Open Mic: A dawg is what I am

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Topic Ratings Printable Version Translate Topic

   Time to activate my acid-stained archer's armoured plating..
I've been laying down the acetate since Carter in the 80's
I shall advocate to allocate the farmers market praying
that I acclimate and captivate your hearts like Dali's paintings. 
I would castigate the masses but the truth is that I love you dog.. 
Goku on your asses then I lift you up and brush you off.
Roll through in a classic model Chevy with a semi aut
pointing to the heaven's like I meant to point a gun at God. 
Here and there I really meant to give a shit
But several different differences in our own given principals  diminished it. 
Catch me as I'm coppin all these prison bids..
I never found religion in the pen but I'd  certainly envisioned it. 
This August sun is hottest on this effervescent morning. 
There's a bombing run in process with these weapons that I'm forming.
This is hockey club an.. 
CAUTION: cuz I'm checking all those boarding.
It's a boxing punch. 
I drop in on these freshman like I'm foreman.
I'm a sniper on your screen and I been meaning to retire
There's a guy in all my dreams and he's been teaching me to fire.
I am Mayan on the track the way you readers would aspire
to define your own attraction with these pieces you admire.
But there isn't need..
the product that I'm dropping is so visibly 
on lock I'm sending shots across the pond like there's an infantry.
They're calling me the Doc the way I'm watching all these infant'cees 
acknowledge what I've got as being competence and dignity. 
Different breed.
A dawg is what I am.

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Topic Ratings Printable Version Translate Topic
Smoothtung Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 09 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-8-3 Form: WWWLWN	Post Options Post Reply Quote Smoothtung Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: A dawg is what I am Posted: 20 September 2018 at 8:00pm
	Time to activate my acid-stained archer's armoured plating.. I've been laying down the acetate since Carter in the 80's I shall advocate to allocate the farmers market praying that I acclimate and captivate your hearts like Dali's paintings. I would castigate the masses but the truth is that I love you dog.. Goku on your asses then I lift you up and brush you off. Roll through in a classic model Chevy with a semi aut pointing to the heaven's like I meant to point a gun at God. Here and there I really meant to give a shit But several different differences in our own given principals diminished it. Catch me as I'm coppin all these prison bids.. I never found religion in the pen but I'd certainly envisioned it. This August sun is hottest on this effervescent morning. There's a bombing run in process with these weapons that I'm forming. This is hockey club an.. CAUTION: cuz I'm checking all those boarding. It's a boxing punch. I drop in on these freshman like I'm foreman. I'm a sniper on your screen and I been meaning to retire There's a guy in all my dreams and he's been teaching me to fire. I am Mayan on the track the way you readers would aspire to define your own attraction with these pieces you admire. But there isn't need.. the product that I'm dropping is so visibly on lock I'm sending shots across the pond like there's an infantry. They're calling me the Doc the way I'm watching all these infant'cees acknowledge what I've got as being competence and dignity. Different breed. A dawg is what I am.

Sammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Sammy Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 September 2018 at 8:56pm
	woah, this was nasty! i say you need to either collab with Self, Chain or iLL. that collaboration would be hydrogen bomb. CAUTION: cuz I'm checking all those boarding. It's a boxing punch. I drop in on these freshman like I'm foreman. I'm a sniper on your screen and I been meaning to retire There's a guy in all my dreams and he's been teaching me to fire. Here and there I really meant to give a shit But several different differences in our own given principals diminished it. stay scribing, man!


Smoothtung Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 09 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-8-3 Form: WWWLWN	Post Options Post Reply Quote Smoothtung Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 September 2018 at 1:12pm
	Haha thanks man. I've always been a huge fan of CHAIN.

Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 September 2018 at 4:58pm
	Yeah i liked this,your rhyme scheme was impressve it came off as unrestricted really,which set the tempo up well,as to did your multi syllable words,and talking of words your usage and placement of them was nice i thought,which i find is an art form in its own right,because it shows the depth of your vocabulary pool to dip from,and a wisdom on where to slot them to get that intended impact from them,and the metaphors/similies were popping and came off as fresh,the hockey/ sports concept was ripe,to hash out just one concept/play of many here,the only thing i could find that constutes as a gripe was the Goku bar/part,the reason is that i've seen it used a few times of late,(very recent in fact in a diss towards me), with the same reoccurring slant/theme,but in truth it didn't take anything away from this piece overall,nice verse that gave me a kick on reading,enjoyed this.... peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".