Open Mic: Damien [ILLiad vol.6]

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A stench swept the city, that foul fog is choking
Killers roam, so folks hope, they don’t, cross a Ronin
Everybody knows…those clouds are gathering
Death cloaking souls like a shroud of mannequins
Spreads like a cancer Jin…
Questions need answering!!
Like how the fuck did we fall off the wagon?!
Or who put the fire in the belly of Dragons?
Allow me to reintroduce myself! We met before…
Back when Cubes went off the rails & begged for more!
I’m that, dastardly Damien, deranged - damned, get it?
Sent by an angel…but I ain’t angelic
Making deals with lost souls, delivering riches
But they gotta pay the toll, like at the river of Styx, kid
Snatching babies from Hades, give em back to crack mommas
Throwing stock tips to the lips of fat tax dodgers
There’s always craving and lust to feed my supply
I’m the conduit ensuring that evil survives
Trading opportunity in this life at the price of the next
I’m the darkest loan shark that’s bound to collect!
An ounce of your flesh! And the rest of ya spirit…
Trust me, there’s no suggests a request is off limits
It’s all drugs and violence, judges silenced
Thugs divided by lust for islands, shoved to ISIS
I can do anything!! I’m above limitation
The one you come to for no recrimination!!
The hand behind drug wars and when the price is due
I’m the reason it’s not YOUR bust up in the nightly news!
The chief of police owes me for a little hit and run
And the Mayor got my back for what I did for her son
The choice is yours, with only one chance beneath you
Will you cross my palm or bite the hand that feeds you?

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Cuba Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Cuba Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Damien [ILLiad vol.6] Posted: 24 March 2017 at 9:03pm
	A stench swept the city, that foul fog is choking Killers roam, so folks hope, they don’t, cross a Ronin Everybody knows…those clouds are gathering Death cloaking souls like a shroud of mannequins Spreads like a cancer Jin… Questions need answering!! Like how the fuck did we fall off the wagon?! Or who put the fire in the belly of Dragons? Allow me to reintroduce myself! We met before… Back when Cubes went off the rails & begged for more! I’m that, dastardly Damien, deranged - damned, get it? Sent by an angel…but I ain’t angelic Making deals with lost souls, delivering riches But they gotta pay the toll, like at the river of Styx, kid Snatching babies from Hades, give em back to crack mommas Throwing stock tips to the lips of fat tax dodgers There’s always craving and lust to feed my supply I’m the conduit ensuring that evil survives Trading opportunity in this life at the price of the next I’m the darkest loan shark that’s bound to collect! An ounce of your flesh! And the rest of ya spirit… Trust me, there’s no suggests a request is off limits It’s all drugs and violence, judges silenced Thugs divided by lust for islands, shoved to ISIS I can do anything!! I’m above limitation The one you come to for no recrimination!! The hand behind drug wars and when the price is due I’m the reason it’s not YOUR bust up in the nightly news! The chief of police owes me for a little hit and run And the Mayor got my back for what I did for her son The choice is yours, with only one chance beneath you Will you cross my palm or bite the hand that feeds you?


Exoduzt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Exoduzt Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 March 2017 at 3:17am
	Cubes great to see an OG posting again especially someone of your caliber. Your opening bar is pretty dope. The flow was great. I did have to google Ronin tho cus I never heard of it lol. Your next three bars was classic Cuba style. I have always been a fan of your rhyme scheme and your ability to word things. The short bars really packs a punch. That crack mommas tax dodgers shit was dope!. That to me sounded like something I would write. I'm loving you character build up as the lone shark who takes no prisoners so to speak. that price of the next bound to collect was really nice and really brought your character into the light with his darkness if that makes sense. the judges silences shoved to ISIS bar was fucking top notch my man. I loved that part the flow was just crazy. Then you followed it up with the nightly news line. Nice. Closer was dope I love the way you ended it. Left it open for more verses. Also you mentioned the chief of police...thats the character I created in my verse. You just opened up a whole brand new story to this. Collab maybe? This was great Cubes. For not posting in a while you really didn't miss a step. This was dope cubes...glad to see you posting again.


SELF ACTIVATE Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL	Post Options Post Reply Quote SELF ACTIVATE Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 March 2017 at 9:24pm
	So I'd Damien Trump? Let's find out. LoL. Dope fuckin shit my dude. Firstly, I think the picture complimented the content perfectly and set the ideal tone and atmosphere for the entire drop. Secondly, I think you had some incredibly good imagery in this drop. I could get a real sense of who this deal-maker was suppose to be and the shady office he represented. Classic deal with the Devil tale here, but told in a fresh and creative way. At no point did I feel burdened or overwhelmed while reading this. In fact, I was so involved I wanted the story to keep going. Truly dope stuff, Cubes. Props.

Brotha Goose Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 07 July 2013 Location: San Diego, CA Status: Offline Points: 2318 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 10-10-0 Form: LWLWLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote Brotha Goose Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 March 2017 at 11:45pm
	Whenever I read a verse from you i'm never surprised by how good it is, that's because your topical writing game is next level shit! This particular verse was sick fam and written on a pretty dope premise. "A stench swept the city, that foul fog is choking, Killers roam, so folks hope, they don’t, cross a Ronin, Everybody knows…those clouds are gathering, Death cloaking souls like a shroud of mannequins, Spreads like a cancer Jin… Questions need answering!!" *-FIRE!!!* ALSO... "Making deals with lost souls, delivering riches, But they gotta pay the toll, like at the river of Styx, kid, Snatching babies from Hades, give em back to crack mommas, Throwing stock tips to the lips of fat tax dodgers." *Dope with the multis!* The whole verse was fire Cubes, reading your drops is always a pleasure.


Cuba Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Cuba Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 March 2017 at 12:22pm
	Thanks for the feed guys... @Exo, I didn't even click when reading your verse that we'd both created a chief of police character. That's dope & that could be an immense collab...seems like it could be another great conflict for your character. Feeling bad about a hit & run but balancing that against the good he does in his role combating the Illiad syndicate. Maybe one to explore after IC2? Also gives someone else an opportunity to tell the story of the mayor. Which I didn't really consider either but that could be an interesting one too.


Exoduzt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Exoduzt Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 March 2017 at 4:07pm
	Hell yeah Cubes. Lets get on it after IC2.


iLL ScriptureZ Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote iLL ScriptureZ Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 March 2017 at 5:17pm
	First I'd like to apologize as I thought I had fed this already. B/c when I started reading it... I was like I've read this! Then I searched for my feedback and it wasn't there. Anyway... I'm not going to acknowledge your rhymes specifically in the breakdown because they are mostly of high level. At your tier of writing, I'm more of the content at this point. A stench swept the city, that foul fog is choking Killers roam, so folks hope, they don’t, cross a Ronin Everybody knows…those clouds are gathering Death cloaking souls like a shroud of mannequins Yes..yes.. fuck yes. This is what I call an intro! You immediately grab the reader by delivering their senses. To me I imagine the stench that is Philadelphia lol That smog that covers the city and just the scene you illustrated brought the reader in. Spreads like a cancer Jin… Questions need answering!! Like how the fuck did we fall off the wagon?! Or who put the fire in the belly of Dragons? Allow me to reintroduce myself! We met before… Back when Cubes went off the rails & begged for more! Okay, now we are starting to continue the gained steam from the opener and introduce some character quality along with some questions. I like how this not only brings up a character but also at the same time includes a past. I’m that, dastardly Damien, deranged - damned, get it? Sent by an angel…but I ain’t angelic Making deals with lost souls, delivering riches But they gotta pay the toll, like at the river of Styx, kid Awesome alliteration in the first line. The second was really heavy and gave Damien quality. And the last 2 support that. That similie though... Snatching babies from Hades, give em back to crack mommas Throwing stock tips to the lips of fat tax dodgers There’s always craving and lust to feed my supply I’m the conduit ensuring that evil survives In love with the last 2 lines here... the depth provides does not go unnoticed Trading opportunity in this life at the price of the next I’m the darkest loan shark that’s bound to collect! An ounce of your flesh! And the rest of ya spirit… Trust me, there’s no suggests a request is off limits The angle you used here was pure. Everything is connecting and delivering on how this guy is. That loan shark line is fire. It’s all drugs and violence, judges silenced Thugs divided by lust for islands, shoved to ISIS I can do anything!! I’m above limitation The one you come to for no recrimination!! The hand behind drug wars and when the price is due I’m the reason it’s not YOUR bust up in the nightly news! The chief of police owes me for a little hit and run And the Mayor got my back for what I did for her son The choice is yours, with only one chance beneath you Will you cross my palm or bite the hand that feeds you? I really really really enjoyed the ending. It opened up for more interaction with other characters but also questioning the character within people he interacts. I liked the incorporation of city officials and the dirt that either them or family members have been involved in that he was also involved in. I thought this was so good man.