Open Mic: Pain of the no name

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
ΔE(t) View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 28 November 2018
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 50
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote ΔE(t) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Pain of the no name
    Posted: 03 December 2018 at 7:50am
I'm curious if anyone has any tips about how to write to a beat or how to better translate this style to rap. This is the style I most often find myself writing in.



The scene I saw before my eyes, a desperate and dire tale of lies.

When the rain stops and the smoke clears, tell me what's left of your army?
whats left in your wake of destruction?
It's nice and sunny now, you can see all that went down.
Every cut branch, every last plea.
The man with no head still on his knees.
So tell me what's left of your army.
can you still win if you're the last man standing?
Is there victory if the victor is dead?
Limbless decapitated freedom to lose.
The risk you take fighting desperate fools.
The soldier with one arm and no eyes still carries a rifle.

Aim. Shoot. Bang.

The victor is dead.
A gun shot wound straight to the head.
So tell me what's left of your army now.
Battle flags still fly on the field, severed and ripped without appeal
But the wind played no part in this war, no side claimed
and she'll keep blowing long after the death of your fame.
The blood has spilled and the souls depart,
all that's left is man's cutout heart.
Slow beats.. "To whom does this belong?!"
With the blow of a whisper my ears ring stunned..
To the Earth now, the bodies are gone.

It's harvest time in the USA. This time it's life cut down rather than grain.

So stand up tall if your spine's still intact and tell me now what's left of your pack.
Reduced to sticks carried off on 9x12 body bags, not a single chance given to waive a white flag.
The waste of it all shan't be known for the Earth reclaims every foe.
These sticks to ashes and soon to dust.
Tell me now what's left of your trust.
What's left of the cattle
what's left of the manufactured rattle
what's left of man's incessant prattle
What's left of the life you once lived?
What's left of your desire to win
What's left of you once it all ends?

It's harvest time in the USA. This time it's money cut down, rather than grain.

Edited by ΔE(t) - 03 December 2018 at 8:36am
Back to Top
Tru_Booty View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 03 December 2018
Status: Offline
Points: 23
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Tru_Booty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 December 2018 at 9:05am
Idk how to construct a beat to match a rhyme so I'll be no help there sorry. I think most people do it the opposite way although I have heard of some songs being made that way I think canibus possibly has some music that was produced like that? Idk I remember reading about it though. Taking acapellas and constructing beats around those is technically possible but it's a much simpler process having the instrumental first I can assure you.

Anyway about your drop I feel the overall message about pointless wars and how even the victor has tons of casualties and questioning is that even worth it? Nice idea for a drop and you executed it pretty well, the imagery in your verse is really nice. I'd say work on incorporating some multi syllable rhyme schemes and this drop would be off the charts. My 2 cents.
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down