Open Mic: "Chasing The Dragon" -Illiad Series

yea man, i was actually going to vote on this, but i hit the submit button and it was already moved to the archive, so this at least gives me a chance to comment. I like that you really put the imagery and dialogue in the front. . the flow was good, but i seems as if you would put slack on the leash but pull it back in the right moments. So when i was expecting it to falter a bit, you pulled it right back into the pocket. I personally didnt really like the topic this go around, but im glad there are writers like you around here that can take a topic like this and make it enjoyable and entertaining to read. You guys had a really good battle and produced top notch verses . . . good shit fam. 

Exo The Flex Show




I'm not lookin' for Heroin but I've been chasin' the dragon-
Can't put a face to this Maverick or place his advancements-
Late night stake outs Casing this savage-
My entire trace has been erased, complacent & stagnant-

out the gate the stutter/pause on erased was sick. using the word Maverick is a gooder. all and all, dope opening.


Face it he hasn't left a clue... just a taste for his madness-
Watching you kill my father really got my mind twisted quick-


uh-oh, Exo on his Ingio Montoya right now lol.


For years you left my spine tingling with blind differences-

word placements on deck.

Should I join a life of fire in this crime syndicate-
Cus at any time I could be aligned from divine distances-
While my time inches by cus I can't find witnesses-
The Dragon is breathing all this heat on the street-
So I did the opposite & became NY chief of police-

shit. did we just go departed? the Dragon plays are nice. im digging the angle.


All that evil unleashed on innocent people he reached-
Hell is rising & I can feel it underneath each of my feet-
I'm reachin' my peak when My phone rings from a certain informant-
"yeah Jim you got good news or you just gonna worsen my torment"-
"Believe me Chief I have a great lead and this persons important"-
He nervously warned me that he saw the Dragon and he could fire back-

excellent use of building the narrative. brief convo, full of story. slick.

But now we got an audio visual through all tha' years of wire taps-
I'm split if I should go rouge or try to stay within the numbers-
I need to rid my mind of this decay and out my slumber-
Waited years for this vengeance & when the prey becomes the hunter-
I know who and where he is so I'm gonna beat him at his own game-
climbing the roof thinkin' how the bullet gonna reach & eat thru his whole frame-
A slow pain, I can see my breath on this cold winter night-
I could go to jail for murder as I dive my soul into fright-

the moral dilemma got me too bro. im like is the chief gonna throw away all these years, the pension, the watch, just for some clown?


Damn I'm gettin bold as I grip the trigger, holdin' it tight-
My heart is ready & my feet steady as I wipe the sweat from my brow-
heart beat is deafening now, beads of sweat drop from the roof like confetti to crowds-
Will I ever get down from this horrible high, I'm filled with this sorrow inside-
I feel the Dragon has borrowed my mind, He's in my cross hairs I'm suppose to pounce when-
I finally realize I turned into the evilness that I hate most about him.....

ah shit! you just gonna leave us hanging? did he go through with it? what the fuck.


I loved what you did within the line limit. the story had a banging pace. I felt right in the mix. the different tones, and subtle scheme switches kept everything fresh for me, as a reader. you've created a real good backdrop. you got some real solid characters. this was real dope man.

Man...

You killed this shit in cold fuckin blood my dude.

Hell, this was more than just a verse. It was an American take on an Asian crime drama. I could easily picture a young Donnie Yen playing the lead in a a gritty New York backdrop. Your words instantly formed pictures and scenes in my mind. You had very cinematic moments of writing in this drop. It was dark, gritty, and intense like a Nolan film. In terms of flow you're in the echelon of top tier writers when it comes to that. You effortless controlled the rhyming while delivering line after line of visual aid. It's a beautiful thing to observe and extremely impressive to read. Great entry fam. I'm gonna read it a few more times just for fun.


Peace..

ill feed tomorrow and be ready for a response sons. Aint nobodu chasing duh dragon wigga. I gotchu sonzoo

The opener got right into the dirty dirty. Nice making sure you aren't a heroin addict lol. You painted a nasty picture of The Dragon. Nice that you incorporated that he killed your father and there is revenge in your blood. that makes it a little more personal when you are reading this. Gives good intent and reasoning behind your character. All your mechanics are on point as usual and topical writing is dope as shit as always. Ill have a response to keep this side of the story popping and add more depth. The ending was completely unexpected. I was sure you were going to kill my character off like an asshole lol. You didn't though so boomshakalaka.