Open Mic: Pride

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   I need to make the most of my time 
I cheated and lied to get this moment of mine, 
I can’t waste it away with frivolous pines 
Addicted to the screen, the weed and the rhymes. 
When the hammer drops down damning these actions,
Can’t act helpless and shocked with the transactions 
No one to blame, I couldn’t keep up traction 
Fell away by the fraction like an allergic reaction. 
I had all the tools that I need  to succeed
cast them aside like a creature diseased.
My behavior’s rather obscene to be chasin these dreams 
As this pride flows in a conscious steady stream

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ΔE(t) Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 28 November 2018 Location: California Status: Offline Points: 50	Post Options Post Reply Quote ΔE(t) Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Pride Posted: 12 December 2018 at 7:32am
	I need to make the most of my time I cheated and lied to get this moment of mine, I can’t waste it away with frivolous pines Addicted to the screen, the weed and the rhymes. When the hammer drops down damning these actions, Can’t act helpless and shocked with the transactions No one to blame, I couldn’t keep up traction Fell away by the fraction like an allergic reaction. I had all the tools that I need to succeed cast them aside like a creature diseased. My behavior’s rather obscene to be chasin these dreams As this pride flows in a conscious steady stream

Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 12 December 2018 at 6:36pm
	OK Delta let's see what we have here. Yep this was nice,simple in its approach but with deep undertones,i liked its abstract nature,to me it read like a mugging with a hint of panic thrown in for good measure,(or perhaps i'm reading into it to deep),your similies were cool too,can i just ask a question here?,is the pride felt due to euphoria afterwards?, anyhow i enjoyed this short read,I felt finished before it started,keep an eye out next month as i'm thinking of redoing the word drop challenge,i feel this will be right down your street, as you tend to drop short pieces,or feel free to check out some past challengers to get a better understanding of how it works,anyways nice verse here,keep that nib moving...peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

ΔE(t) Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 28 November 2018 Location: California Status: Offline Points: 50	Post Options Post Reply Quote ΔE(t) Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 December 2018 at 6:50am
	Hey Crimson, I appreciate the feedback and sharing you interpretation. That's pretty cool, not a way I would have viewed it. I would like to be able to write abstract thoughts like that, I have a difficult time writing things that I am not genuinely thinking, feeling or otherwise experiencing. I wrote this last night when I was studying, briefly hyperaware of my choices and the exchange of opportunity cost, reflecting on how I often disregard really important things and somehow expect things to magically work out. Seemed quite prideful. Thanks for the heads up, about 10 lines is really all I got so I am down haha.