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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 07 December 2018 at 10:00pm |
Location: The London Metro Date: November 12, 2017 Time: 4:26 P.M. "Yes, Mum, I'm here ... I have sights on the target." "Agent Young .. prepare." "To be fair .. I was born ready." "Just hold your gun steady. This one's deadly. Are we clear?" "Very." "Let's make it clean, Gary. A single solitary shot right between his green pupils." "It's like a dream come true." "On the count of 3 shoot him ... 1 . . 2 . . " *PEWN* ------------------------------------------------------------ I knew the usual procedure was to flee the murder scene and to meet for an extraction with a certain urgency So I placed my AR in a case that was shaped like a guitar Then I hastily escaped and made my way into the park As police cars darted towards the target I had sparked I marched far enough away to evade their prison bars But even if they'd caught me I was part of MI6 As a top-secret agent they would never take the risk Of letting me be charged with a homicide or hit Confidentially commissioned by the British Parliament Once a sargeant called it in I would get a pardon quickly By the chief of their department who'd be barked at by an MP ------------------------------------------------------ "Young, this is Mum, the extraction point has changed. You should race towards the market there's a party on the way of KGB agents -- your location has been traced." "There's a traitor in our ranks?" "As of now I can not say." "Always ready for a tussle." "If you see them don't engage. The civilian population can't be privy to our games ..." ------------------------------------------------------ I stuffed the earpiece in my scarf And dumped the gun case in the pond Then I flung my collar up like my cover name was Bond Sunk a glove inside my peacoat and I clutched my BFR As the youngest agent ever my best weapon was my heart As I trotted through a flock of ugly geese and lovely swans Two jug-heads encroached me on the corner of each arm At the moment I was touched I fucked them up with Krav Maga Crushed one's Adam's apple whole ... punched the other in his jaw With a sudden uppercut that made him crumble and then fall Bet they never saw it coming cos they thought I was too small I was taught by SAS it's not size of the dog, it's the fight & his balls And I'm a tiger striped pit that can bite through a log ------------------------------------------------------ "Za Boy is over zerrre. He's about to gets avay. Avenge our murdid komrade or he'll tuuuns in his grrrave!" ------------------------------------------------------ Blaired a square-headed Russian with a Dolph Lundgren face In less than half a second it was off to the race Being hawked by assassins, whom were all a disgrace . . [In comparisons to I ... Cos Agent Gary Young will embarrass terrorist spies] . . I arrived at the market ... eyed my driver in a Porsh Made a horizontal dive through the opened side's door Their bullets ricocheted and they binged right off the car As we pealed off in a blaze leaving tire marks and smog! . . My first time on an Op and it was everything I dreamed of From watching James Bond, Ethan Hunt and sweet Nikita A keeper of the creed and I will never leak the secrets Of Her Majesty The Queen, the British Government or Kingdom I'm more than just a spy or the "unofficial" type I'm a clandestine knight that'll gladly give my life In allegiance to my country and the freedom she provides! ~SELF~ *Topical battle verse written to the picture
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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Spirit Animal,
this shit was really dope. on a storyline-tip: it had a ton of adrenaline. some really cinematic scenes mixed with an edge of your seat aspect. As I read it, I wondered where it was going, off the rip..I felt like betrayal was imminent, so it read like a plot twist to me lol. some of the descriptions were really dope. the clandestined knight and using tiger striped for brindle was awesome. story felt very real unlike those code nwme bond films lol. youre an expert at this shit really Self. you have many talents tho and youre writing has no limits. welcome home my friend. |
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#Bananas
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Tru_Booty
Groupie Joined: 03 December 2018 Status: Offline Points: 23 |
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Shit man... dope.
The story here is awesome I envisioned it like a book as I read it and it was very entertaining. Reminds me of Jedi Mind Trucks Uncommon Valor for some reason even though the subject matter is different it just had that vibe to it n I can imagine those guys spitting something like this. Also imo this verse was on that level of storytelling and lyricism those that's a big compliment because I love that song. I guess I love this drop lol. Nice stuff bro |
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ΔE(t)
Groupie Joined: 28 November 2018 Location: California Status: Offline Points: 50 |
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Damn this is one of the baddest rhymes I have seen so far. Did you get this whole thing from the picture? How were you able to let your mind focus so deeply on the story? This completely sucks you in, I feel like I just read a screenplay. It was really natural and smooth to read like dialogue that doesn't miss a beat.
I will be referring back to this for learning purposes! Thanks! |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Man i loved this piece right here,it was gripping from start to end,and the suspense
was awesome,although on looks it appears to be a lengthy piece,the pace made its quite a quick read i thought,you hooked me as soon as i read location,and the fact it was set in London UK,you even got the little things right,like the word mum,it took me by surprise really because i would of expected mom's from you being American and all,i also got a kick from the progression the tale took,a skilled assassin/govt spy,on duty for Queen and Country via training from the SAS,(who are technically soilder/ spy's),and its the little things that matter,and if i was to be a prick,the only flaw out of the entire piece was the metro part,we call it the tube or underground here in the UK,metro is to continental for us British to handle..lol,but seriously,a truly Fucking epic read because of the many level of your pen game,(shit even the village idiot would be able to read and understand this verse),because you made it accessible to all,without sacrificing your mechanics..all in all just truly RIPE and enjoyable,to which i shall read again...dope verse SELF,(as per usual)..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Tru_Booty
Groupie Joined: 03 December 2018 Status: Offline Points: 23 |
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Ripe is really something people say as a compliment in UK? I'm not hating or judging I've just never heard that term used like that.
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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No its not used as such in the UK,its something i use personally and my logic is this,(the riper the friut,the sweeter the taste),and please don't take this as me being funny,when entering or commenting in some one else's thread/OM,it should be for feedback only..peace. And SELF sorry for crashing your thread here.. and ppl feedback only from here on.. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Spirit animal,
Welcome home. I know I have left you scared and alone but looking at this piece I'm doubting if I really left you scared and alone. I can truly only really copy what other people said here. This stuff is tough, detailed, brimmed to the rim (is this a thing?) with atmosphere and the flow was really tight. One section that really stood out to me and made me laugh so much that now my colleagues are looking at me like wtf is this part:
Bro, this is perfect lmfaoooooooo |
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#Bananas
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