Open Mic: Lando Calrissian

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    ...Aint shit change but the rhyme pattern...

Walk with me
...

Life's like a dartboard, the bull's eye's the money
It's funny 'cause you're at the top in your 20's
You'll have to aim lower to...nah never mind 
The metaphor was flawed like our lives, by design
Like this rhyme, for your mind, it's that food for thought rap
Never plain 'cause it's flyer than an airline snack
Kayakking through the motions, to the flow I adapt
I'm the future like my dad had crystal balls in his nut sack
Rugrat traumas made me read into y'all ways
I was one for the books...even as a paige
Turned a new leaf 'cause they judged me by my cover
Turned into a knight at the end of day for my mother
Fear is not the answer, in fact it is a cancer
Me, I choose to grow and branch out like deer antlers
That is so gangster I am leaning like a rope-a-dope
Teaming up with champions destined to be G.O.A.T's
In a ghost town full of guys that are loose cannons
It goes down while they're high like a moon landing

I'm Lando Calrissian...

It's a movie when I break commandments, it's Cinemax 
Facts, I was put on game by some sinning macks
I was 15, going on 30 like a tennis match
Breaking ties over the net appeasing wolfpacks
Beefing with the fam, I was breaking all my pacts
Blood was much thicker than coronary plaque 
Satan asked Hades to add me to the group chat 
You'd think they'd be the types that type in ALL CAPS
Wrong...nobody said anything I * sighed * 
To break the awkward silence messing up the whole vibe
Hades was typing a message for what seemed like...
3 days and 3 nights and then he said 'hi' 
And then I said 'nah', and Satan asked 'why' 
Cupid said 'LOL' and then I said 'bye' 

Edited by CHAIN - 17 April 2017 at 10:22pm

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CHAIN Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote CHAIN Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Lando Calrissian Posted: 17 April 2017 at 10:17pm
	...Aint shit change but the rhyme pattern... Walk with me ... Life's like a dartboard, the bull's eye's the money It's funny 'cause you're at the top in your 20's You'll have to aim lower to...nah never mind The metaphor was flawed like our lives, by design Like this rhyme, for your mind, it's that food for thought rap Never plain 'cause it's flyer than an airline snack Kayakking through the motions, to the flow I adapt I'm the future like my dad had crystal balls in his nut sack Rugrat traumas made me read into y'all ways I was one for the books...even as a paige Turned a new leaf 'cause they judged me by my cover Turned into a knight at the end of day for my mother Fear is not the answer, in fact it is a cancer Me, I choose to grow and branch out like deer antlers That is so gangster I am leaning like a rope-a-dope Teaming up with champions destined to be G.O.A.T's In a ghost town full of guys that are loose cannons It goes down while they're high like a moon landing I'm Lando Calrissian... It's a movie when I break commandments, it's Cinemax Facts, I was put on game by some sinning macks I was 15, going on 30 like a tennis match Breaking ties over the net appeasing wolfpacks Beefing with the fam, I was breaking all my pacts Blood was much thicker than coronary plaque Satan asked Hades to add me to the group chat You'd think they'd be the types that type in ALL CAPS Wrong...nobody said anything I * sighed * To break the awkward silence messing up the whole vibe Hades was typing a message for what seemed like... 3 days and 3 nights and then he said 'hi' And then I said 'nah', and Satan asked 'why' Cupid said 'LOL' and then I said 'bye' Edited by CHAIN - 17 April 2017 at 10:22pm
	+Sick-Witted+

daydizzle89 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote daydizzle89 Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 April 2017 at 4:09pm
	Usually im all over reading a piece from you. Usually you blow my mind with your work. Usually i sit there and contemplate geometrical computations in the 8th dimension while reading your shit. This.... Lets just say that i was expecting Typical Chain. First Verse - The opening was a let down for me. It had a very basic rhyme scheme and the end rhymes were pretty basic. Still held a flow but at points it was cut short and i thought i would catch the next bar with some more complex writing. For me this verse was ehhhh. Not the typical Chain worthy verse. Second Verse - That opener felt very forced from you. It was generic and left me questioning the content. This had that simple scheme that really didnt take off. I was waiting for those chain bars that merk shit. It never came to fruition. Overall - Im dissapointed. This was an ok piece but with your level of skills, i was expecting more bite and schemes. The end rhymes fell flat, the internals lacked, imagery lacked and content never fully developed.

-Orion- Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Veteran Joined: 08 April 2004 Location: DisturbinLondon Status: Offline Points: 9598 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: #1 Stats: 90-4-1 Form: WWWWNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote -Orion- Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 April 2017 at 9:13pm
	Bad man I like what you did with it...and it was kinda refreshing not for it to be ridiculously rhymetastic Innovate
	. . . Now who said they fuckin' with me? They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . .

Sammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Sammy Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 April 2017 at 11:51pm
	lmao well this is certainly a departure from your conventional piece but i honestly like this. One of the strong suit of ur style is the way u weave themes and imagery together forming a cohesive idea. You're very consistent with it. its never random and you piece it together like a jigsaw. this was no different. the ideas are sporadic (at least to me) but the themes interwove between ideas well staying true to ur tried method. the 2nd part i had a harder time getting into. it felt a bit too erratic for me. i might've just read it wrong, idk. overall, definitely not a bad read. well done, sir.


rhetorical Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL	Post Options Post Reply Quote rhetorical Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 April 2017 at 2:38am
	i wonder how many people actually know who Lando is lol. itll probably go over some heads, and honestly, the verse in entirety is really good when you put it against the actual character. i didnt have a lot of problems. even without crazy multis and internals everywhere, i found the end ryhmes and like sounding words enough to hold it all together, i dont even really care that you may have other works that are better, it dont detract from this being a cool read. you are one of the writers id really like to collab with. i think our styles would mesh well. . . please feel free to hit me up if you ever want to take me up on my offer. pzz


Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 April 2017 at 11:13am
	Yeah i liked this offering here,although this is different to your usual pieces that we read from you,it still just as ripe,your comparison words were solid and popping off here,as too were the similes/metaphors,the dartboard concept,(and it was a concept in its own right) and the airline/snack were well thought out,and that was just the opening,i like this experimental CHAIN,it's great to see that even you are pushing boundaries in your pursuit of poetry,and your not resting on your laurels either by being static,because in essence you could if desired do that and still be the shit, You do craft splendid rhymes,and for me here was no different,I'm going to quit waffling and just type RIPE!!..peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

Trizzy Tre Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Trizzy Tre Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 May 2017 at 1:58pm
	Impressive as always bro... This is Chain in the zone. Line by line your creativity shines, even the subtle angles you took in certain spots is killer. Lots of quotables.. I was 15, going on 30 like a tennis match Breaking ties over the net appeasing wolfpacks Beefing with the fam, I was breaking all my pacts Blood was much thicker than coronary plaque Satan asked Hades to add me to the group chat You'd think they'd be the types that type in ALL CAPS Wrong...nobody said anything I * sighed * To break the awkward silence messing up the whole vibe ^^^^..... This was my favorite bar. Clever clever stuff man. Always an enjoyable read.