Text Battle Archive: Rapper T vs Vellum |
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Vellum
Standard Member Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
Topic: Rapper T vs Vellum Posted: 04 August 2018 at 8:29pm |
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House rules
4 bars |
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Vellum
Standard Member Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 09 August 2018 at 7:13pm | |||||||
If he don't get his bars up imma leave him scarred up
Certainly, I'm "serving T" like "Baristas at Starbucks!!" You a straight dummy who's "fake money" like the "dollars dudes Counterfeit! I'll tear a "rapper T at the seems" like my "PAC shirt when I grew out of it!!" Quit rapping kid forget it... It's a fact you pathetic My bet is you "taking and L_T" like ur "kidnapping a lieutenant!!" Im droppin writtens to leave this piece of shit rocked in minutes He should because "tease a bitch" like a "male stripper's job description!!//(t's a bitch) |
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Vellum
Standard Member Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 09 August 2018 at 7:15pm | |||||||
Expo
LT=lieutenant abbreviated |
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Vellum
Standard Member Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 09 August 2018 at 8:34pm | |||||||
*he should quit because Tease a bitch like a male stripper's job description!
Had to fix the typo |
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Rapper T
Suspended Joined: 25 November 2013 Location: NZ Status: Offline Points: 1423 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-27-0 Form: LLLWLW |
Posted: 15 August 2018 at 4:58am | |||||||
Damn dude… Thought you was aiit ‘til this ‘deVellumment’ happened’ But shit, your bars more stretched than you was mountin’ a canvas (stretcher bar)
Valencia … Let
me exspain, see, you just not in Don league They see
T before V like footy watchin’ on screen
I mean, you
CAN'T even set up a punch, like you got small arms I’m callin’
T REX steez cos you about to fall hard (wrecks)
While I’m
at it V, ellumy to actually smash him (allow me) You'll take
the L-V like you got ‘bag’ged for the fashion (Louis Vuitton) |
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Mission
Standard Member Joined: 13 September 2014 Location: Madison. MS Status: Offline Points: 2291 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-9-1 Form: LWLLLN |
Posted: 16 August 2018 at 4:39am | |||||||
This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Man this wasn't half bad, bro. I"ma break this down bar by bar who won Bar 1 - T got this. While I loved that baristas at starbucks line, Rapper T used your name as well, and in the follow up line he not only used an equal metaphor, but also a direct flip/response to your verse which, did indeed have some very stretched bars. Bar 2 - V got this. Rapper T, you kept a good flow bro, and the footy line was clever, but the set up and punch in the "pac shirt" line was a bigger punch to me, also carried some humor as well. Had more energy and I felt like it was a more original metaphor. Bar 3 - V got this. I felt both bars were kind of weak, but V definitely had a more original punch, you were creative T, but the T rex wordplay has been done a thousand times, gotta be more original to get the green light from me. Bar 4 - V gets this one, but barely. V, the punch was a nice setup, but that bar was hella stretched. T, I liked the nameplay and the LV metaphor was pretty clever, however I don't feel like getting bagged for fashion hits as hard as being a strippers job description, that's just cold bro. Overall here, T had better flow, V had better Cadence, T had better delivery, V had harder punches. At the end of the day, a good battle, but one person came hitting more consistently than the other. Good match y'all. MVGT - Vellum
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Ridley Squat
Street Team Joined: 20 November 2015 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 830 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-6-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 16 August 2018 at 8:26pm | |||||||
This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Velloom
Nitpicking though, as I do, 'Certainly' comes across as odd word choice in an otherwise gangsta bar ... but I know it's there as a multi, so it does it's job. Setup was a cool way to start too. Can see you mean business. (I hope for his sake he gets his bars up.)
Also ... *seams
So, another OK bar, but I'm personally not feeling this one as a concept. Also, setup not really related to the punch.
I cannot endorse the rhyming of minutes with description. Also, setup not really related to the punch. Rappity
But then the punch ... I mean I get the play, and it was a nice concept but it doesn't scan at all for me. What would have saved it is if it was reworded to rhyme more than the last 2 syllables only ... but as it is, it just highlights that the whole thing depends on 'happened' rhyming with 'canvas' ... and I really don't think it does.
I wish I'd missed more, to be honest. There are some decent elements here; combining the T&V from your names you were onto something really good, but I don't feel it really came together. It maybe that I was still traumatised by the 'exspain' wordplay in the setup...
Is it so bad it's good? Or just so bad? Well benefit of the doubt, assume that that in itself is good ... what happens when you substitute it in the wordplay that should always work both ways ... 1. While I’m at it V, allow me to actually smash him (ok but are you talking to him or us?) 2. While I’m at it Vellumy to actually smash him (what the fuck are you saying dude?) Punch had potential but could've been worded better. Oh, and setup not really related to the punch. Jerry's final thought I actually thought this was quite close. Cos V did what V does, and was more or less consistent following the tired and tested formula ... (no typo, no homo) but does need to avoid relying on similes, (this short piece reminded me of this other battle that I will try and link, as it has a LIKE in every bar, or more, so is even more reliant on LIKE'S than the example given here - Concrete v Arthur) And T, though more hit and miss with the concepts and wording, actually used 2 of his 4 bars to attack things about his opponent other than the way his name is spelled. (V however used all 4 of his for name-plays that didn't attack his opponent really at all.) Blah blah blah, but ... for overall consistency and enjoyment MFVGT Vellum |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
Posted: 16 August 2018 at 10:40pm | |||||||
This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Nice battle here fella's,really liking the wordplay. Vellum. I thought the way you opened with the 1st bar was decent enough via the alias play (serving T/Starbucks),but it also seemed a little lack lustered to me also due to using the word "up" twice in the set up,anyways there after you displayed some rather fresh similies/punches whilst still flipping he's alias in the process,plus the fact you had some humour also help raise the strength of the punches,and your w/plays was creative and aimed well st him via alias,nice verse.. Rapper T. I thought you started out with some sprite via you 1st bar,it had the element of being factual that for me made it hit home well,i also liked the w/play you brought to the table,like the (TV/Football) in your 2nd bar,and up until your last bar you held your own against Vellum,your lady bar was a reach in my opinion,your w/play here was on the shaky side for me,barely relating to him, still like Vellum your plays/punches were working here,even the personals on the whole tied in,again nice verse. Overall,both seemed evenly matched on the surface,but as you delve deeper, I found one to be that bit more focused and creative,and that was Vellum,RT I feel your last bar cost you really,if you had just tightened that last bar i bel- ieve this would have been your win instead.. Vote..Vellum...peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
Posted: 16 August 2018 at 10:42pm | |||||||
3-0 ko, win er Vellum..
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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