Open Mic: The Parables Of Man

This piece read like silk, satin, and slime...(so fuckin seemless) and never sacrificed content in the process. The cadence in line after line made it impossible to stop reading, and to top it of it seemed as if you were navigating me through this. Starting in the shallow water and then gradually moving into the deep end without letting go in the middle like some writers tend to do.

Aiii.. so let's dip our toes in the water...

I sit upon the mountain top and overlook the city
There's an ocean of stars and below they seem so busy---(great visual)
Such commotion it's a pity how they choose to use their time
They're so focused on the pennies that they don't pursue the dimes
Although, each token is as worthless when compared to what is true
Like the feeling that's produced when the summer skies are blue
... Or chasing butterflies in June with your cousins at the zoo ... ---(nice transition and internal rhyming)

^^^Right here, the imagery is so innocent, I don't know what I'm really getting into... but the water is fine

... Until you come of age and you understand the truth ...
... Then you start to view the cage as in•hu•mane and cruel ...
... See life is but a school for the student and the muse ... --->(nice)
... An institute of elevation thanks to Buddha & Hey Zeus ...
While Cupid and Anubis stand as symbols of emotion
Such as love and devotion meant to shrivel up psychosis
Make some sense of the remoteness, bring the picture into focus
I don't know, if you know this, on the universal totem
Every spirit has a modem, thus suggesting a connection

^^^ warning no diving** this place isn't quite as it seems, Im only knee deep... I like how you move from imagery to insight.... without missing a beat...Water is still fine.

To a neurological .. network so complex it makes up an avatar
Of which we're subatomic parts to the god we're living in
Like the cells inside our bodies unaware of who we are ----(this has often crossed my mind on some osmosis jones type shit although a horrible movie)

Yet coexistence is contingent on an adam, who's in charge?---(so nice)
We are all the evening stars and we came from afar
The cosmic garden where we blossomed once a particle was sparked! ---(nice)
You should harvest food for thought it's nutritious for the soul
And brings solace to the heart! For the soldiers on the march
That forged their swords to spar with Mars, may you morally object
To any war that causes harm to the innocent and poor
Or forces tyranny abroad and for the spiritually absolved
I pray you all get involved for the sake of Brother Paul
"What of Satan and The Fallen?", well some angels were enthralled
By his vanity and awe and gave him aid to break the law
Thus they made a fatal flaw, but there's danger in each cause
So you better battle boldly or be mangled in the brawl
They may hang you from a cross near a manger made of straw
Tho that only kills the ego if your credo has resolve --(flow insane)

^^^ I am waist deep... I'm starting to question wtf is going on below me, there is so much detail in this part, it is written amazingly ...I'm too far in now and I'll be damn if I stop here... easily you went from imagery, to insight, to intriguing. Your wording is phenomenal with no over usage of vocabulary but extraordinary rhyming using sounds rather than perfect rhymes... I really enjoy a read like this...it's complex without being too complex for a simpleton like myself.

The mosquito and the wasp both share the same goal
To evolve at any cost! Charles Darwin is at fault!
Cause 'Survival of the Fittest' is a theory proven false
We are merely just a moth that is drawn to a flame
In the memory of Thoth ... feel the chemical redraw
As I reel you off the sauce: a placebo that you bought
"I was feeble and exhausted with a fever and a cough!"
No, a sickness of the mind engineered to keep you caught
In a web made of lies by the spiders in your thoughts--- (fucking whoa!)
That convince you that you're lost in a mental holocaust
Or the Synagogue of Sodom where the sinners are assaulted
Near the pillars made of salt! Scared to hear this monologue < ----(the same multi for several lines with an inner changing internal rhyme scheme! Fan fucking tastic and never sacrificed content. So nice)

^^^ up to my shoulders, holy shit...the water is deep, everything above is quote worthy... innocence is long gone, now informed.. continuing on to the following....

...... Are the enemies of all and the military men .......
Who do fiendishly exalt pseudo tutors as their scholars
Whom may teach them how to conquer tho empires go impoverished
If they have no code of honor or enlightened holy prophets
Like the Poet and the Watcher whom may show them how to prosper
And turn oil into water or dry soil into tropics
Via spoils of a knowledge that has long been forgotten
By the royals and the gnostics; back when Moses was a shaman
To the pharaoh Tutankhamen I was shelling out the dharma
And dispelling all the dogma that rebelled against the conscience!
Tho the Devil is a charmer you should kick him in a well
As you yell "This is Sparta and this 'L' is for your karma!"---> Fantastic
Settin' sail East of Hell without a nail in your armor
On a presidential pardon from Michelle and Obama
For the sale of marijuana cos the miracle of ganja should be shareable
And sponsored by a charity or Pharma, but apparently that's nonsense
... No one cares unless they profit off the therapy of Chronic ...

^^^Shredding water now... flow is impeccable, again this is a very vivid read .devil in the details, most definitely does not lack details.

Ask the chairmen and the doctors or the taxmen in their pockets
... Politicians on the dockets, fuckin fascist economics!---> (whoa)
In a colony of dummies no one rations out their money ----> (tell it)
All they do is shop and buy so why's it shocking when they die
Broke and bummy with no tie .. over luxury designs?
So corrupted by their pride that they can't stomach humble pie--->(got damn!)
Pluck the Sun right out the sky, then I plunge it in the ocean
Let it soak until it's glowless, in the hopes that I can show them
Golden trophies hold no bonus to a yogi in the lotus
With a halo over dome .. meditating on a poem
In a massive super nova where the gases might explode!
I should close this with an omen or quotations from Jehovah
But all I got is "Ohmmmm" as I wake you from the coma!--->(nice)
~The Watcher's the persona~ --->> (wow...full circle...definitely puts things into perspective)

^^^ was I just floppin around in a puddle? .... hell nah, that was eye opening to say the least, incredible writing, I enjoyed this very much, and look forward to reading more.

The imagert and personification in the 2 opening lines already had me rapt into this piece. Then the multi rhyme scheme and that sick ass so focused on the pennies they dont pursue the dimes line was hard as fuck. Wow when you said shrivel up psycosis that blew my mind but what poetic device is that? I'm just curious cuz i love that kinda stuff. Wow!! To the god were living in line was awesome i've had similar lines but didnt word em as well as you did. Adam/charger/garden/blossomed in/particle was sparked ... Wow and the last few stanzas were just as potent as the rest. I don't know what to tell ya, i think you're beyond needing criticism