Forum LockedText Battle Archive: Rapper T vs Vellum

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Rapper T vs Vellum
    Posted: 04 August 2018 at 8:29pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 August 2018 at 7:13pm
If he don't get his bars up imma leave him scarred up
Certainly, I'm "serving T" like "Baristas at Starbucks!!"

You a straight dummy who's "fake money" like the "dollars dudes Counterfeit! I'll tear a "rapper T at the seems" like my "PAC shirt when I grew out of it!!"

Quit rapping kid forget it... It's a fact you pathetic
My bet is you "taking and L_T" like ur "kidnapping a lieutenant!!"

Im droppin writtens to leave this piece of shit rocked in minutes
He should because "tease a bitch" like a "male stripper's job description!!//(t's a bitch)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 August 2018 at 7:15pm
Expo
LT=lieutenant abbreviated
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 August 2018 at 8:34pm
*he should quit because Tease a bitch like a male stripper's job description!

Had to fix the typo
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 August 2018 at 4:58am
Damn dude…

Thought you was aiit ‘til this ‘deVellumment’ happened’

But shit, your bars more stretched than you was mountin’ a canvas (stretcher bar)

 

Valencia … Let me exspain, see, you just not in Don league

They see T before V like footy watchin’ on screen

 

I mean, you CAN'T even set up a punch, like you got small arms

I’m callin’ T REX steez cos you about to fall hard (wrecks)

 

While I’m at it V, ellumy to actually smash him (allow me)

You'll take the L-V like you got ‘bag’ged for the fashion (Louis Vuitton)

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 August 2018 at 4:39am

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Man this wasn't half bad, bro. I"ma break this down bar by bar who won

Bar 1 - T got this. While I loved that baristas at starbucks line, Rapper T used your name as well, and in the follow up line he not only used an equal metaphor, but also a direct flip/response to your verse which, did indeed have some very stretched bars.

Bar 2 - V got this. Rapper T, you kept a good flow bro, and the footy line was clever, but the set up and punch in the "pac shirt" line was a bigger punch to me, also carried some humor as well. Had more energy and I felt like it was a more original metaphor.

Bar 3 - V got this. I felt both bars were kind of weak, but V definitely had a more original punch, you were creative T, but the T rex wordplay has been done a thousand times, gotta be more original to get the green light from me.

Bar 4 - V gets this one, but barely. V, the punch was a nice setup, but that bar was hella stretched. T, I liked the nameplay and the LV metaphor was pretty clever, however I don't feel like getting bagged for fashion hits as hard as being a strippers job description, that's just cold bro.

Overall here, T had better flow, V had better Cadence, T had better delivery, V had harder punches.
At the end of the day, a good battle, but one person came hitting more consistently than the other. Good match y'all. 

MVGT - Vellum
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 August 2018 at 8:26pm

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Velloom

Quote If he don't get his bars up imma leave him scarred up
Certainly, I'm "serving T" like "Baristas at Starbucks!!"
This whole bar was decent.
Nitpicking though, as I do, 'Certainly' comes across as odd word choice in an otherwise gangsta bar ... but I know it's there as a multi, so it does it's job.
Setup was a cool way to start too. Can see you mean business.
(I hope for his sake he gets his bars up.)

Quote You a straight dummy who's "fake money" like the "dollars dudes Counterfeit! I'll tear a "rapper T at the seems" like my "PAC shirt when I grew out of it!!"
Sorta nice. I like the concept and the rhyme but the whole thing was fairly stretched, and the setup isn't really related to the punch.
Also ... *seams

Quote Quit rapping kid forget it... It's a fact you pathetic
My bet is you "taking and L_T" like ur "kidnapping a lieutenant!!"
This is the one you should have dropped the typo correction post for, (instead of that one that didn't really change anything) - but we knew it should be "taking an L_T" and we read it accordingly.
So, another OK bar, but I'm personally not feeling this one as a concept.
Also, setup not really related to the punch.

Quote Im droppin writtens to leave this piece of shit rocked in minutes
he should quit because Tease a bitch like a male stripper's job description!
Decent concept here, and you have pretty much made it work, but
I cannot endorse the rhyming of minutes with description.
Also, setup not really related to the punch.

Rappity

Quote Damn dude…

Thought you was aiit ‘til this ‘deVellumment’ happened’
But shit, your bars more stretched than you was mountin’ a canvas (stretcher bar)
Not sure about 'deVellumment' at first, but it's grown on me since. It sets the scene as light and humorous, and kinda works well.
But then the punch ... I mean I get the play, and it was a nice concept but it doesn't scan at all for me. What would have saved it is if it was reworded to rhyme more than the last 2 syllables only ... but as it is, it just highlights that the whole thing depends on 'happened' rhyming with 'canvas' ... and I really don't think it does.

Quote Valencia … Let me exspain, see, you just not in Don league
They see T before V like footy watchin’ on screen
I might be missing something in this bar.
I wish I'd missed more, to be honest.
There are some decent elements here; combining the T&V from your names you were onto something really good, but I don't feel it really came together.
It maybe that I was still traumatised by the 'exspain' wordplay in the setup...
 
Quote I mean, you CAN'T even set up a punch, like you got small arms
I’m callin’ T REX steez cos you about to fall hard (wrecks)
Not too bad this one. It benefits from being succinct, and funny, and best of all it's an actual attack on your opponent, and IMO a hit ... (as you can see I also highlighted issues with his setups)

Quote While I’m at it V, ellumy to actually smash him (allow me)
You'll take the L-V like you got ‘bag’ged for the fashion (Louis Vuitton)
hmmm ... ellumy = allow me
Is it so bad it's good? Or just so bad?
Well benefit of the doubt, assume that that in itself is good ... what happens when you substitute it in the wordplay that should always work both ways ...
1. While I’m at it V, allow me to actually smash him (ok but are you talking to him or us?)
2. While I’m at it Vellumy to actually smash him (what the fuck are you saying dude?)
Punch had potential but could've been worded better.
Oh, and setup not really related to the punch.

Jerry's final thought

I actually thought this was quite close.
Cos V did what V does, and was more or less consistent
following the tired and tested formula ... (no typo, no homo)
but does need to avoid relying on similes, (this short piece reminded me of this other battle that I will try and link, as it has a LIKE in every bar, or more, so is even more reliant on LIKE'S than the example given here - Concrete v Arthur)
And T, though more hit and miss with the concepts and wording, actually used 2 of his 4 bars to attack things about his opponent other than the way his name is spelled.
(V however used all 4 of his for name-plays that didn't attack his opponent really at all.)

Blah blah blah, but ... for overall consistency and enjoyment MFVGT Vellum
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 August 2018 at 10:40pm

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Nice battle here fella's,really liking the wordplay.


Vellum.

I thought the way you opened with the 1st bar was decent enough via the
alias play (serving T/Starbucks),but it also seemed a little lack lustered to
me also due to using the word "up" twice in the set up,anyways there after
you displayed some rather fresh similies/punches whilst still flipping he's
alias in the process,plus the fact you had some humour also help raise the
strength of the punches,and your w/plays was creative and aimed well st
him via alias,nice verse..


Rapper T.

I thought you started out with some sprite via you 1st bar,it had the element
of being factual that for me made it hit home well,i also liked the w/play you
brought to the table,like the (TV/Football) in your 2nd bar,and up until your
last bar you held your own against Vellum,your lady bar was a reach in my
opinion,your w/play here was on the shaky side for me,barely relating to him,
still like Vellum your plays/punches were working here,even the personals on
the whole tied in,again nice verse.

Overall,both seemed evenly matched on the surface,but as you delve deeper,
I found one to be that bit more focused and creative,and that was Vellum,RT
I feel your last bar cost you really,if you had just tightened that last bar i bel-
ieve this would have been your win instead..

Vote..Vellum...peace.

"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 August 2018 at 10:42pm
3-0 ko, win er Vellum..
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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