Forum LockedText Battle Archive: Beans vs Zinaiii (2-1)

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Beans vs Zinaiii (2-1)
    Posted: 20 August 2018 at 5:00pm
Triple threat battle. 8 bars each due 2 weeks from now
 
Endeavor edit: This turned into a regular battle. Please vote on the better one of the two verses and pretend that every shot at Vellum is actually directed at Beans of Zin.




Edited by Crimson Juice - 23 September 2018 at 8:19pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2018 at 7:50am


Are you a pill head beans? With that name I was bound to brawl
Ima leave him like he od’d in his kitchen. Blood on the tile and all!

Get your core chewed like an Apple. Beans is Scotts teachers pet
I “Ben 100” you seeming stressed; I’ll put a end to your respect like Aretha’s death (RIP)

Flee from death! Vellum battles nobody’s; but enamored with the fame
I’ll skin you after this L, and make an example out your name!

Vellum feasting off a dead site. You Living off of crumbs still
But vellum will be wetting (wedding) his pants at what I’m bout to unveil

I got dumb skill! Ask beans, people tried him but I always hit him cleaner
This beef? You “fell in” records “nice” but he avoids me so he miss the meaner!

Vellum ain’t known to be beast. You probably ain’t boned in weeks
I’ll peel veil back like a bad wedding. Cuz I forever hold the piece!

Your Flows are weak; Idc about anything this puss spitting
Cuz any hate “ya dish” velvel, we all know it’s “wolf tickets”

I’m nutritious. I never “lend tales”, y’all winning? Indeed’s slim
Cuz beans wants “fake beef” so he tied me into what (v)eg in!






vel·lum
ˈveləm/Submit
noun
1.
fine parchment made originally from the skin of a calf.

Yiddish is an old Jewish language. Velvel means wolf

Lentils are a meat substitute for vegans



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 September 2018 at 11:09pm

Listen You Faggots!
Zin been LA's punchin bag! Empire proved U lamest fa'real
Ur guns didnt even backfire & u got ripped aprt tryin to shoot Tre in the field
Any beef we've weighed in resulted in Murdering son right
Zin 1-4 Vs Me!..Already left his face more swollen Than Dave eatin'a burger in 1 bite
Vell Stay OD'n on name flips! This sharp nose'll have the crook gone
The led I push into his blood stream'll takem Higher than  any of the drugs he's hooked on
Know I'm fly! I'll cock this Golden Gun & U'll stay fuckin jealus
Beans shoot to kill & We only see 'Oph(OFF) Spray' when he's applying Bug Repelent
Fuck Zin! Err'y line that I cast'll hit his lips! I'll dead this gay
My Machine Gun piercing..After I give U Hooks to the side of ur head like MGK
 "Apparently Im Gay" Had LA like.. "STFU! why this dude actin Obnoxious"
 A Dresing ^^ that in Ur Sig threw us off..we thought U were coming out, while LA's Hangs in the closet
Whites audios were new born fresh! But drugs gottem the lamest vulture
Could'a had shows W/Migos...
But the only Oph set we see is how addiction forbids him from his kids & Raising Kultur
& the women in Ur fam Open legs, them hoes nude
When it come to Law, Dress, & Arthur, Shelby get'n a Pussy beating, Like every time U've lose Vs <--Them
1-2 Season 1 Final Champ
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 September 2018 at 3:49pm
Changed format of battle a bit. See opening post for more info. Open for votes!
#Bananas

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 September 2018 at 4:00pm

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Ugggggh zins drop flowed evenly and sounded natural off the tongue. The Aretha Franklin bar was white flame hot. With that being said, Beans' bars were aggressive and personal as hell, where as zins bars were (although clever) pretty widespread. Although I prefer a cleaner writing style like zins, in a text battle I have to give it to someone who stays direct and aggressive.

Vote = BEANS
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 September 2018 at 8:02pm

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Unusual place to be at where voting's concerned having to try and forget about
the 3rd party,its kind of off putting,but to no fault of you 2's,anyways i really did
like both pieces here,both threw and landed punches,i feel Zin had the better w/
play,but i found Beans had the crisper and more numerous punches,this is bec-
ause his verse was more originally aimed at Zin then Vellum,where Zin shared
his punches out more evenly,hence why it an unusual situation to vote on,so
seens punches are the strongest category when voting,logics says Beans took
this,and you know what?,logics right,sorry Zin,but it is what it is,an unusual
way to lose due to Vellum's no show,(frustrating eh,wink wink) ...


Vote Beans...peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 September 2018 at 8:13pm

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ZINAII
Quote Are you a pill head beans? With that name I was bound to brawl
Ima leave him like he od’d in his kitchen. Blood on the tile and all!
Nice bar here, though a bit random, but if I follow right, he's OD'ing on Tylenol ... so where's the blood coming from?
Also, I would have liked it much more if you found a way to rhyme the TILE as well as the ALL, rather than the whole thing relying on the Brawl/All single syllable end rhyme... for a quick example, how about "That's a name I was inclined to brawl".
(Ah! he hit his head on the corner of the worktop when he went down, OK, that makes sense!)
Nice play though.
Quote Get your core chewed like an Apple. Beans is Scotts teachers pet
I “Ben 100” you seeming stressed; I’ll put a end to your respect like Aretha’s death (RIP)
Better rhyming on this and is a decent current events play here.
The Ben 100 reference was over my head, but I feel it does all land well regardless.
Also I'm now thinking ... do people chew the 'cores' of apples?
Quote Flee from death! Vellum battles nobody’s; but enamored with the fame
I’ll skin you after this L, and make an example out your name!
Now I really like how this came across, intentionally or not, sounding like a parody of a typical Vellum bar. From the follow on rhyme to the uncomplicated played out name-play. And the 'battles nobody's' was a decent personal angle. So overall for me a decent bar.
Quote Vellum feasting off a dead site. You Living off of crumbs still
But vellum will be wetting (wedding) his pants at what I’m bout to unveil
I thought the setup here had a lot of promise, still personal and really nicely worded, but I wasn't a fan of the punch here. I can see it can be down to personal preference, but I don't like the sort of wordplay where wetting=wedding, also the old favourite of 'world play needs to be read both ways' comes in to play here, because what does 'wedding his pants mean'. Also 'crumbs still/unveil' weakens it for me too.
Quote I got dumb skill! Ask beans, people tried him but I always hit him cleaner
This beef? You “fell in” records “nice” but he avoids me so he miss the meaner!
Nice follow on again. Liked the 'ask beans' to announce switch of target. I may have missed some subtlety of this, but still decent play, nice rhyming and decent wordplay in the punch.
Quote Vellum ain’t known to be beast. You probably ain’t boned in weeks
I’ll peel veil back like a bad wedding. Cuz I forever hold the piece!
OK bar, though a little indirect, and throwaway setup.
Is veil supposed to be vell? If so, not happy with that.
Also not sure why it's gotta be a bad wedding, especially if ur holding ur peace.
But I did like the wordplay anyway.
Quote Your Flows are weak; Idc about anything this puss spitting
Cuz any hate “ya dish” velvel, we all know it’s “wolf tickets”
Decent structured bar again, but relies heavily on the expo, a Yiddish given name that apparently means wolf, to tie in with a pretty obscure phrase. Though I do like how calling him velvel sounds a bit clowny ... but it just seems a little overworked.
Quote I’m nutritious. I never “lend tales”, y’all winning? Indeed’s slim
Cuz beans wants “fake beef” so he tied me into what (v)eg in!
Not worded at all well here, and 'lend tales = lentils'? could you imagine anyone making that mental leap without the expo? if not, to me that's a sign to bin the idea.
Shame because the 'fake beef' concept could well have been the decent closer you needed here.

BEANS
Quote Listen You Faggots!
Standard.
Quote Zin been LA's punchin bag! Empire proved U lamest fa'real
Ur guns didnt even backfire & u got ripped aprt tryin to shoot Tre in the field
Decent personal here.
Not too wordy, end rhymes decent but could've used more.
Punch landed well.
Quote Any beef we've weighed in resulted in Murdering son right
Zin 1-4 Vs Me!..Already left his face more swollen Than Dave eatin'a burger in 1 bite
Lol on the Dave punch, but the uneven lines and the contrived sounding setup took away from that for me ... not bad though.
Quote Vell Stay OD'n on name flips! This sharp nose'll have the crook gone
The led I push into his blood stream'll takem Higher than  any of the drugs he's hooked on
Fair play on this personal, I don't know much about Vellum, but he sure likes the safety of the name flip formula. And that was tied in nicely with drug personal too.
Feel there was room for wording it better, but nicely done here.
Quote Know I'm fly! I'll cock this Golden Gun & U'll stay fuckin jealus
Beans shoot to kill & We only see 'Oph(OFF) Spray' when he's applying Bug Repelent
Ok-ish here. I see the play ... Vellum is AKA Oph White ... (bit of a gamble to not expo that). I get that 'fly' was a tie-in in the setup, but do you wanna by portraying yourself as Fly, when your opponent is packing the bug spray?
Quote Fuck Zin! Err'y line that I cast'll hit his lips! I'll dead this gay
My Machine Gun piercing..After I give U Hooks to the side of ur head like MGK
Concept decent here. Good wordplay and references. But loose rhyming and uneven lines detract from all that for me.
Quote "Apparently Im Gay" Had LA like.. "STFU! why this dude actin Obnoxious"
 A Dresing ^^ that in Ur Sig threw us off..we thought U were coming out, while LA's Hangs in the closet
There was a jab here but it needed a bit of reworking, as it seems all over the place.
The only thing that could save it was the end rhyme, but that wasn't as tight as it could be either.
Quote Whites audios were new born fresh! But drugs gottem the lamest vulture
Could'a had shows W/Migos...
But the only Oph set we see is how addiction forbids him from his kids & Raising Kultur
An OK idea here, personal angle hits, but wordiness and word choice let's it down again ... drugs gottem the lamest vulture? ... pretty sure there must be a better way to word that setup.
Quote & the women in Ur fam Open legs, them hoes nude
When it come to Law, Dress, & Arthur, Shelby get'n a Pussy beating, Like every time U've lose Vs <--Them
Always close strong, but for me this was your weakest. Couldn't really make head nor tail of it. (Sometimes you'll get the idea it's over the head, but it should still read nicely ... which this doesn't). I mean I guess it's a Peaky Blinders thing (?) ... but even so, the real problem is the wording at the end, which just conspires to not rhyme, however I try to read it.

So ....

I seem to have a rather critical approach to voting, just the way it always seems to come out ... so sorry about that. But despite that I did think these were both decent, though not near either of your bests.
Z had better structure, but was less direct, and a tendency to be a bit obscure.
B was attacking but consistently with end rhymes only, so long lines often seem wordy, also the rhymes on the setups often sound clumsy, like it was keyed.

Surprisingly close, but I have checked the math(s), and just edging it ...

... MFVGT Zin
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2018 at 9:00pm
Beans wi s 2-1..
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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