
thing we like more than a hero is to watch one fall
you got some balls to go neck and neck with me
ya web cant reach a vest thats deemed to connect with me
rest in peace inside a vast tomb you cant be exhumed
you a conceited chap who never needed tha black suit
take a pumkin bomb you ditched mary to fuck a blonde
son is wrong you the same reason why your uncles gone
i aint just droppin bombs i doubt this fag'll last
i bet this radio active flash will surely trash his ass
i have to ask how you a killer you just a bad liar
The wound i found fatal came from my own jet glider
you act righteous thinkin that you carry the torch
Show Harry my corpse I'll tell him Mary's a whore
when preparin for war dont carry a sword with blunt blades
And Ben aint living so i really dont think your aunt May
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2015 at 10:30pm

An arch rival; I should hog tie you just for fronting ya bitch
We both know that without Spiderman Green Goblin wouldn't exist
How would I feel fighting goblin? Just say it'd be nearly boredom
If you toss those bombs? I'm smashing pumpkins like Billy Corgan
A reptilian dressed as a jester? Stan musta been short on ideas
I've always looked at you as a joke; a villain that nobody fears
You're all technology. so natural abilities I know you don't got that
I'll show you mine when I attack you from inside the web like a botnet
You seem smart to some; but if you ask me somethings messed in your brain
If your dad died as goblin; why the fuck would you go and dress up the same?
You were created through a serum; that makes you an artifical villain
But this junkie's so dumb the side effects had nearly killed him
You've had a vendetta against me; but from what I understand he's worried
I thought it was all about me; but he's pissed he'll never have a chance with Mary
I'll snap a pic of you tangled in web; from a balcony dangling hater
And go to work and make sure the pic gets the front page of the paper
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2015 at 11:09pm
Nomedic

killin you is like a holdin cell drill i got one call 
thing we like more than a hero is to watch one fall
had to reread the first line but i liked this as an opener
you got some balls to go neck and neck with me
ya web cant reach a vest thats deemed to connect with me
wasnt feelin this too much
rest in peace inside a vast tomb you cant be exhumed
you a conceited chap who never needed tha black suit
this missed for me too, lacked insult/aggression
take a pumkin bomb you ditched mary to fuck a blonde
son is wrong you the same reason why your uncles gone
wording in the second line really made this effective, nice
i aint just droppin bombs i doubt this fag'll last
i bet this radio active flash will surely trash his ass
nope
i have to ask how you a killer you just a bad liar 
The wound i found fatal came from my own jet glider
theres potential in the killed by own jet glider thing but your angle wasnt very effective
you act righteous thinkin that you carry the torch
Show Harry my corpse I'll tell him Mary's a whore
when preparin for war dont carry a sword with blunt blades
And Ben aint living so i really dont think your aunt May
first bar was an okay jab with standout flow that you carried on to the next line, was really digging the aunt may wordplay. strong section, nice way to end it.

Zin

An arch rival; I should hog tie you just for fronting ya bitch
We both know that without Spiderman Green Goblin wouldn't exist
lol valid point. not a heavy hitting opener but wasnt bad at all 
How would I feel fighting goblin? Just say it'd be nearly boredom 
If you toss those bombs? I'm smashing pumpkins like Billy Corgan
thought this was nice. 
A reptilian dressed as a jester? Stan musta been short on ideas 
I've always looked at you as a joke; a villain that nobody fears
mmm execution coulda been a lot better here. wording in the punch was off.
You're all technology. so natural abilities I know you don't got that 
I'll show you mine when I attack you from inside the web like a botnet
this was dope
You seem smart to some; but if you ask me somethings messed in your brain 
If your dad died as goblin; why the fuck would you go and dress up the same?
hahah another solid punch
You were created through a serum; that makes you an artifical villain
But this junkie's so dumb the side effects had nearly killed him
this was wordy to me, decent angle tho just poor execution imo 
You've had a vendetta against me; but from what I understand he's worried
I thought it was all about me; but he's pissed he'll never have a chance with Mary
again wording in the punch sucked the sting out of this for me
I'll snap a pic of you tangled in web; from a balcony dangling hater 
And go to work and make sure the pic gets the front page of the paper
strong closing punch

really close battle. both had strong points as well as a few misses. pretty hard to judge who had the harder hits so this comes down to consistency. i felt Zins verse had fewer holes between the misses, and the misses werent quite as bad as some of nomeds lines. super close battle but I feel Zin edged it but a cunt hair

+1 Zinilli
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 August 2015 at 12:24am
Nomedic (Green Goblin) - I'll start with the technical stuff first rather than the content. Your rhyme and word usage were off in some of the bars. One example of not only the simple rhymes but the words that you used is the 2nd bar, using 'with me' to end both of those lines. Content was there as far as the relation to both the goblin and spiderman and what happened in the movie but it was portrayed a bit simple. I would have liked it to be a bit more creative as far as imagery goes especially since it's been in comics and the movies, I thought the details could have shined more. The closing bar you had a cool idea with the aunt may concept. It flowed well besides the starting couple of bars. I just being such specific alias's with spiderman vs goblin, your lines could have shown a bit more aggression to your enemy, spiderman. 

Zinaii (Spiderman) - I thought you were a bit better than nomedic as far as concepts in both spiderman and outside of it. However, the flow was a bit stiff for me. Some bars it seemed like you forgot words or just didn't write the line fluently. For example, "somethings messed in your brain" just doesn't sound fluid. Another example that doesn't sound fluid is "from a balcony dangling hater". The type of bars I liked were the ones that referenced the alias's but also showed a bit of creativity in writing as well. Examples are the smashing pumpkins and botnet bars. Mary line could have had a better twist or wording on it to sound a bit harsher. I thought it was presented too simple. 

MVGT: Zinaii - For one simple reason, he didn't just use the alias references to mold his verse. I thought both were pretty consistent as far as being their alias. However, the normal battling concept of punching and being creative still applies. I felt that some of nomadic's references were just that, more a statementish line that referenced something that happened in the movie. Examples would be the 'uncle dying', 'jet glider', I thought it would be twisted a bit more instead of basically just saying what happened. As far as Zin's, although some lines were more towards the just saying what happened, I thought he did a good job of both the references but also turning it into a more creative approach. The Pumpkin line for example, he didn't just make a reference to the goblin and the pumpkins, he was creative with it and turned into a Billy Corgan reference as well. Same as the botnet line. The technicalities were a bit even, both had good spots and spots that could be reworded. Either way, I enjoyed it reading the alias battle. 
Go my Minions!


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 August 2015 at 7:35am
Zin advances, great speed on the voting!!
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