Identity Crisis 2: IC2 Round One: Battler 15 vs Battler 18 - 15 WINS

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Battler 15

The first bars killed the vibe. You gotta start strong.
You had some rhythm going but you chopped it up a bit much,
Honest it was a tough read, I had to be going back to previous lines to find a rhyme and I couldn't even get what the story was trying to tell me.

Also, just because it's a new line, doesn't mean the previous "thought" of the line before has to end. You can continue the same train of thought line to line with consistent flow that will carry the story quite nicely


Battler 18

Dope submission, clean crisp, consistent rhyme scheme throughout. A nice blend of rhyme schemes to keep it fresh and the beat flowing, prevented stale and predictable lines

"Fascist fashionista attaching to passive people
I passed the class on evil me and Satan equal"

Sick bar. You played the "sh" sound and the "p" sound well and you were able to carry it through without missing a beat

I was skeptical of the ending but re read and ended up loving it, the quick short lines pick up the new rhyme scheme nicely without giving the reader time to question what's going on.


MVGT
Battler 18
Start to finish great submission, displays a strong grasp of writing

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Battler 15

The phantom of the Operah chillin in the Altima
Masked Pussies just Fakes that smell like octopus
A Dark mind on a Black & White Back Drop is Not Optional
Beauty in death kisses definate as the blind eye loosing it's Opticals
To many Skeletons in the closet to be hidden if that could be possible
The symbolism of subconcious thoughts manifested into one image
The kind of shit i wont interpret because this bitch is twisted
Pilgrim's on that oh so evil voodoo witch tip dressed in vintage
Haunted essence of the memoirs of a grieving widow's last request
She brings goose bumps all over so bitter up until her last breath
She went to hell and was never gifted reunion with her lost lover
Seeking revenge against god's wrath seperating one from the other

(firstly feeling the poetic stance here,i like the story your bringing thus far,the vibe that even in death bitterness plagues,and to be honest i found your loose rhyme scheme
enjoyable,it seemed to highlight this segment in an unusual way,the dropping in and out of rhymes seemed to add focus to your point you want ppl to comprehend whilst
reading,like a marker underlining key words say,your vocab was also good here as to
the contents also,with misery entow this was a good start..)

The ocean's sirin during the first take with a smile that captivates
A banshiee of modern day posing as a saint so she can mask the hate
Like A preying mantis in wait to decapitate her hand grips your fate
SHe enjoys the game, loving to play, there is no fun without the chase
She pours black ink from her heart into the words written on her paper
How she is evil but secretly preys her soul gets rescued by some savior
Writes how she wishes that one day she'll be forgiven for her behavior
Shes Angry inside that she died falling to darkness all by herself
She cried out loud to god when it happened but noone came to help
She drowned her faith in rage and lost sight of the truth
she was scared to death not knowing what to do
So she lashed out but paid the price of eternal suffering alone
Addicted to a demon's life but can still hear god calling her home

(this segment was better than the 1st in my opinion,not only for it being better in rhyming,but there was more detail to take on board too,although her fate and to
some extent her environment is set,I get the impression that she impish more than
an evil entity or demon,throw in the mixture love and self sorrow and it becomes
easy to see why she became bitter and twisted,dying alone has got to be 1 of the
saddest things that can happen to a person,especially when the love of your life died 1st and your left to wallow in grief and resentment,that's the vividness you brought
to this piece,the emotions were evident and captured well and subtly on the whole,
nice verse i enjoyed the read..)




Battler 18

I'm a violent vibrant virus leaving you with no hope,/

Your body's just a host for the parties I promote,/

Hardly a joke, harshly I choke, victims with a dose,/

My toxins leave you comatose, now death is close/

Don't mean to boast but I go coast to coast,/

To find the most vulnerable to turn to ghost,/

Finally found a female and her weakness was visible,/

My moves were critical and pivotal sneaking like a criminal,/

Turn ten toes to tentacles and make her arms identical,/

Unsuspecting victim reading a book in her living room,/

Now I'm giving doom, as I'm attempting to bend the rules,/

Consume her physical form now her mental is torn,/

Her body deformed I swarmed and formed,/

(Yep I thought you did well with using the same sounding vowels here,you stressed
them well together to be honest,and the line lengths were also a nice inclusion as it
aides with the flow/tempo,plus it couples up to a pacey read that is easy on the eye
too,now not only did you stress the vowels but you throw in some multi words as well,this isn't an easy thing to do as the pool of words you have to use has to be thought out to make them fit,so props there,i also like your concept/angle here of a virus,creative that,yeah I'm feeling this segment..)

While she was just warm and unwarned,/

Treat her like an accessory her skin was worn,/

Fascist fashionista attaching to passive people,/’

I passed the class on evil me and Satan equal,/

6 skulls in the curio so I’ve been causing upheaval,/

My victimizing way passed the sequel I’m lethal/

Far from peaceful deceitful death makes me gleeful,/

Her anatomy is where I dwell,/

Employing hell destroying cells/

Causing health to fail making her frail,/

I excel and win, my presence spell the end,/

There’s no chance to fend, off the signals I send,/

(this segment was no different from the 1st one,which shows you was focused on writing this piece,and with the stance you took on the short line route,you did well to
pull the words out of shape to make them say more than their intended use,hence the
detail and imagery, was left for the reader to fill in the blanks,and it worked just fine here,the content/slants have been really good throughout this drop,i've enjoyed your depiction your conveying,solid verse..)

Overall this is going to boil down to preference when voting up,both of you brought a
solid offering to the table here,but for me I got more of a kick on reading from Battler 18,i liked the course he's take on the picture took,it was orignal and fresh throughout,
props to both as this may be a. close run affair,that could be a seesaw effect when the votes come in..


Vote...battker 18..peace.

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Posted from mobile, so can't go too in depth.

Battler 15:

Flow is incredibly choppy for me. Some lines are pretty stretches and a few of the multis don't work syllable wise. The content however was very dope. Set a great tone and incredibly descriptive in terms of story telling.

Battler 18:

The exact opposite, really. Flow is steady throughout, with better structured lines. Some felt a bit short which messed the flow up for me. I.e. segment in the middle. I loved the angle too in which you went from A (possession) to Z (destruction.)

Vote: Battler 15

It's an incredibly tough battle to vote on because both excel where the other is weak. Since both have flow issues I look at how well the story is told in regards to the picture. While 18 took a literal route, I just loved the way 15 is going about it. While the opening of 15 is meh the ending is pretty much brilliant.