Open Mic: Straight off of the dome

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Topic Ratings Printable Version Translate Topic

I lift my hat to you soldier, peace god to each bod-
y, to reach love, gotta preach not to teach wrong
I been sod-den black, I wanna pedal 'em blossoms
No material losses I finna get inexhaustive
supplies to hedge any losses, get shit materialised
Entered the stereo guys somehow right here in the sky
Written superior like, hintn' towards an epiphany
headn' towards the divinity, again the cause is a symphony
Metaphor for the synonym when I read it all back
Cos you wouldn'ta wanted to walk an inch in all black
I writ a mint little rap, cuz I had no other choice
No wonder boys, all a what ya cut up was a tonne of noise
Nothin' up above the voice that's up above in you
In front of you, the under-you, the read-the-rappin'-art-to you
And it wasn't hard to do to concentrate all on it eith-
er... all of it was all it is and they all follow leader

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Topic Ratings Printable Version Translate Topic
Rapper T Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Suspended Joined: 25 November 2013 Location: NZ Status: Offline Points: 1423 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-27-0 Form: LLLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Rapper T Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Straight off of the dome Posted: 26 November 2018 at 4:09am
	I lift my hat to you soldier, peace god to each bod- y, to reach love, gotta preach not to teach wrong I been sod-den black, I wanna pedal 'em blossoms No material losses I finna get inexhaustive supplies to hedge any losses, get shit materialised Entered the stereo guys somehow right here in the sky Written superior like, hintn' towards an epiphany headn' towards the divinity, again the cause is a symphony Metaphor for the synonym when I read it all back Cos you wouldn'ta wanted to walk an inch in all black I writ a mint little rap, cuz I had no other choice No wonder boys, all a what ya cut up was a tonne of noise Nothin' up above the voice that's up above in you In front of you, the under-you, the read-the-rappin'-art-to you And it wasn't hard to do to concentrate all on it eith- er... all of it was all it is and they all follow leader

alicewonder Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN	Post Options Post Reply Quote alicewonder Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 November 2018 at 7:51am
	Haven’t checked this section for a while but this was a nice little read, for a quickly jotted down verse (going off from the title here). Content wise, some of the concepts had more potential and some could’ve been executed better. The “metaphor for the synonym” segment was really nice if I caught the meaning of it properly, and it still had an abstract sense to it which is intriguing to see. Again, the concepts felf somewhat random, particularly in the beginning with the “pedal them blossoms” line and the wording didn’t contribute to the overall clarity either. Separating some of your words to highlight your scheme is also not necessary imo, it can actually distract further. The highlight to me was your flow/smooth scheme though. It’d be interesting to see how you’d expand on a specific topic, or even a narrative.

Vellum Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Vellum Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 December 2018 at 9:23am
	Feeling the scheme and how I’m assuming it flows. Dope

Tru_Booty Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 03 December 2018 Status: Offline Points: 23	Post Options Post Reply Quote Tru_Booty Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 December 2018 at 6:26am
	I kinda liked kit..I only say Kinda cuz I didn't get the flow in all parts but the way it is written I think it's one of those where you needa be the writer to fully get it. where I was able to pick up it seemed different, in a good way. when I read stuff like this I always want the artist to make an audio drop so I can fully understand the vision. cuz I did like the lyrics and the rhyme schemes even though I couldn't fully catch the flow. Accidental Italics N IDK how to stop it. Anyway bro I'd like to hear this instead of read it, make it a bit longer n record man... you can use a cheap mic even I don't discriminate against that as long as I can understand the words and catch the flow and it's nice lyrically which this seems to be...